Dad left us. He’s gone. He chose to leave.
I have to move on.
The kettle clicks and I make the tea. I smile politely as I bring it in. The adults are now talking about house prices.
‘Want to join us, love?’ Sheila asks.
And join their grinning, fake faces?
‘No, thanks.’
‘Maybe you should get some rest,’ Mum says. ‘It’s been a long day.’
A little surge of rebellion heats my chest. ‘Actually, I’m going out with Cormac. He’s invited me to a party.’
‘Oh, are you sure that’s a good—’
‘See you later.’
I walk out before she can stop me.
By the time I get to the party, I’ve either missed the food or nobody can be bothered working out how to turn on the elaborate barbecue in the back garden.
The sugary smell of cider and soft drinks hangs in the air. Cormac gives me a hug and walks me around the garden, introducing me to people as he goes.
‘This is Michael. Aye, the one from England. Nah, nah, he’s all right.’
My cheeks burn and I shake off the impulse to apologise for being part English.
Cormac grabs a can of beer from a bucket and offers it to me.
‘Oh, no, thanks.’
Cormac rolls his eyes. ‘Would you prefer a glass of our finest Merlot, sir?’
‘I don’t really drink.’
He blinks. I’m about to make up a lie about having a virus but maybe I should chill.
‘I will have one actually.’
Cormac smiles widely, seemingly relieved that I’m normal enough to drink. He grins as we clink our drinks together.
‘Welcome home, cuz.’
My shoulders release. I’m determined to relax. ‘Cheers.’
The beer is warm and very bitter. I don’t really enjoy drinking. When you grow up seeing what it can do, it can put you off. Still, it’s considered weird not to drink. Some people always want to know why you aren’t, and it’s too soon for me to lie about having a virus. Also, why would I come to a party if I had a virus?
I implore my brain to take a break from the hypervigilant overthinking.
No chance.
Cormac seems genuinely happy to have me here, and after the day I’ve had I want nothing more than to feel, just for once, like a regular teenager. No missing Dad, no whispered conversations and absolutely no mysterious and inexplicable blackouts.
Please be normal and blend in.
‘Why did you change your mind?’
