Oh. Ohno. “Connor, how horrible.” I could barely speak, my throat so tight it ached. “I’m so sorry.”
He opened his eyes and met mine at last. “The car didn’t see her, and I couldn’t reach her. I wasn’t fast enough, Ivy.” There was a tremor in his voice I hadn’t heard before. “Angus darted at the last minute, but Sarah wasn’t fast enough. She died right there in the street. While I held her and could do…nothing… to save her.”
Angus started to whine.
Heads still pressed together, I rested my hands against his cheeks. “That didn’t happen here tonight, Connor. We’re all okay.”
He shook his head and leaned back, brown eyes shadowed, his face still wet from his tears. “Don’t you see, Ivy? This is why I need to leave. Why I can’t do it again.”
My heart fluttered, and I felt like I was going to be sick. “I don’t understand what you’re trying to say, Connor. No one was hurt tonight. I’m okay.”
“It’snotokay, Ivy. I can’t go through all that again. That pain. I don’t think I could physically stand it if…”
“If what?” I whispered when he didn’t finish the sentence.
“If something happened to another woman I cared for.”
I sucked in a breath. Was he saying what I thought he was saying? Did he care for me like I cared for him?
He gently released me, slowly and with reluctance, and stood. “I just don’t have it in me to risk loving someone again. It’s too hard. It took me so long to heal from a loss like last time. It’s too much.” He blew out a long breath and looked away. “I thought maybe I was ready, but last night showed me I’m not. It’s too much of a risk.”
“You’re not the only one taking a risk here, Connor MacDowell!” I scrambled to my feet. Angus yipped and tried to climb up my legs, but I ignored him. This was too important to lose focus. “I’m taking a risk here, too, and I’m willing to take that risk! For you… forus!”
Connor shook his head, sorrow etching his face and eyes. “No, Ivy. You have no idea what it feels like to have the person you love, the person you pledged to love until death, suddenly ripped from you. Sarah and I didn’t get the chance to grow old together, and I still get angry about that. I vowed to never open myself up to that kind of pain and hurt again. Then I turn around one day, and you’re standing in an alleyway waving at me. I can’t explain it, but I felt something there that I hadn’t felt since Sarah was alive. And it scared the hell out of me. Has been scaring me over and over every time I look at you. Touch you.” His hand rose as though to brush my cheek, only to drop away again. “Think about you. Ivy, I don’twantto feel that again.” He practically groaned in agony. “I’m broken. Still broken. That’s why I have to leave this place. Leave you before we both get hurt.”
I’m not sure where the courage came from, but I stood up straight, shoulders back, and jabbed him in the chest with my finger. “No. I’m not allowing it, Connor MacDowell! You deservelove and happiness, just like I do. We make a good team, too good to just throw whatever this might be away because there’s a chance something bad could happen to one of us. We proved that last night.” I leaned down and picked up Angus, who immediately started licking my cheek. “Please don’t be so afraid to try again that you lose the chance to have what you deserve. Don’t throw us away before we’ve even had that chance.”
On impulse, I stood on tiptoe, then pressed my lips against his.
Warm. Delicious. And soright.
For a few timeless seconds, he didn’t move.
I was about to pull back when I felt his arms tighten around my waist and pull me even closer. Tilting his head a bit, he deepened the kiss.
I’m not sure how long we stood there, kissing on the sidewalk like our lives depended on it. It wasn’t until Angus started dancing around us that we pulled away, laughing and crying.
“You’re mine, Connor MacDowell,” I said, stroking his rough cheek with one hand while balancing his very bratty—and now beloved—dog in the other. “I’m not letting you go. You can try to run, but I’ll catch you every time.”
He laughed and pulled me close again. “Is that a bet?”
I laughed with him and shook my head. “Nope. That’s a promise.” I looked up at the sky and smiled as soft, white flakes began to gently fall in the perfectly still air. “It’s snowing. Just the right ending to this Valentine’s Day season, wouldn’t you say?”
“Happily ever after, is it?” he teased, his eyes dancing with amusement.
I grinned and pulled him down to me. “Something like that.”
29
The scent of freshly baked cookies filled the air as I carefully pulled a tray out of the industrial oven. The bakery bustled with activity on the other side of the kitchen door, even more so now that Connor and I had officially partnered in business.
Well, and partnered in dating, too.
That last fact was the one that made me smile.
I glanced out the swinging door through the packed front of the bakery, past the plate glass and across the street to see how busy Connor’s shop was, too. Our broad arc of lights and decorations sailed over the traffic on the street, connecting my bakery to The Sweet Shoppe. The new structure, instantly a hit with townspeople and tourists alike, glowed warmly in the late afternoon darkness and cast a festive glow over the heart of Jingle Junction.
We had decided to stay open a bit later on the weekends, offering new treats and services to our customers. While Connor focused on the soda counter and ice cream, he left the coffee to me, knowing it was my specialty. He’d even moved his shiny new coffee machine onto my premises, and I absolutely loved it!
