I forgot about Karen for a minute and dropped my gaze back to Nikki. What I had to say needed to be said right now. “Are you having a fucking laugh? You’ve been trying to change me for years and now because I'm someone that you want, you get to make the rules. Fuck that Nik. I’m not an animal in a circus, you can’t train me. You should know by now, Nik, I don’t change for no fucker.” I took her hands from my shirt and moved her aside. I walked away pushing my body back through the crowd and right through the main door. I needed air.
How dare she question me. I don’t know if she tried to follow, and quite frankly I couldn’t fucking care. She stopped our arrangement, I just followed through on it and I wasn’t about to start it again.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Karen
As much as I tried to get my breathing to level out, I couldn’t. My chest heaved. I had no claim on Gav whatsoever, and I had no idea what was between them, but I’d heard how she spoke to him when I’d been working. I sighed heavily and turned away. You couldn’t miss her hands on him. The way they rested on his body, the way she looked up at him. Fuck! What is wrong with me? I watched as he fought through the crowd and slipped through the door. As I looked back to where they’d both stood, Nikki had disappeared now, too. I needed a drink. My head was a mess, I was so confused. Surely, he wouldn’t have kissed me the other night if he was with someone, or had I really got this wrong? I blew out a breath and headed for the table with a smile fixed to my face. I picked up my vodka and knocked it back in one gulp. “More shots?” I asked the others with a forced smile. Everyone agreed except Gav, who was outside. I wanted to go outside to him, but I was scared. I couldn’t take rejection, I’d never been able to, so my motto was if I didn’t try, I couldn’t get hurt.
Lifting my arm up at one of the servers, she nodded at me and came straight over. I could have gone to the bar. There’s only me that can do that, but only because of Holly being bar manager and everyone knows me. She reached me with her arm up and a tray balanced on her hand. “What can I get you all?”
“Round of tequila, please? Put it on my tab though.” I made sure she knew not to place it on Roman’s.
“No.” Roman interrupted as he waved me off. “Put it on mine, and get one for yourself.” He smiled and gave the waitress a wink, I just knew the way his eyes smiled that he’d used that charm more than once. I shook my head and looked back at the front exit.
“Are you okay, Karen?” Paisley asked as she touched my arm to get my attention. My head snapped back her way and I forced another grin.
“Of course.”
A small frown twitched at her forehead, “Are you sure? You don’t look okay.”
I breathed a gentle sigh, and tried to keep it together. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Of course…” she patted the leather bench she was sitting on, and I slid in behind the table.
“I’m not sure I should be asking this; I mean it’s really none of my business…” I rambled.
“Just ask, whatever it is.”
“Are Gav and Nikki like, together?”
“Together? What, you mean a couple?”
I nodded at her; I suddenly couldn’t find my voice.
“Those two… ugh, they had something going on, but they’re about as different as chalk and cheese.” I didn't know how to feel about that. The way she put her hands on him though, I knew. “Why do you ask?” Paisley’s voice broke me from erratic thoughts.
My head shook, “Oh, just something I saw earlier, I guess. I just wondered.” I shrugged and Paisley studied my eyes. Just then the waitress brought the tray with our tequila on. Nothing like a distraction, “Cheers, guys.” I picked up the small glass between my finger and thumb and lifted it to my lips. Nikki slid up beside me, looking completely unaffected, I wanted to ask her. I wanted to know what was going on, but there was no way I could ask her. If I wanted to know anything, it was going to have to be Gav. I tipped the liquor back, my throat was on fire as it slid down and when it hit my chest, I thought it was going to crumble. “Fuck!” Paisley laughed and Nikki picked up hers, too. I watched her down it, then I excused myself and went in search of Gav. It’d been a good ten or fifteen minutes since he’d left the bar, I’m sure he’d calmed down a little bit now.
I pushed through the door and looked one way, then the other. I couldn’t see him, though, so I stepped out onto the sidewalk and made my way to the parking lot at the back. As I rounded the corner, I saw someone with his back against the wall, “Gav?”
He looked across at me and he stood up straight, now I knew it was him I went over. “Are you okay?”
He smiled, “Yeah, I’m good,” but even I could tell it was forced. “What are you doing out here?”
“Looking for you?” He lifted his chin in answer, but no words came out. “I saw you with Nikki?” His brows furrowed over his eyes.
“Okay… I’m not sure what you’re getting at though. There was nothing to see.”
“There was plenty to see if you know what you’re looking at. So, I’m going to ask you this. Are you together?”
“Why do you want to know?”
“Why can’t you just answer the question?”
His cheeks puffed out as he breathed deeply, irritation lining his face as he scowled. “No.” His answer was short and sharp, “No, I’m not with Nikki. What you think you saw, you didn't see.”
“I’m not stupid, Gav. Don’t treat me like I am. Also, I know we’re not together in any sense of the word, but maybe if you’d told me a little about yourself, I would’ve understood.”
