‘You stayed then,’ Paul says.
‘Yeah, it’s a great party. Thanks for having me.’
He laughs. ‘You’re so polite.’
I hope that the darkening evening will swallow up most of my blush.
Cormac puts an arm round my shoulder. ‘Give me time. I’ll make a Westie of him yet. Now repeat after me, Michael: “This party is great craic.”’
‘Cormac!’
Meg nudges me. ‘Go on. I’m not marrying someone with an English accent.’
Ellen giggles. ‘Do it.’
My eyes dart to Paul, who smiles. ‘Have a go.’
‘Fine.’ I puff out my chest and in my poshest English accent say, ‘My word, this party is excellent craic.’
Cormac laughs. They all do.
Am I funny in Belfast?
I take another swig of my beer and take in the view of the city. There’s that shimmering light again. It’s too bright but I can’t look away. I glance around the table but nobody else seems to be seeing it.
‘Ugh, get a room, you two,’ says Meg.
I turn round and see Paul and Ellen kissing. My stomach runs cold.
‘That’s a good idea,’ says Paul. ‘Come on, you.’ Ellen picks up her wine glass and takes his hand. ‘See you later,’ he says, and then he looks right at me and winks.
I’m fucked.
Cormac and I tiptoe in around midnight. Everyone is asleep and I’m a little tipsy. I set down the air mattress and collapse onto it. It squeaks as I settle, but then my body sinks in, cushioned and supported. As I stare at the ceiling, a light shines in from outside. Like the one I saw earlier when I first arrived. I’d forgotten about that.
I feel another headache brewing so I squeeze my eyes shut and take deep breaths until it passes. Finally, I drift off to sleep.
I’m on the ferry.
Crows are screeching. The wind is blowing.
A young boy stands beside me, he’s about ten, holding a wooden box pointed at the sea.
I follow his gaze and see Uncle Tommy’s house, which is somehow on the deck of the ferry too.
There’s an old-fashioned car. Children are playing.
A door slams and a young girl with red hair runs out of the house.
Mum.
She runs towards me. Past me, and into the arms of the boy.
Dad.
They hug.
‘I’m sorry,’ she whispers.
