Sheila mouths an apology and takes the shopping bags into the kitchen.
‘What happened?’ says Nanny Bet.
I wipe the sweat from my neck as I bend to give her a kiss. ‘Oh, I fainted again, but honestly I feel fine now.’
She frowns and rests the back of her hand on my forehead. ‘How many times is that?’
‘Just twice,’ I say quickly. ‘I’m going to go see a doctor, but I’m sure it’s nothing. Right, Mum?’
‘Yes, hopefully nothing serious.’
‘I’m sure it’s just the adjustment. I’d better get on. Aoife, could you put my cup in the kitchen for me, please?’
Mum takes it, leaving me alone with Nanny Bet. She stands up and folds her arms.
‘Right,’ she says. ‘What’s really going on?’
I swallow. ‘Nothing, I promise. I just fainted.’
Her head cocks to the side and she reminds me of Meg for a second. ‘Michael, my love.’ She smiles thinly. ‘You can’t bullshit a bullshitter. There’s something you’re not telling me.’
‘I…’ She raises her eyebrows, daring me to lie. But I can’t do it. ‘I can’t say.’
She leans in. ‘You can tell me anything.’
‘I know.’
‘What’s going on?’ She places her hand on my arm, gripping it slightly. ‘You can trust me.’
I want to tell her, but then I think of Dad as a teenager hiding the camera and his notebook from her. I hear Meg’s doubts. I trust my nan more than anyone in the world, but I can’t tell her this and I hate myself for it. ‘Sorry. It’s private.’
I can’t bring myself to look at her until Mum walks back in. I steel myself for the hurt I’m going to see on Nanny Bet’s face, but instead there’s a tremor in her lips.
What’s going on?
‘Sure you won’t stay for supper, Bet?’ calls Sheila from the kitchen. ‘We’re having a chippy for Cormac.’
‘No thanks, Sheila.’ Nanny Bet pats down her white linen shirt. ‘I’ve got things to be getting on with. Tell Cormac I’ll be expecting some top-class coffee when I visit.’
Right on cue, Cormac swings into the living room with Fiona behind him. ‘Oh, will Madam Bet be sitting at her usual table?’
Nanny Bet chuckles. ‘Why, of course. But I don’t expect any special treatment because I used to change your nappy.’
Cormac bows. ‘I owe you a debt of honour for that service. I have it on good authority that my nappies could’ve been used in chemical warfare.’
She laughs. ‘Congratulations on the job, son!’ She squeezes his arm on her way past. ‘Bye, all.’
My chest hurts as I call after her. ‘Bye, Nan.’
She gives me a quick nod before leaving.
I’m not sure how much more guilt I can take today. I do my best to channel Cormac’s energy and pull out my biggest smile. ‘So, shall we get this party started?’
‘Oh my God, you’re such a dork,’ says Fiona.
I blush, but it does the trick. The tension is broken and we get the chippy ordered.
Tommy brings back a big Toblerone for Cormac and pats him on the back. The tips of Cormac’s ears go pink.
