We made the twenty minutes trip to the nearest casino, Nikki sat in the back while I sat up front with Rhys. “Just so you know, I’m doing this for Roman.”
“I know.” I felt fucking scolded. One day I hoped there’d be a time where I didn’t need to ask where I could and couldn’t go. And that day would be soon. I hated being watched, and it was time things changed.
Rhys pulled onto the front, and nodded at the guy at the gate. We passed him and found a parking space.
The doors opened for us, I stood at the threshold and breathed in; and there it was, familiarity, like coming home again. I led the way to the bar and grabbed three drinks. A soft drink for Rhys, and Jack and Coke for me and Nik. I passed them over as I nodded back at the barman. He recognised me from last week. The night I stood here like a pussy not knowing what to do.
This time though, I manned up and went through to the other room. The Craps tables, the Blackjack tables; they calledin unison. It was like a swansong. I took a seat at the nearest Craps table and grinned as I looked back at Nikki and Rhys. They exchanged a look but came over to join me anyway. They stood behind me as I nodded at the shooter. He pushed chips towards me and passed me the dice.
As I played, everything else around me melted away. Nikki and Rhys stayed close, apart from a toilet break, and we had drinks brought over to us, but I didn’t care what they were doing for the most part.
My blood boiled with excitement.
I ached for it.
Yearned for that rush again.
So much so that I was sweating. Every now and then I had to wipe away the sweat that had leaked from my forehead.
I was winning.
I should stop.
“We should go, Gav.” Rhys said from the side of me. “Come on, dude.” He tapped my shoulder then clutched it tightly between his fingers. I looked between him and the table. I thought about Roman, and how I promised I’d be good. It’s always when I was on a winning streak that things got out of hand.
“Gav,” Nikki almost pleaded with me to leave. I had to leave. I needed them to see that I could walk away. I nodded at them and made a slicing action under my chin to the shooter. He paid me my winnings. I was almost a grand up. That’d do me.
“I better go pay the tab at the bar.” I said hoping to sneak another JD shot in at least.
“I’ve paid it.” Rhys confirmed. So, like the good little boy I could be, I walked out of the casino a winner. First time for everything I suppose.
As we returned home, I headed straight for the games room. There was a fully functioning bar in there, and I needed anotherdrink. I was too wired to sleep yet. Nikki and Rhys went their own way while I analysed the shit out of tonight. I was on a high after winning. I could do that more. Was I cured?
My elbows dug into my knees as I sat on the edge of the leather couch, my fingers gripped the tumbler as I sat forward and let it hang between my knees. I sloshed it around with the slightest movement of my hand before I knocked it back in one gulp.
I wasn’t sure how much time had passed when the door to the lounge was nudged open, and Nikki walked in. “Here you are.” She crossed the room to the bar and grabbed herself a Scotch. She looked back, “Want another?”
“Trying to get me drunk, Ms Wilson?”
“Like I could. We’ve played that game remember.” her lips twitched with a small smile. “So, I’ve been lying upstairs thinking.”
“That’s dangerous.” Her eyes bored into mine. “What’s wrong?”
Her glass settled against her lips as she sipped on her scotch. My gaze moved to her throat as she swallowed. She rolled her tongue between her lips and sighed, “I think we need to stop this.”
She passed me the refilled glass, “What, drinking Scotch. Yeah, I think you’re right,” I smirked. I knew exactly what she meant.
“Gav,” She cut me off, I sighed and tried to numb my brain with more Scotch. “I… I don’t know how to stop this thing between us.”
“Then don’t.” It was as simple as that, wasn’t it? Wasn’t everything that simple?
“Why are you so cut off? I know you have problems, Gav, but a little emotion wouldn’t go a miss.”
“Why? Why suddenly do I need to have emotions, Nik.” I pushed my body out of the chair. The glass clinked loudly as it hit the marble surface of the bar. I leaned forward and tightly gripped the edge with my fingers. Emotions were shit.
Her hand on my back had me tensing. I turned around and moved her backwards, the chair behind her stopped her steps, and she dropped into it. My hands rested on the arms as I bent over her. “Why don’t you let me fuck you senseless instead.” My nose brushed her cheek and then rubbed against hers.
“Why does it always have to be about sex with you? Why can’t we be more?”
