He rolls his eyes. ‘Oh, Mother, get with the times!’ He adds a sort of camp click of his fingers. ‘Queer has been reclaimed by the LGBTQ+ community.’
‘I don’t think that’s true. Is it, Michael?’
My mouth falls open uselessly.
‘How would he know?’ says Tommy.
‘I…I think it is, yeah,’ I stammer.
‘It is!’ announces Fiona. ‘My best friend’s big brother Sean is queeranda drag queen. She’s called Coco De Mol.’
Cormac spits out his drink and Sheila and Mum start laughing. I join in and ease spreads through me. This is it. This is one of those moments when I could say it. I let myself believe they wouldn’t care. Because surely they wouldn’t. They love me and they’re good people.
‘Bloody madhouse,’ says Tommy. As he picks up his plate and heads to the kitchen, I’m left with the sickening feeling that I’ve done something wrong.
I check my phone for a reply from Ben. Nothing. As usual.
What’s wrong with me?
Everything.
I’ve convinced Mum I’m well enough to go out and am choosing a shirt to wear when Cormac tells me Paul’s party is cancelled.
‘How come?’
‘Him and Ellen had a fight. They’ve broken up again.’
I get a buzz of excitement in my chest, then feel like a knob. ‘Ah, that’s a shame.’ I’m mostly annoyed because I was hoping to talk to Meg about what happened today. The undeveloped photo papers are sitting in envelopes in my notebook, waiting to unleash terrible and awesome secrets.
And also, I wanted to see Paul. It felt like we had such a good time together today. Did he break up because of me?
Stop!
‘He’s asked if we want to go up anyway. Hang out?’ says Cormac.
I smile. ‘Yeah, definitely.’ Cormac raises an eyebrow and I turn to hide my blush. I go to look for a more casual hang-type T-shirt. One that says, ‘I’m sorry you’re now single, but am I really?’
As I dig through my suitcase, I get a text from Meg.
Heard about tonight being
cancelled?
Yeah. Annoying. Paul invited me
up to hang out.
Ummmm?
The sweats start.
Yeah – with Cormac. What you
up to?
I wait for her reply, stewing in guilt, the flavour of the day.
Ellen’s rallied her troops. Girls
