Seven’s chuckle filtered through the neck of her beer bottle. “Well…obviously. You make the commitment because you care enough to take the challenge. Maybe you guys just aren’t on that level yet. Declan does adore you, though.”
“I know. It’s just…there’s…” I pinched the bridge of my nose and huffed, turning away from her and grabbing a mug from the cabinet. I heard her hop down from behind me before her arms wrapped around my middle and she perched her chin over my shoulder. She smells like a tanning salon. It’s always been so at odds with what she looks like, and I love it. No wonder Malek hit the floor. Sev makes me question my sexuality sometimes.
“Look. Are you okay? Anything we need to beactuallyworried about?”
Yes. No. I don’t fucking know.
“Yeah, I’m good. Just frustrated.” She kissed my cheek.
“Then I won’t pry anymore. I’m no expert, and I think that’s obvious because I married your ridiculous brother…but relationship problems always work themselves out. One way or another. You’ll get there. Just remember that a year ago…I wasn’t happy keeping all that shit to myself. Bottling explosives is a messy business, Bridge. You never know when the shit will pop off. Talk to him. The worst thing that could happen is you guys call it quits. Sometimesthatdoesn’t even last.”
It only drove her point home when I heard Malek’s awful singing on the other side of this wall. We snorted and I poured us both some coffee. The next couple hours were spent watching trash TV, until I realized how late it was getting. I snuck inour door around three in the morning and found Declan on his side with his tattooed back facing me from his side of the bed. Part of me wanted to slide in and grab his cock…but I didn’t. I took a long shower instead and tried to tell myself that I owe him absolutely nothing. No explanation. No excuses…but it just doesn’t feel right. I really do suck at all this fluffyshit. I don’t want him to go anywhere, but the idea of actually settling down? It’s just not…settling. Pretending he’s not a fucking human being isn’t gonna solve anything. I know that. Sev’s right. I need to talk to him, I just don’t know how.
When I finally slipped under the dark red sheets, it was like the weight of this entire day just vanished. I’m beginning to realize just how much I’ve changed since last year. I’ve never been so exhausted with everything. I never had a reason to…not until now. I let sleep sink her claws into me and exhaled myself into oblivion.
The clang of dishes is a bit dramatic. The added bonus of curses in Irish that he seems to forget I understand? Downright unnecessary. I painted straight lines of blood-red polish across my toenails and rolled my eyes to myself, poised on the couch like a mountain cat about to pounce. It’s weird, the angles one can get into just so you can get something done. Home pedicure. A good fucking. The glory of getting your fingertips on something you can’t reach on the top shelf?
“The food doesn’t jump off the plate, love. Did ya even rinse it?” Whoever said living with someone was good for the relationship…clearly never met Declan McCann. You’d never believe he wasn’t a dad with the way he babies me. However…theotherways he does that…don’t actually suck.
“That’s what a dishwasher is for, Declan.”
“The plate doesn’t put itself in the dishwasher, love.” I twisted the cap onto my nail polish and padded over to where he was sticking the last plate into said dishwasher, reaching under the hem of my sweater and lifting it over my bare tits. My head cocked to the side with my signature smirk while he took a good long look at those puppies. Nothing like a little reminder of why he puts up with me. “Payment accepted.”
“Good boy,” I chirped, dropping my shirt and patting his cheek as I passed by him to get to the fridge. The dishwasher door slammed shut and he shut the sink off as I scoured the half-empty goodie freezer. I could feel those eyes on every inch of my bare legs.
“You didn’t come home last night until almost dawn.”
I slid a half-pint of ice cream towards me and closed the door. “I was at Malek’s.”
“I know. I’m a wizard. Doesn’t tell mewhy.”
He knows why. Or at least…hethinkshe does. I love my brother. I tell Mal everything. Though I do give him an expensive stiletto in his ass just as much, the life adjustment has been a little hard for me.Everythinglately’s been hard for me. But Dec also knows that there’s plenty I do keep from Malek for obvious reasons…one of them being the fact that we’ve been fucking on and off for about four years and completely dropped the bomb on Mal in the middle of an explosive emotional moment. I don’t blame him for being a little apprehensive if I’m sneaking off at night to go play house with the only sister I’ve ever known…my track record for keeping an actual relationship is a bit…lacking. What I do blame him for…is having the audacity to feel that way when he knows exactly how I am. The minute this starts to get all‘Bridget where ya been?’…I’m out. He’s just lucky I haven’t already mapped out a death worthy of a true crimedocumentary, or have some need to see him bleed out. I also don’t have Malek at my disposal anymore.
