He doesn’t reply. His brows knit. His gorgeous lips tighten. He scrutinizes my face like I’m a puzzle he can’t solve. Whatever he sees there deepens the furrow between his eyebrows. He takes another step back, taking the heat with him.
I’m suddenly cold. Bereft. I shiver.
He slips his coat off and places it around my shoulders. His gesture feels intimate. But his gaze has turned impersonal. Whatever emotions I glimpsed earlier have been replaced by wariness.
"You felt it too, didn’t you?"
He stays silent.
"That kiss wasn’t one-sided. I know it moved you as much as me."
His lips tighten.
"So why are you putting distance between us? Is it because you’re scared about what it made you feel?"
Something shifts behind his eyes. "Iamscared," he admits.
"Oh." I blink. I so did not expect him to acknowledge that.
"And you’re right, that kiss felt different. It moved something in me," he explains as his forehead furrows, "but that’s all the more reason for you to expect more of me, and I wouldn’t be able to give you that. It’s why we need to stop whatever this is. Before you get hurt."
"Shouldn’t I get to make that choice?" I tuck my elbows into my sides. This is such a ridiculous conversation. I want to be with him. And he thinks he’s going to stop me from getting hurt by turning me down.
"Of course, you should be the one to decide what’s right for you. But in this case, you should trust me when I say that you don’t want to be with me."
"But what if Idowant to be with you?" Argh, I hear my words, and my cheeks heat. I want to tell him that I’d choose to be with him, even if it’s only for a few hours. That I’d walk away after. But I already know that’s a lie. Once I’ve been with James, I won't want anyone else. He’ll spoil me for any other man. But oh, how amazing it would feel to be with him. Some of my feelings must show on my face, for the blue of his eyes deepens. A nerve throbs at his temple. The chemistry between us spikes.
"Damn, woman, you’re making this difficult." He swallows. "I promise you that I’m not the kind of man you want to be with. I’m not good for you, Harper."
Hearing my name from his mouth sends a shiver down my spine. My nipples tighten. My scalp tingles. I sway toward him. He cups my cheek and lowers his head. I close my eyes, tip up my chin, and feel the warmth of his breath on my cheek, on my lips.
Then just like that, it’s gone. And so is his touch.
I snap my eyes open, to find him looking at me with a tortured expression in his eyes. "I can’t, Harper. I can’t let you spoil your life. You’re so young. You have much to accomplish. You don’t need someone as jaded and cynical as me. Someone with ghosts from the past which haunt me and hold me back. Someone who’s seen things no man should and still be alive. Someone who’d taint your innocence. Someone who’d drag you down into the darkness with him. I’m not the man for you."
"But what if you were?" I swallow. "What if you were the man I was waiting for."
His lips twist. A sadness filters into his eyes. "I’m not."
"How can you be so confident?"
"Because you haven’t seen enough of the world yet to know what you want."
I nod slowly. "What you’re saying is true. But if that kiss was any indication, I know it’s going to be amazing with you."
“I’d be your first. I admit, that makes me want to throw you over my shoulder and carry you off to my bed and ravish you.”
His words conjure up images that make my stomach swoop and my toes tingle.
He hardens his jaw. “But I’m not selfish enough to do that."
I narrow my gaze. "What do you mean?"
"You’d catch feelings. And I wouldn’t be able to give you what you wanted."
My jaw drops. The audacity of this man. He really has such a big ego; to think I’d definitely want something more than a one-night stand. I have a sinking feeling though that he’s right. I bring my churning emotions under control and tip up my chin. “You mean, I’d want more than sex?"
He nods. "And I can’t give you anything else. I’d break your heart. And my sister would hate me for it."
