I keep staring at the lining of the empty luggage, clutching two dresses to my chest. The explosion at the office was bad enough. But the minutes I spent curled on the floor of the car, heart slamming in my chest, still crawl under my skin.
I’m a realist. The only logical reason to grab me would be ransom. At least I have insurance for that. But how far are they willing to go?
Would it be easier for everyone if I just left for London? That way I’d be farther away from the office…and my family.
I slump on the edge of the bed, head in my hands. Maybe after Venice, I just fly directly to England. And stay gone. My room in Carter’s penthouse is too quiet. Almost empty. The pressure in my chest swells again, pushing outward. It’s relentless and sharp, my hands turning clammy as my breath stutters.
Everyone’s been keeping me busy, filling my days to the point I don’t have time to overthink what happened. Brunch with Mom, a trip to Italy. All to distract me from the fact that two days ago, somebody was chasing me down a public road.
I want to talk to somebody who won’t sugarcoat it. Or treat me with kid gloves.
“Jackie, darling.”
His voice is deep, familiarly warm, making my throat close instantly.
The tension snaps, my breathing coming out in short, broken bursts, the bridge of my nose burning.
“Hello?” he calls. “Did you pocket dial me?”
It takes everything I have to push the words out. “Does the offer still stand?”
Then the dam breaks, and I start sobbing uncontrollably, tears streaming down my face, breath hitching so hard it hurts.
“Oh, my dear,” Cecil murmurs. “That won’t do.”
“I’m sorry, I—” But I can’t finish the sentence.
“Poppet, breathe.” I hear him inhale and exhale on the other end. “Just like that.”
I follow along, shaking and sniffing. “I think,” I manage, voice warped and uneven, “I should disappear. Maybe hide at the manor for a while?”
Cecil’s family estate is an actual castle, with endless gardens, passed down through the line of firstborns. I’ve always loved going down to the stables and treating the ponies, Dottie and Lottie, with some apples.
“Listen. You can always come here,” he says. “Damn, I hate to point it out, because I miss you. But don’t make decisions out of fear masked as responsibility. It will eat you alive when it’s all over.” He pauses. “This will pass. It might not be pleasant. But itwillpass. I promise.”
I slide down to the floor, back resting against the bed frame, fingers raking through my hair.
“It feels endless,’ I say hoarsely. “It keeps coming.”
“I know it feels like your entire world is falling apart. But I also know you. And how you keep yourself together. I know you can handle it.” He sighs, and I hear the creak of the leather as he settles into his favorite chair. “It’s acceptable to want to give up. You’re allowed to be shaken. Just not defeated. Nothing so far is beyond repair.”
“But what if something irreparable happens?”
“You can’t mourn what hasn’t happened yet,” he says simply. “Take a deep breath and keep moving forward. I’ve always admired how you strive to be a better person every day. Keep doing that. You have the upper hand. Resources and a whole team behind you.”
My heartbeat slows, the vice on my lungs loosening. “That’s true.”
“You’ll always be welcomed, darling. But you’d already be here if you wanted to be,” he adds, the deep understanding of how I think shining through.
I needed a good pep talk from Cecil to realize I’d let panic overwhelm me. The offices and labs are secured better than the Pentagon. Our family has round-the-clock security.
“Does it ever get tiring,” I ask weakly, “being this wise and all-knowing all the time?”
“It’s a burden I carry with great responsibility.” A yawn slips through.
“Oh, God. I’m sorry. I was in such a state of panic, I didn’t think it was the middle of the night there.”
“I’m most honored you called. It’s fine, William should be landing any minute. Heard he had a great time with you in Maine.”
