And there it is again. The familiar burn of embarrassment. The same one that stung the first time I stepped onto Harvard’s campus. A different world, in which everybody seemed to speak another language. There was a code I didn’t know how to break. It bled into the way students dressed, the way they carried themselves, like they never once second-guessed their right to be there.
It took me a long time to learn how not to be the odd one out.
But I guess Jackie still sees me that way. Like I don’t belong.
“This place was worth putting on real pants for,” Martha cuts in cheerfully. “Remember our anniversary here, twenty years ago?” She turns to Sam. “First and last time I ever saw a Broadway play. Then we had that chicken parm around the corner. I thoughtthatwas fancy.”
Her husband’s mustache bristles with a smile. “Back then you could walk into a place and tell what kind of night you were about to have just by the smell.”
“Surprised you could smell anything,” Kenneth, Carter’s uncle, says, laughing, his sunburned face creasing. “That was back when everyone smoked inside and you could’ve cut the air with a saw.”
His blonde, kind-faced wife arches a brow. “Did you forget why I turned you down over a hundred times after high school?”
He leans back, tugging at the old-fashioned jacket he probably wears at all the weddings, mouth clamped ruefully.
Clara’s graceful voice clears it up. “He smoked like a chimney. Smelled dreadful. No wonder poor Linda wouldn’t touch him with a ten-foot pole until he quit.”
The table fills with laughter. At the head, Carter and Eliza lean together, heads touching, watching it all with quiet happiness at their blended family. Blood or not.
The main course arrives, thank God, and I latch onto the moment like a lifeline. The nutty scent of butter melting over lobster reaches me even before the waiter places the neat plate in front of me.
“Jackie,” Eliza coos, hands clasped as she admires her carefully arranged claw and knuckle meat in the toasted homemade roll.
“Itisyour engagement dinner?” Jackie says, leaning in for a better view before flashing her future sister-in-law a wide grin. “Tell me if it’s better than Carter’s.”
He rolls his eyes at his sister’s antics, but Eliza turns and gives him a quick kiss. “Nothing compares to you, darling.”
The whole tableawwsin unison.
I catch Jackie’s smile, eyes gone just a little glassy.
And truly, what better way to shake myself out of this pathetic pining than to annoy her even more? It’s my go-to survival mechanism when it comes to her.
I reach out with my fork and take a bite of lobster from my date’s plate. “Just making sure it’s not poisoned. Can’t be too careful,” I say with a wink.
Alexandra arches an eyebrow. “What a weird thing to say. Who’d poison my food? It’s a three-star Michelin restaurant.”
I wave her off, glancing at Jackie before I can stop myself. That used to beourthing. An inside joke from when we used to sneak out to dinner.
“Just making sure it’s not poisoned. You can never be too careful.”
“How selfless of you.” Jackie grinned at me and kissed my nose. “And courageous.” Another kiss on the jaw. “My protector.” She kissed my lips, and I was left smiling like a lovesick fool.
Now, Jackie looks like she’s been struck, and the bottom of my stomach hollows out. I crossed the line with that one.
She recovers quickly and dives into a detailed discussion about the proper way to deliver a foal with her uncle, who’s more than thrilled to explain everything to her. Much to his wife’s annoyance, who keeps elbowing him.
Jackie is a pro at putting on whatever mask the world needs her to wear.
Alexandra squeezes my arm and pecks me on the cheek, reminding me yet again that I’m doing a shit job as her date tonight. “Be right back. Need to freshen up.”
Once she’s out of earshot, Jackie doesn’t miss the chance to pounce, leaning toward me over the table.
“This dinner was meant to be for family and close friends,” she says through her teeth, careful not to draw attention.
“I’m feeling rather close to Alexandra tonight,” I shoot back. “Why wouldn’t I bring her?”
“Close family and friends include your flavor of the day?”
