I can’t.
I don’t care what it takes; I will make sure she stays.
Chapter 8 - Kayla
It’s late.
Very late.
Or very early, depending on how you want to look at it.
I moved the single armchair closer to the massive double doors that lead out to my private balcony in my bedroom. The doors are wide open, and I’m sitting just inside the doorway. I’ve been staring at the stars for so long, the sky is starting to change color.
My mind is far too busy to let me sleep. I know, because I tried. All I managed to do was toss and turn until the frustration was so bad I wanted to scream or cry.
So, I came to sit here.
It’s peaceful around me. The world seems quieter than usual. Perhaps it’s because my mind is so noisy.
He’s a Bratva king. A powerful, dangerous mafia leader.
It explains so much, but also leaves me with so many questions that I’m honestly not sure I want the answers to.
At least now I know why he broke up with me.
A mafia king…he probably got so bored messing around with someone as normal as me. His world is chaos, mayhem, and excitement. I was some kind of dull intrusion. Something to have a little fun with before it became too bland.
It makes me feel the smallest bit better, knowing.
Because it’s also something I couldn’t actually compete with. That level of excitement or adrenaline is never going to be who I am.
It still hurts, though.
All of it hurts.
Being too ordinary hurts.
Loving a man who is so powerful and so dangerous…it hurts.
Loved. In the past. Not anymore.
I’ve spent hours just thinking. Every little piece of the puzzle is clicking into place as my understanding of the situation grows. And it isn’t just about what happened between us all those years ago. It’s also about now.
And for the first time in my life, I can’t numb the feeling inside me. It’s too big. It’s too much.
I’m drowning in fear.
The father of my children is a monster. He is a murderer, a criminal, and a dangerous, deadly man. What have I done? Bringing them here?
What is he capable of if I try and leave?
I’m terrified.
And I have no idea what to do.
The only thing I can do is stay polite, keep my distance and wait. So far, Josiah has shown no capacity to harm our children. The emotional harm he did to me was brutal, but I can handle that now.
My children, as far as I know, are not in any immediate danger.
