“Nothing Chess, come on, let’s write out a statement. I need to call Tony back, give him an update.”
We enter my living room, shutting the door behind me, but I pull on his hand and make him look at me. “No, Jackson, tell me what you meant?” He clearly doesn’t want to give something away. “You already said you want more. You have to open up to me if we’re going to do this.”
That perks his interest slightly. His eyes sparkle like a kid on Christmas. Like he just got a present. Like a wish came true. “You really want to do this”? he asks.
“If you don’t keep me in the dark.”
He steps closer, taking my hands in his. “I want to tell you everything. I’ve always wanted that. You’re the only one I wanted to tell everything to. To come home to, to make decisions with, to plan with,” he smiles. “I used to tease you in school because I liked you. How could you not see it?”
“What! You were so mean to me. And Britt! You guys never wanted us around.”
“I wanted you around too much. It’s why I pushed you away. I told you this, Chess, I didn’t want to screw it up and then lose everything. If you thought I was a jerk, you’d leave me, and I wouldn’t be able to hurt you.” He looks down, shaking my hands a little. “But yea, I used to stand up for you in high school. Remember homecoming your freshman year? That asshole Gary asked you out, but he was only doing it so he could ride in our limo. I made him see the error of his ways,” hesmirks. “And when that girl Stacey started hanging around you and Britt, she wasn’t your friend, she was just trying to get close to Adam and me. I also showed her the error of her ways. Especially when she tried to spread rumors.”
He eyes me, and I remember those instances. Stacey spread a horrible lie that I was too easy, and the guys didn’t date me because it wasn’t a chase for them. It was so embarrassing because, if anything, it was the opposite. I was holding out for the one person who didn’t see me. “There were more times than just that, weren’t there? The guys wanting to date me, only to stand me up, and the girls befriending us, only to see it was fake. I knew it. I always knew that. And it made me guarded. It’s part of why I wanted out of this town—it was fake.”
He pulls me in. “I’m sorry you felt that way and that I made you into a different person than the fun lovable Chesty we all knew.” He flinches as I poke his side in retaliation at that nickname. “I didn't mean for my actions to come off as if you weren't enough, but that's how it was seen. This isn’t fake.” He gives me a sweet kiss on my forehead. Then my nose. Then brushes my lips ever so slightly.
I take a breath and look at him. My eyes must hold fear. I fear they are reflecting all of my old heartbreak and my worries of future heartbreak.
“Jackson…”
“You’re panicking,” he says.
“I’m not panicking.”
“Don’t run.” He pulls me closer.
I run my hands across his shoulders, not looking at him.
“Don’t run,” he repeats. I look up at him, our eyes holding.
“Don’t. Run.” He says for the third time.
“I’m right fucking here!” I yell a little too loud.
“You want to fuck right here?” I burst out laughing because how can I not? He is so ridiculous. And he’s all mine if I let myself have him.
“I said what I said,” I say and smirk at his raised eyebrow.
“You ready for this?”
“For what?”
“Your last first kiss.” He leans down, capturingmy lips with his. Only instead of the sweet kiss from before, this is all-consuming. This is ownership. Branding.
MINE.
I’mhis.
“I’m ready.”
I am ready. I’m telling myself I’m ready. Making myself believe it.
I just hope I’m not setting myself up for heartbreak. Again.
Chapter 26
Jackson
