“Glad I didn’t try to cook for you, lass.” I gave her my best sad voice. Her body tells me more than enough. It worked. She feels bad.Good. I need her mind spinning when I throw this wrench in whatever she’s about to do.
“I know…I’m sorry. Had a few issues at the new house.”
“You got at least one issue left unresolved right here.”
“I know. Don’t worry, I plan on handling that.Literally.” I said absolutely nothing. Her chin turned up, and I can see her eyeroll from all the way over here.“Declan, I’m trying, okay? I know I’ve been—”
“See you at home.”
I ended the call and watched her slowly peel the phone away from her ear, staring down at it with enough confusion and distaste that it made me smile.That’s it…let it sink in deep. I bit into my greasy burrito and obnoxiously chewed, trying to think of anything but a dad bod. It’s takin’ everything in me not to get outta this car and do push-ups. I don’t care what anybody says…there’s a time and place for rabbit food. Never…and in the trash. I peeped over to see Bridget back herself out of my sight and dida quick pivot around myself to see if maybe she saw something I didn’t—nearly pissed my own jeans when I caught my reflection in the rear-view mirror.
“Ah,God…Jesus, Lord…Mother…Mary. Joseph of Arimathea.” The burrito dropped into my lap and I snatched a wad of napkins to clean myself up, cursing the entire time. I look like a fucking idiot. And to think, just one night ago…I was keenly aware that I was feeling myself in this psycho stalker getup. I only painted half my face. I look like some unfortunate wanker at a homeless masquerade. When I glanced back up, Bridget was gone—and so was the car parked a short walk away from where she was waiting. “Fuck,” I growled, tossing the burrito out the window and pulling the tracker up.
She’s moving too fast to be walking. Did she steal a fucking car?!
Sure as shit. I pulled the app linked to the mic and connected it to the Bluetooth while I pulled onto the street, following the tracker.
“You gotta boyfriend, Lydia?…Hey!”My brows lowered, and I tried for the life of me to remember the make and model of the car I hadn’t been paying enough attention to.“Can you pay attention, sweetness? Tryin’ to have a conversation…I’ve got one. He’s a sexy little nerd. Wears glasses kinda like yours. Has a dick the size of a tanker truck and knows how to rearrange my insides.”
I’ll let the nerd thing go. She just complimented my cock.A tanker truck?Definitely one I haven’t heard before. And who the fuck is Lydia?
“He’s honestly unbelievable. The fucking best, really. But like…ugh…he’s such aNagatha Christie.I leave one dish in the sink and he loses hismind.”
“Nagatha Christie?!I most certainly donotfucking lose my mind!” I realized how absolutely insane I probably lookedright now when the woman driving in the lane next to me, looked like she was second guessing how much she had to drink tonight. I smiled and waved…she promptly pressed her gas pedal.
“He’s so pretty when he’s mad, but I swear I don’t do it on purpose. I can’t help that I shed like a cat. It’s just a fucking sink,for Christ’s sake. Literally nobody’s bathroom looks like a hotel all the time, you know what I mean?” I shook my head, rolling my eyes so hard one of these contacts slid outta place.“You’re so easy to talk to, Lydia. I feel like I can just tell you anything.”
“Well, at least you’ll tellsomebody, Bridget.”
“I used to get fed up right about now. You should see all the pictures of my exes. They’re divine. Bloodier than you, and way more unfortunate. You should be grateful…judgy bitch.” There was a meaty, thudding sound and it dawned on me…‘Easy Listening Lydia’…was what Bridget was out there waiting on. She just whacked another one.“Just shutup, Lydia. Nobody fucking asked you.”
Why am I smiling?I shouldn’t be smiling. This is far from funny. But look…you’ve gotta see the humor in it. Whywouldn’tBridget be just as bratty and bitchy as a psychopathic murderer, as she is in the wild? And nobody understands how I fell for her? Malek would be doubled over in a hyena fit right now…and probably proud…if this was a year ago. Hell, if this was a year ago, Callum would be scratching his head trying to figure out where to put her on the call list. Part of her enjoys this, and I’m not sure if that terrifies me…or makes my dick hard.
“I don’t wanna lose him,”Well…that’ll wipe a grin from your face.“But I’m not ready for all this shit. I dunno what to do. If he finds out about this marriage…”
“Peculiar thing, that…it’s too late, and theironyis…I’m right behind you, Little Doe. Right where I’d be if you’d deigned to tell me the fuckin’truth.” The movement of the bouncing headwith a tint of ginger in it, in the car in front of me, matched the squeal and the excitement of the song that started playing through my car. It’s her. I kept a safe distance and followed her off the ramp when she made an exit.
She’s headed back to Witherle.
I’mma eat her alive. And it’s time to play with my food.
Well…this is nothing if not entertaining.
What. In the fuck…is she doing?
I watched her park this broad’s car, get out, kick away the tire marks…and then drive three more feet just to get out and do it again. I feel like my snickering is gonna get loud enough to be figured out if I don’t tone it down…but here she is…moving the car again…and kicking more tracks. It’s like she gets more frustrated every time, and I’m enjoying this way too fucking much.
“Dear God, please let me have the opportunity to watch her try to leave after this. I’ll do anything,” I laughed, shoving a cold french fry into my mouth. Bridget had her hands on her hips, scratching her head and looking at the car like it would tell her what to do. I saw the moment a light bulb went off, and she reached in, barely moving when the car began to roll on its own, downhill…until it crashed into the wood line and smacked a tree. My next fry paused in front of my open mouth. “Hmm…unexpected.” She kicked those tracks too, and marched over to where the driver’s side door was still open. I snuck out of mine and quietly shut my door to tiptoe near her and see what she does next.
When I tell you it was all I could do…
Bridget popped the trunk open and I saw that light bulb too…no shovel this time either. I covered my mouth with my hand, stifling the laugh that would do me in. Oh, she’ll be madder than a git with spilt beer over this. Seems like a good time to crack open the psycho killer starter kit. I grabbed a shovel outta my trunk and snuck over to where she was inspecting poor Lydia who looked to have completely slunked into the floorboard on the passenger side. I took a wee moment to admire Bridget’s perfect arse while it stuck out of the driver’s seat and laid the shovel down behind her while I backed out of sight.
“What the f—” I smiled under my mask while she stared down at the shovel…and the thrill of fear she never gets started crawling over her pretty face. “That better not be you. I’ll fucking kill you this time, I swear to God…”
That’s not very nice, love.
I stayed hidden in the dark and relished in her flinch when she watched a wound-up rope fly out of the shadows and land next to the shovel. Now her little manicure is safe. She darted towards me, but I was already off, kicking up dirt and dead leaves through the woods. Well, this is different. I didn’t expect her to chaseme. I chuckled under my breath, dodging nature while she huffed behind me. She stopped abruptly when her phone startedringing—not buzzing. Her head darted in every direction, looking for me while she pulled it out of her pocket. I love her ringtone. It gets me every time. I’ll never admit to anybody else that this song is a banger…wouldn’t do anything for my burly image. I might have listened to it a time or two by myself…“Buttons”, by the Pussycat Dolls.
