“Then why? Why fake your death and disappear?”
As much as something in me wants to close up again and to keep the truth from hurting her more, I’ve been waiting too long for this opportunity to let it pass. Finally, I have her in front of me, aware that I’m alive, and I’m not going to waste it.
So I take a breath and gently grasp her wrists, holding them. “I did it because someone put a target on my back, and in turn, on yours. I knew that if I stayed and tried to fight through it, they’d use you to get to me, and I wasn’t going to let that happen.”
Slowly, she pulls her arms back, so I let go. She wipes at her face and pulls in a stuttered breath. “So you decided for me…you kept me in the dark.”
“I did,” I admit quietly, well aware of what that must’ve done to her. “It was wrong of me to do so, but I didn’t see any other choice. I wanted to keep you safe.”
Despite a subtle shift in her anger, hurt lingers in her gaze. “You always did.”
“And that hasn’t changed.”
Lily stares up at me for a long moment, letting me see as that pain gradually shifts into relief. “God, I’m so mad at you.” Then, she nearly knocks the wind out of me as she surges forward and pulls me in for a hug this time. She sniffles. “But I missed you so much.”
It catches me off guard at first, but I ease into it, feeling as she pulls at my heartstrings so easily. I swallow hard, trying to keep my own emotions down as I hug her back. “I missed you more than I can say.”
We stay like that long enough to finally satisfy that protective side of me, and the one that’s been raging at the thought of anything happening to her. But here she is, within reach. Safe and breathing.
As much as I don’t want to admit it, the Lukovs seem to be looking after her well.
“Mama!”
A little voice pulls us both out of it, and as Lily releases me while wiping her tears away, I glance over to see a small figure entering the room on mostly steady legs.
As the child approaches and Lily softens, smiling gently, it clicks in immediately, and everything stops all over again.
“You were supposed to wait in the other room,” she says gently, bending down to pick the little one up. Resting the little girl on her hip, a maternal warmth spreads through her features.
“I know,” the toddler says quietly with a sheepish look before glancing at me and turning a bit shy. Yet, those dark eyes stay on me as she clutches Lily’s shirt.
“Lily,” I murmur, in shock at the sight. “Is that…?”
Taking a grounding breath, my sister nods and holds the girl close. “This is my daughter, Anya.”
My knees nearly buckle, but I force myself to stay upright as my expression softens. “With Mikhail?”
She nods, and Anya presses her cheek to her shoulder.
I take her in, both dumbfounded and shaken by the fact that I’ve had a niece without even knowing it. The overwhelming mix of grief and wonder hit me so hard that I couldn’t will my mind to come up with anything better to say. “Hi, Anya.”
She frowns slightly, obviously completely unaware of who I am. It stings, but I can’t exactly blame her.
Despite everything, Lily snorts. “She’s deciding if you’re worth her time.”
As the tension loosens enough to be noticeable, I let a small smile pull at my lips. “Fair enough.”
After a beat, Lily watches me closely while I take it all in, trying to process too much at once. “You really didn’t know?”
I shake my head. “No, not at all. I didn’t think I’d missed this much...”
Her expression softens just a touch, and from her eyes alone, I can tell she’s far too wise for her years. “I’m not the girl you left behind.”
“I can see that,” I say quietly, feeling another stir of emotions in me. “You have a life here. You look happy.”
She hesitates only slightly, as if wondering just how honest she wants to be with me after all this time. “I am.”
The admission hits me like a sucker punch, but in a way, it’s still somewhat of a relief.
