There’s a moan behind me and I turn to see a man.
I wait for him to fade, but as the white light takes over everything he remains, his face in his hands.
‘Dad?’ I step towards him, frightened he’ll not hear me.
His hands move away. ‘Michael?’ His body is shaking. He’s as pale and brittle here as he is in the hospital bed. ‘Can you see me? Are you real?’
I run and throw my arms around him, but they pass through him. I sink to the ground.
Another fucking trick.
‘Son, it’s me.’
I shake my head. ‘You’re in the hospital.’ I stand and scream into the white abyss: ‘Why won’t you leave us alone?’
‘So, you know.’
I turn slowly. He’s still there. He’s wearing the clothes I found him in. ‘How did you…?’ He looks at my hands. ‘My camera. You have the visions?’
I nod.
‘I should’ve told you.’
His words press on the bruises of old hurts. ‘You left us.’
‘I know.’ Dad lowers his head. ‘I had to try and…fix this. To fix me.’
I step towards him. ‘By what? Running away and trying to change this.’ I gesture behind me.
‘It’s my fault.’ He grasps his chest.
‘What?’
‘I got her killed.’
‘Dad, no!’
‘You just saw it. She died instead of me.’
‘You can’t blame yourself.’
‘I said I hated her, Michael.’ His hands are pressed to his stomach. ‘She died thinking I hated her.’
I want to hold him, make him feel better. ‘You were a child.’
‘I just…I just want her to know I loved her.’
There’s a pressure building in my ears. ‘She knew, Dad. I could see it in her face.’
He blinks. ‘You saw?’
‘I saw your fight before she left. Of course she knew you loved her.’
Dad’s chin trembles. ‘I remember so little about her.’
‘Because of Nan. I know.’ He sags to his knees and a lump expands in my throat. ‘You both went through so much and…’ The thought clears a space in my head like a cool breeze. ‘You were doing your best.’
‘I’m so sorry.’
