Alara ushers us all into the living room to get comfortable on the sofas while the food is still cooking. Roger sounds very busy in the kitchen, and I wonder what he’s up to if Alara has already done it all.
The girls have discovered a treasure trove of toys in a basket near the corner sofa.
“Mama, can we play with these?” Kira asks, dragging the basket out.
Alara jumps up happily. “Of course you can,” she declares, sitting on the floor and tipping the whole basket over in front of herself.
“Are there other children who visit?” I ask, wondering if maybe Isaak or Alara have kids.
“No, um, these are all new…I thought…I wanted to…” Alara stumbles over her words, then gives up and shrugs, and gets involved with the twins as they search through everything in excitement.
I smile warmly at her. “Thank you."
While we chat, Alara laughs with the twins. She’s having a blast, and so are the girls.
It’s quite special to watch them together.
It strikes a chord deep inside me, because it’s something I haven’t fully considered right until this moment.
I’ve often thought about the twins not having a father, and I’ve worried about how that would affect them. But I never considered what it was like for them to have no family at all. I think it’s because I didn’t have family, and I never thought it was a big deal. But now, seeing them playing with their aunt, even though they have no idea who she is to them…my heart is flooded with warmth for them. For the first time, I'm seeing what it might be like for them to have a full support system that doesn’t just involve me.
“Miss Alara, I believe your duck is ready, if you would like to come and confirm?” Roger says politely, standing in the doorway of the living room.
“Oh, of course, I almost forgot about it!” She jumps up, and the girls jump up with her.
“Can we help?” Kira asks.
“I’dlove that!” Alara says excitedly. “I need some professional taste testers before we start serving dinner, do you think you’re up for it?” she says as the girls follow her through to the kitchen.
“I can taste stuff,” I hear Kira agreeing.
Josiah is grinning, watching the scene as closely as I am.
“She’s good with them,” he says thoughtfully.
“She’s a natural,” I agree.
“Alara has always had the biggest heart, but I think with them…it’s extra special for her. She was so excited to meet them,” Isaak says. He glances at me. “So was I. They are truly special young ladies, Kayla. You have done an incredible job as their mom,” he says, smiling.
My heart swells with pride and warmth.
Josiah is smiling proudly, too. I know this means the world to him, to have his family meet his daughters. For the first time, I actually feel guilty that I didn’t want the girls to know the truth yet.
It’s something I’m horribly nervous about, but he’s right when he says we have to tell them at some point.
I’m just not ready yet.
Josiah was the first person I ever truly allowed myself to rely on, and look where that got me. Before him, I didn’t have family. No brothers or sisters or parents. I spent the first few years of my life in an orphanage after I was found on their doorstep. All that was left with me, and all I will ever know about my real family, was a single note. It wasn’t deep or emotional. It simply said;I don’t know who the father is, and I cannot do this alone.Nothing more.
I was fostered by an older couple, and eventually they adopted me. They paid for my education and took care of me financially, but we weren’t close. It was somewhat of a military household with strict rules that I obeyed without question. There wasn’t warmth or love, not the kind of love that children need.Affection. Still, I am incredibly grateful for what they did for me. I always will be. I know a lot of children who left the orphanage went into terrible situations that left them traumatized and scarred for life.
The older couple passed away before I graduated from college, and after that, I was truly and completely alone. And that was close to the time I met Josiah.
Glancing at him now, my heart feels heavy with the pain of what Ithoughtwe had.
He taught me a lesson, though. He taught me that the world really is as cruel as it seems, and the only person we can really rely on is ourselves.
Because of my experiences, I made the choice, from the moment I discovered I was pregnant, to do everything in my power to make sure my children had a very different life. They will never question or doubt that they are loved unconditionally. They will have everything their hearts desire. They will learn to be strong, but also that they can come to me for anything.
