‘Yeah, that’s it,’ I say. ‘It’s like a homecoming thing.’
Nanny Bet grins. ‘I like that. I love having you home.’ She turns to Mum. ‘Both of you.’
I push down the sickly feeling of lying again. ‘So, yes, I was hoping we might be able to…’ I take a breath. ‘I’d like to use one of Dad’s old cameras, if that’s OK?’
The clock above the mantlepiece ticks as the ‘Dad silence’ fills the room. I shouldn’t have asked with Meg here. I don’t want to mess up a new friendship by inflicting my family drama on her.
So stupid.
‘It’s just,’ I continue, forcing myself to look up, ‘we really want to use an analogue camera.’
Nanny Bet sips her coffee.
Mum grips her mug.
The clock ticks.
I steal a look at Meg to see if she’s finding this as unbearable as I am. She’s stroking the underside of Fergal’s chin, who’s purring away.
‘If you’d rather I didn’t, I understand. Sorry I—’
‘No, no,’ says Nanny Bet. ‘Of course, you can. Your daddy’d be delighted that you’re using them. Right, Aoife?’
Mum swallows. ‘Yes, of course,’ she says. ‘It’s exactly what he’d want.’
I jump to my feet. ‘Great. Come on, Meg. They’re up in Dad’s old room.’
Nanny Bet clears her throat. ‘Now, I’m very open-minded, but I’m not sure about you bringing a girl upstairs, Michael.’
My face erupting with heat, I consider running straight out of the door. I throw another glance at Meg, who’s stifling a grin.
‘Aoife?’ says Nanny Bet.
‘Oh, they’re just friends, Bet.’ Mum smiles at me and gives a little nod.
Thanks, Mum.
‘I really should go,’ she says then. ‘Said I’d help Sheila with dinner. Thanks for the tea, Bet. Lovely to meet you, Meg.’
‘You too.’
She kisses her hand and places it on my head. ‘I hope you find what you need, love.’
Nanny Bet shakes her head as Mum rushes out. ‘It will get easier, don’t worry. She—’
‘I know!’
Nanny Bet’s eyes widen. I didn’t mean to be rude, but I really don’t want to talk about this in front of Meg.
She clears her throat. ‘Well, all his cameras are in a box under the bed in his old room.’ Her voice is strained. ‘If you need anything, I’ll be in the garden.’ She lifts a wriggling Fergal from Meg and leaves.
My ears are burning as I turn to Meg to make an apology.
She gives a little shrug. ‘Wait till you meet my family!’
Relief sweeps through me. ‘Cheers. Let’s look for that memory card.’
I have to dig past discarded coffee granules, but I eventually scoop the camera out of the bin. The memorycard slot still has a card in it, but only half of one. It’s broken, the other piece gone.
