Her eyes meet mine. ‘He said the visions were getting more vivid, more real. Like he could almost step into them.’
Oh shit.
‘He said he could hear things as clearly as if they were happening now. He was even able to smell the past. He said… He said the visions were starting to feel more real than real life.’
I think of approaching the towering light on Acre Street. It was like I was stepping fully into the past.
‘And he said that they were calling out to him to join them.’
‘The Morrigan?’
‘Yes. They were tempting him, torturing him. I guess he finally gave in.’
I sit heavily back in my seat. I picture the woman’s face in the photos. Her white hands reaching out to me, beckoning me. I hug myself.
‘So it’s happening to you too?’ says Nanny Bet.
I nod.
‘I was trying to protect you from them, from this. I wanted to stand up to her this time.’
‘What does that mean?’
She raises a hand. ‘You don’t get the right to know everything about me.’
‘I do if it affectsme. That’s my dad.’
Her nostrils flare. ‘And he’s my son! You have no idea what it feels like to see him like this.’
‘Does it feel like guilt? Because this is on you.’
She jerks back like I’ve hit her. ‘Michael.’
‘You took his memories, you made him leave, you lied to him his whole life. All of this –’ I gesture to Dad – ‘is your fault.’
‘Everything OK?’ Orlagh is standing in the doorway.
We assure her it’s all fine and she goes. The beeps from the machines fill the vacuum between us, and my eyes follow the wires that trace Dad’s body.
‘I won’t do it again.’ She strokes his arm. ‘I swear to you both. I won’t. But…’ Her eyes are on me. ‘Stay away from them, Michael. Please.’
My eyes narrow. ‘Oh, I’m done with all of this. I don’t want to end up in a hospital bed.’
She nods. ‘That’s good.’
I stand. ‘And I don’t want to end up like you.’ She reaches out, but I step away, making a silent promise as I leave the ward.
I’m going to find a way to ignore the Morrigan.
I sit in the waiting area for Mum to come back from seeing Dad. She lets out a long breath.
‘Want to get some air?’ I ask.
‘I really do.’
‘How’re you?’ I ask as we step into the corridor. I think it’s the first time I’ve asked it since we got to Belfast. I’ve been so caught up in my own stuff.
‘Oh, you know. Fucking awful!’
