Then I felt guilty. She’d finally opened up to me, giving herself so freely, but I couldn’t tell her the truth. Not yet.
I arrive at the restaurant first, wearing that pressure on my shoulders.
Doing my best not to check the entrance every two seconds, I fiddle with the water glass in front of me. Smile at the waiter. Act like my insides are not chewing themselves apart.
Five minutes later, the hostess greets her and leads her in.
It’s the first time I’ve truly looked at Michelle like I would a date. The same mousy demeanor hangs on to her, barely masked by some makeup. She can hardly make eye contact when I rise to pull out her chair.
But I plaster on my most charming smile as I rise to greet her.
“Glad you could make it, Shells.”
“I have to admit,” she murmurs, tucking a strand behind her ear, “I was a bit surprised you asked me out.”
“We’ve known each other a long time.” I pull out her chair. “Finally worked up the nerve.”
Michelle blushes. “Oh… For a while, I thought you and Jackie—”
Don’t react. Push it all the way down, or this’ll never work.
“She’s my biggest client. It’s just business.” I drop my voice and glance sideways, like it’s a repugnant subject I’ve had to swallow too many times. “You know how it is, you don’t have to like the people you work with.”
She looks surprised, but she doesn’t take the bait.
Ironically, it feels like I’m cheating. And the worst part is, I have to make it look real.
I hate every second of the painful small talk I have to drag out of her. But each coy smile, every brush of my hand, draws her out a little more. And I keep going. I lean in, my fingers brushing hers. Pretend to laugh at the dull story about her high school trip to a power plant, like I’m not considering waterboarding her to be a better option.
All I can think about is another dinner. Another night.
Jackie’s laugh in the Venetian sun flashes in my mind. I wishshewere the one sitting across from me.
But instead, I’m sitting down for a “romantic” dinner, flirting with someone who should be behind bars right now, for threatening, sabotaging, and making Jackie live in fear for the past six months.
I push the bile down.
Something feral at the base of my brain screams at me to fix this through brute force. Shake the truth out of her. End this charade now. But Ruiz’s words burn a hole in my eardrums.“Don’t mess this up.”An hour ago, across the street, in a dim room smelling like dust and mold, a burly agent was pinning a small button to the breast pocket of my blazer, the round plastic a little heavier than it should’ve been.
“We small town folks have to stick together.”
“Yeah, it’s hard… around these people….” Her voice falters.
“I know exactly what you mean,” I assure her. “Acting like they own everyone. You don’t want to know how many times I wanted to throw Carter out the window in college.”
She giggles.
“The prick was always strutting around like he was better than the rest of us.” The lie flows smoothly. Mostly because I gave Carter a heads-up about what he was going to hear on the surveillance tapes.
In reality, he spent most of his college years studying in his room or the library.
“Sometimes I think it’s unfair, you know.”
I nod sympathetically. “That they got everything served to them on a platter, while people like you and me fought for every inch.”
Michelle drains her second glass of red wine, her cheeks blooming pink.
“I mean, they have so much money, and the stuff they’re working on in the labs…”
