…And there it is…my little doe in the headlights.
“D—Declan?!” The back of her head raised up off the ground, and she stared up at me in disbelief and exasperation. My dick is hard. “…Oh, my God…this can’t fucking bereal...this can’t…oh, my God.”
“As real as your lies, Little Doe.” I eased my knees off of her arms and let her get her world back together, relishing in that scarceness of oxygen and reality. The one thing I didn’t quite expect was the tears. It’s been a very long time since I’ve seen these. And I’ve never seen them forme.
I almost feel bad about it. But this is the proof of how easy it would have been to risk everything for absolutely nothing. How playing with the big boys before you’re ready can start a ripple that never ends. How easily she can drown in that ripple and take the ones she’s failing to protect down with her.
Bridget maneuvered up to sit, the tears coming faster and the next thing I knew, both her hands were on my face, and I forgot everything I wanted to fucking rip her apart for. That lying mouth crushed against mine and I caved…like the hopeless piece of shite that I am, hooking an arm around her and pullingher against my chest. Tongues and teeth…secrets and lies. Hell and heaven, and everything in between.
…And then I saw stars for a wholly different reason when the back of her tiny hand thwacked across my cheekbone.
“You—asshole!” My hair hung over the side of my face as I slowly turned it back to her, and I couldn’t help but smile. “Youstupid, fucking—” She hit me again, barely hard enough to hurt a small baby, but manic enough tolooklike one. Couple times in the face. A few to the chest…until I grabbed her by the chin, puckering her cheeks and held her steady by her pretty pale throat.
“Hit me again, Bridget Byrne, and I’llmakeyou deal with the fresh problem you’re creatin’. Gonna throw a hissy because of the lengthsyoumade me go to make you see fucking reason?!” I shoved my hard cock against her and felt her body shudder in response. “Yeah…see, now it’sokayto want the stalker in the woods.”
“Oh, piss off.” She tried jerking her face out of my grip and I tightened it. If I could see the tips of her ears right now, they’d be as red as her hair. “Get your fucking hands off me.”
“That what you want, lass? Not what it sounded like about two seconds ago. Certainly not what it feels like, currently. Theonlything I ever asked you for was the truth you thought you were about to die for, Bridget! All the other secrets were forgiven, and you didn’t even know they weren’t secrets anymore!”
Her lower lip quivered, and her breaths stuttered, causing me to loosen my hold a bit. “You can’t love me if I’m one of them…”
“You’renotone of them. You’ve never been one of them and never will be. And the saddest part…is that I’d still love you if you were married to some other bloke because youwantedtobe…” I eased off and dropped both hands to my sides, leaving her completely in control. “But you knew that already, Bridget.”
Now she’s heard it for herself.
The dreaded admission of the ‘L-word’…
Now, we’re sitting in the woods, breathless and staring at each other like we haven’t shared a bathroom and bodily fluids for over a year. I know she loves me. But I shouldn’t have to fucking go through all this to get her say it to my face. I shouldn’t have had this much fun, making it my mission to torture her to the point that she had no choice but to admit she needs me. This doesn’t feel as good as I thought it would anymore, and now I’m just pissed. I eased back and stood, snatching my knife out of the dirt, about to leave her there to finish cleaning up her own mess and she jolted forward, reaching her hand towards me.
“Dec, wait…I…”
“You what.” More uncomfortable silence. Fuck it. I turned my back and started walking aimlessly through the dark, spearing a defeated hand through my unruly hair. “Bye, Bridge.” My pace picked up in a blind attempt to drown out her pleas for me to come back, but I’m done with this. I’ll give her whatever she wants. I’ll be her lapdog. I’ll be anything she needs me to be…except this. I refuse to be this.
I didn’t even realize I’d started running until something hit me in the back and I skidded to a halt in front of the big root and Vikter’s creepy ass body.
“Stop!”
I turned my chin over my shoulder and there she is…breathing like she just outran an aircraft, and holding a sorry-lookingpine conein her other hand. I sighed hard and turned around, shoving my hands into my front pocket. “Your brother already danced this dance, Bridget. I’m not Malek. I’m not gonna beg you to fuckin’ say it.” The pine cone dropped from her hand and she crossed her arms like the brat I’ve always known. “Do Ineed to put the mask back on? Hide my face and treat you like horse shite? Is that what it takes to get you to tell me the fuckin’truth?”
“I don’tknowwhat the truth is, Declan!”
I pulled the knife back out of my pocket and rushed her, flattening the blade against her chest. “Yes, you do.” My stubble skated over her jawline, and I ran my tongue over her earlobe, hitting that sweet spot that drives her mad while I whispered over every sensitive part of her skin. “You try to tell me you don’t have fear, Bridget and we both know it’s a lie. You’re scarednow…of something you’ve always had. You want me to stay? You’ve got two seconds to convince me.” The flat of my blade followed the zipper on her jacket, and it buzzed the entire way down her midsection. “It’s not the chase that scares you. It’s not this knife you thought was gonna expose that twisted little heart…it’s the fuckin’ heartitself.” I closed my teeth on the shell of her ear and her breath hitched as her arms dropped to her sides.
“You’re right…” she choked out.
I stopped dead.
“Love is always the end of everything, Declan. It shattered our house. It broke my Daddy. It killed my mother. It almost killedMalek. I don’t care if it kills me…I don’t want it to killyou. I don’t want what we have to fucking change. I don’t want it todie.”
“You don’t have a clue what I’m capable of, do you?” I swiped her zipper down and the point of my knife snagged her thin shirt. I used it to rip it open and the air whooshed out of her lungs as I slammed her back against a tree, pinning her. “You’ve got no faith in me, Bridget.”
“That’s not what I meant!”
“Shut up…” My hips pressed against hers and I ripped the jacket and the shirt down her shoulders while her head fellback. “You think I know everything, help take down an entire family to get you outta harm's way, and spend a year living with a gorgeoustoddler, because I can’t handle it?” She went for my belt and I let her, wrestling her tight jeans open while the knife flashed between us. “You think I’m gonna let something likeloveget one over on me? Onyou?”
“I don’twantto love you, Declan! I never wanted this! It ruinseverything.”
My pot’s starting to boil. This feels an awful lot like what it must be like to get mad at your bairns. She infuriates me.God, she’s the worst. And fuck if she’s not a thousand times sexier when she raises my temper.