He’s got the life he’s deserved before I had to go and get myself a heartbeat. I’m not taking that away from him. I’m a big girl now. Wear thongs and everything.
“I don’t need a reason why, Dec.” I grabbed a spoon out of the drawer next to me and started digging into the carton. “Chubby Hubby?” His arms were crossed when he looked down at my offer, and he shook his head.
“Not unless ya want me tobecomeone. I’m not a huge fan, anyway. You ate all the Cherry Garcia.”
“So complain a little…I ate it off yourtaint.” I smiled while I flipped my spoon over and dragged it out of my mouth. I love it when he looks at me like that. I also hate it. It gets my pussy throbbing, but…Declan’s the only man I’ve ever ravaged that doesn’t make me feel like I’m gonna puke as soon as his eyes light up with tiny hearts. I don’t like that. It makes it feel too real, and I’m not good atreal. Not this kind. I also have this persistentassholeof an elephant sitting pretty in the room every time we’re around each other…and it’s getting a lot harder to pretend it doesn’t exist.
“Sounds a bit more appealin’ now.” A few loose curls of his brown hair hung over his brow, one of his hazel eyes peeking through strands…the other one adding to the spike in my pulse rate while he mentally undressed and fucked the dog shit outta me. I’m not gonna last five minutes under that look…or that man bun. I never do. It’s why it’s always been so damn hard, not going back to his bed every time one of my playthings pissed me off. I pressed my spoon to the center of his chest and inched him backwards until his ass met the counter.
“Can’t right now. I’ve gotta go meet the contractors at the house. Adult kinda shit. You know…the boring kind you only like paying attention to if they’re talking about tech?”
“Look at ya. Growin’ up on me.” He smirked and flicked my nose and I snatched that finger, bending it backwards until he dropped his mouth open in pain. “Ah…shite. Quit it.” I grinned and pressed myself against him, tossing the ice cream on the tiny kitchen island and inching up on my tiptoes to shove my tongue in his mouth. That always shuts him up. Distracts him, so I can sneak off to do some more‘growin’ up’.
The Byrne house was sold months ago. Almost a year, actually. Malek got his half, and I got mine. He and Sev are more than happy, keeping it simple in her apartment. I’ve got expensive taste. Nearly a year in this little dump is about to drive me crazy. It’s a tiny condo on the middle floor. Our upstairs neighbors have small kids, I never get any damn sleep, and shacking up with ahacker, of all things, means ten times less room for all my shit. I can’t wait to get all my accumulated must-haves outta storage. Can’t wait to start decorating our custom-builthousethe way I want it. It’s almost done, and I’m convincing myself that it’s gonna help quench some of that thirst I have for something normal in my life.
“I’ll be home in time for dinner. Keep it hard for me, ‘kay?” My hand gripped his crotch, and he groaned into my mouth, squeezing the life out of my ass and kissing me back. His choice not to respond after I broke away and eased off of him just proves to me that there’s a lot he’s not saying. Which means I’ve got more of those peskyrelationshipproblems I’m not good with.
What Dec doesn’t know…is that I’ve been paying some close attention to what he does, ever since we’ve been sharing a bathroom. He onlythinksI was at Mal’s last night. Everybody thinks I’m just some child that has to be managed. They can fuck off. I figured out how to use a proxy, write code and hack my own GPS to let Declan and anyone else believe I’m where I’m‘supposed to be’. The only hard part was applying it to theIP address on my phone…but I managed to figure that out too. I’ve set the route and hidden my exact location within a code I’ve seen Dec write,himself. It wouldtakea hacker just to figure me out.
Last night I fed one of the demons. I’m starting to understand why my sick need to see all the pictures of my exes with their insides hanging out, just never quite scratched the itch. I’m also starting to understand how easy it is to corrupt the soul by embracing the darkest parts of it. Malek started learning all this at sixteen. The same age I learned what my favorite whiskey is, and the right way to milk a cock. We’re two different sides of a really fucked up coin. But I’m starting to like blood better than booze.
I’d like to say that all this started back at the O’Dell compound before it made for a spectacular fireworks show…with my Daddy inside it. That’s only half true. The real start of it happened two months ago. Dec wasn’t home, and I got notified that I had some certified mail with my name on it in the post center. Thank Christ he wasn’t here. I thought I was safe from what I found inside…but legally…I’m far from it. Mal promised me I wouldn’t die last year when all of it happened. He also promised I’d never be an O’Dell…
But I’m officially the sole heir to everything they have. Or…had.
