He turned, surprise then concern flicking across his face as he caught sight of her.
“Elowen. Is everything all right?”
“Yes.”
She came to a stop, catching her breath as they looked at each other from several feet away. Theo’s eyes scanned the corridor behind her, his expression hard to read as he comprehended that she was alone.
“I thought you were going to avoid leaving the banquet hall unaccompanied tonight,” he pointed out, his voice low and far too appealing.
“Plans can change,” Elowen said.
“Why…why did you follow me?”
His speech wasn’t as crisp as usual, and for some reason his hesitance made Elowen feel bolder. She moved forward, narrowing the distance between them until she was only a foot away.
“I needed to know.”
“Know what?” Theo asked cautiously.
“Why you changed your mind about choosing the kiss,” Elowen said, her voice quiet but not hesitant. “When you won the event. You had the right as victor to claim a kiss, and you were obviously inclined at first to exert your right. So why didn’t you?”
Theo’s brow furrowed, and he studied her face as if looking for a hidden message. “You didn’t want to kiss me in front of all those strangers,” he said. “And I’m not interested in a kiss I win by force.”
“Aren’t you?” Elowen demanded. Wasn’t their whole marriage won by force in a sense?
Theo looked more confused than ever, his blinks slow as his eyes roved over her face. He seemed even more affected by the wine now, but she knew he didn’t drink more than half a goblet.
“Of course not,” Theo said, his tone bewildered. “What kind of a man demands an artificial display of affection? What kind of a man would consider that a victory?”
Elowen swallowed, frightened by the sudden yearning rising in her. Was it so much talk of kissing that had her heart pounding, or was it the further evidence of his honor? Either way, what she was feeling was dangerous. It was too potent for an attachment that was unrequited. If she let herself grow to care too deeply for a husband who was trustworthy and respectful but emotionally indifferent to her, it would slowly rip her apart. But was he emotionally indifferent? She had to know.
She raised her eyes to his, and she could have sworn his gaze was on her lips before it darted up to meet hers.
“What if it wasn’t artificial?” she whispered. “I need to know, Theo. Do youwantto kiss me?”
His hand moved toward her in a jerky movement, then dropped.
“Don’t ask me what I want,” he said, his voice rougher now. “I can’t afford to want you.”
“What do you mean?” she demanded.
He gave a low groan, moving toward her without seeming to realize it. There were inches between them now. When he spoke, his voice was more ragged than she’d ever heard it.
“Your deal with your parents, Elowen, it’s going to destroy me. You want me to earn our marriage by proving I want it enough, but that’s exactly what I can’t do. If I want you too much, something bad will happen.”
Elowen’s heart had increased to double time, the unexpected vulnerability drawing her to him like a doomed moth. She searched his face, speaking softly.
“I know opening your heart to someone means opening yourself to the possibility of being hurt, but are you really so afraid to risk pain that you—”
“Not me, you!” Theo cut her off, his words vibrating with intensity. “Something bad will happen to you.”
Elowen frowned, confused. “I don’t understand.”
Theo seemed to be struggling as well, still looking dazed. “I don’t know how to explain it. I just know that everyone, from the kingdom to you, will be safer if my emotions don’t get tangled into it.”
Hesitantly, he lifted a hand, running the tips of his fingers over her temple and down the line of her jaw. It was a sensation she’d craved since he touched her chin that morning, and she closed her eyes, leaning into his touch. His voice dropped to a whisper.
“I can’t bear to see you hurt, Elowen. It’s my job to protect you, or it will be soon.”
