“I hope one day when I find my granddaughter,” Ingrid said, “she falls for a man like your Jacob. Virile. Those are the best breeders.”
I snorted. While I felt sorry for Ingrid, who seemed to be constantly looking for her long-lost granddaughter, I had a moment of panic at what that young lady must be like today.
“We saw Frank and asked him what the boy’s name was,” Gilda said. “He told us all about Jacob and how he just moved to town and was looking for a place to live. He then asked about whether or not you’d rented out your place.” Gilda looked around her at the other women. “We all decided he’d be a good choice for you, Monica.”
I shook my head. “So the day Jacob called me and asked about the house, Frank had told him about it?”
“Yes,” Mom said. “Of course, he also may have seen it in the paper, too. But we knew Frank would get word back to him with your email address.”
“And what about the stupid card game where I had to date three other men?” I demanded. “Why did you do that if you’d already decided Jacob would be right for me?”
Mimi snorted. “For this very reason! We’d tell you all about Jacob and you’d give some stupid, lame excuse as to why you couldn’t date him.”
“Him being ten years younger than me isnota stupid, lame excuse,” I argued. “It’s a fact.”
Mimi waved her hand in the air, as if brushing aside my words. “You’re a fool if you don’t think every woman over the age of eighteen and under the age of one hundred isn’t jealous of you right now.”
“That’s a fact,” Ingrid said. “More than once I thought about taking you out with my Saxe so I could have a go at him.”
“So we decided to trick you,” Mimi said.
“Iknewit!” I cried. “You cheated that day!”
Mimi rolled her eyes. “I may have a deck of cards in my cache that are marked. I’m not admitting to anything, of course.”
I glared at Mom. “You knew about this and let it happen?”
Mom gave me a small smile. “Why wouldn’t I? I thought the girls were right. Jacob is right for you.”
“He’sten years younger!” I cried.
“Are you even listening to yourself?” Gilda asked. “That’s the only thing you can tell us when we ask for reasons why you can’t date him. He’s younger than you. Big whoopty doo. Men date younger women all the time.”
“It’s a little more socially acceptable,” I said.
“Age is a number,” Ingrid said. “Doesn’t mean a thing. It only mattered when you were twenty and he was ten.”
I winced. “Gross!”
“Exactly,” Ingrid said. “But he’s not ten and you’re far from twenty. So it’s no big deal.”
I dropped my head in my hand. “It’s a big deal to me.”
“Only to you,” Mom said gently. “And by making it such a big deal, you’re probably going to drive away the best thing that has happened to you in…well, in five years.”
A tear leaked out of my eye, and I brushed it away. “What about everything else? The dates?”
Mimi laughed an evil laugh. “We did that for pure torture. We set you up with the worst men possible near your age because we already knew going in age would be a factor for you. I’m sure those men are fine for other women, but not for you.”
I let out a small laugh. “Roger really was horrid. And Robert? Oh my gosh! That toupee! I think at one point the rug reached out and touched me.”
The girls broke into laughter.
“What about Jacob’s dates?” I asked. “They were all stunning.”
“We knew we’d need to be sly with that one,” Gilda admitted.
“So we decided to hit it straight on,” Mimi said. “We knew Francesca would scare him to death. She meets a man and the first thing she tells him is she wants to get married and have his babies.”
