“A woman who’s ten years older than you, has more baggage than you could possibly want in your life right now. A woman who has no desire to start a new family. A woman who…” I took a deep breath. “A woman who doesn’t look anything like you.”
His laugh was a little too forced.
“All I’m saying is what could I possibly offer you?” I rushed on. “I’m a good decade older, my body sags in more places than I care to admit, I have stretch marks that will never go away, and I can’t compete, nor do Iwantto compete, with the women half my age that must throw themselves at you continuously.”
Silence.
“You must not think very highly of me,” Jacob finally said.
The hardness in his voice caused me to flinch. “What?”
He narrowed his eyes and leaned in close. I tried not to squirm. “I mean you must think I’m pretty shallow if all I’m looking for in a woman is a perky body and—”
“I didn’t say that. I just said—”
“I heard what you said, Monica. So now hear this: I don’t want a perky twenty-something. What on earth would we have to talk about? I’ve seen more things in one day than she’d have seen in her lifetime. I’ve been more places—had more life experiences—than someone younger than me could ever understand. Hell,youcan’t even possibly comprehend some of the things I struggle with. So please don’t get on your high horse and tell me what I need. I know what I need.” He leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest. “I need you.”
I was stunned. Part of me embarrassed at having Jacob chew me out…the other part thrilled hearing him say he wanted me.
I swallowed past the lump in my throat. “Okay. Maybe not younger. But someone your own age could give you things I can’t. Like a family.” I blinked back tears that threatened to fall. “I’ve already raised my family, Jacob. I’m going to be forty-three in four months.”
Jacob was quiet for so long, I was afraid I’d finally gotten through to him. That our age difference was too great. That it would never work out between us.
“Again, you’re assuming you know what I want,” Jacob said. “One of the great things about being enlisted for all those years was the fact I could make the Army my excuse as to why I hadn’t married and had kids when my mom pushed. I’m sure your son is a great kid—he’d have to be from what I know of his momanddad.”
I smiled at his compliment. “Thanks for that. I like to think Travis would be proud of the way Brody turned out.”
“I’m a pretty resourceful guy, Monica. If I wanted to marry and have kids, I had plenty of opportunity over the years to do just that. But it’s not a road I ever saw myself traveling down.”
“Really?” I asked.
“I like kids, don’t get me wrong. I just never felt like I had to have my own. There are plenty of kids, teenagers, who need love in this world. And there are plenty of opportunities for me to fulfill that need. I could coach at a school, be a part of Big-Brother…endless possibilities. So please don’t pigeonhole me.”
“You’re right,” I said. “I’m sorry. I guess I was just finding excuses as to why youshouldn’tbe with me.”
He gave me another quick kiss on the mouth. “Well, don’t. Let’s meet out here for coffee in the morning before you start your busy day.”
I bit my lip. “Okay. Nine?”
“Nine.”
I walked into the kitchen and shook my head at Thor. Asleep on the floor. “It’s a good thing we weren’t burglars out there. We’d have gotten away with everything.”
Thor opened one eye, stared at me, then promptly went back to sleep.
Walking up the steps, I took out my phone and called Kieran. I needed to talk about what just happened.
“What’s up?” Kieran said. “Why are you calling me? Is he asleep in your bed? Was it good? Of course it was good. The boy is a demi-god, isn’t he?”
I chuckled. “Shut up.”
I quickly filled her in on our date, the serious discussion we’d just had, and the date for coffee the next morning.
She whistled. “This sounds serious.”
“I know.”
“What’re you thinking?”
