She glares at me. ‘Sit down. We can do this.’
My eyes water from the fumes. ‘I don’twantto do this, OK. I don’t want to do some stupid ritual.’
Her face hardens. ‘I’m not stupid.’
‘You’re right. Youaresmart. Maybe the smartest person I’ve met. But this –’ I point at the table – ‘thisis stupid. No, it’s worse. It’s obsessive. I told you I didn’t want to…speak to them.’ My voice is louder than I’d like. ‘What do you want from me?’
Meg rests a hand on her chest. ‘I don’t want anything. I’m your friend. I’m trying to help you.’
‘If you want to help me, then be there for me. Leave this shit alone and stop talking crap about my family. My dad could die, Meg, and it’s all because of them and this awful thing I have.’
‘It’s your power, Michael. You have to embrace it.’
‘Why? So I can end up in a hospital too. Is that what you want?’
She pushes her hair back and gets to her feet, causing the candle flame to gutter. ‘Of course I don’t want that.’
‘Well, then I need you to leave this be. I need to focus on my dad.’ I take a deep breath. ‘I’m never using my powers again. I don’t want to end up like him. I can’t do that to my family.’
There’s a tap on the desk and my eyes are drawn to the lamp.
‘What are you saying?’ Meg’s voice is low.
My fists clench. ‘I’m saying that I’m done with the visions. I’m done with the photographs. I’m done with the Morrigan.’
Meg rubs her forehead. ‘You have a gift from a goddess. How can you ignore it? Do you have any idea how lucky you are?’
‘Lucky? You think you know everything because you’ve lit a candle and read a few books about the Morrigan. This has ruined my dad’s life. I don’t want it to ruin mine.’
She shakes her head and the shadows of her hair cast dark flames against the wall. ‘You don’t deserve your power.’
‘And you do?’ I spit the words and her cheeks flush.
‘Yes, actually.’ She pushes her hair from her eyes. ‘Maybe I do. I’ve already done the ritual.’
I pause as a cold numbness starts at my fingers and works up my arms. ‘You what?’
She gestures to the table. ‘I’ve been practising the Imbas Forasnai since yesterday. I just didn’t want to tell you, what with everything you’ve been going through.’
Curiosity and fear are battling in my chest.
‘It was scary at first, not going to lie. I had to get alotof materials and do a tonne of research. Then there was the chanting. I just didn’t know what to say, you know?’
My throat is dry. I need water. I need air.
‘In the end I just kept it simple. “I want to speak to the Morrigan, the Great Queen.”’
I picture a woman with white skin and flowing red hair reaching out for me and I take a step back.
‘First few times nothing happened. You know why?’
The hairs on my arm rise and tingle.
She gestures again at the table. ‘I was cooking it before.’
‘What?’ I follow her hand to the black bowls on the table. One contains some feathers, a second some herby liquid and the third lumps of glistening meat.
Raw meat.
