Pushed forward by need, but held back by doubt, I’m rooted in place, admiring Eliza’s body as she relaxes.
“Talk to me, Carter.” It’s hard to wrap my head around the ease with which she reads me.
I rub my jaw, pushing the words out. “Considering calling it a night while I’m ahead.”
A flicker of hurt glosses over her dazed eyes before she says, “Don’t you want me?”
I’m messing this up for both of us. I prop my knees on the edge of the mattress, making my way above her, until my lips find the sweet spot on the side of her neck. “There’snothing I crave more at this moment,” I confess into her skin. This next part hurts to say, but she deserves the truth. “I don’t know if I can. If you end up disappointed, it will kill my ego.”
I expect her to make fun of me, but I should know better by now.
She outlines the edges of my jaw with her thumbs, forcing me to look at her. “You have enough ego to spare,” she smirks. “I don’t want to push if you’re not ready, but—” Her legs wrap around me and she presses me into her, the small roll of her hips bringing us so close, rubbing against me. My vision goes black for a second.
“This ache I have,” Eliza moans. “It’s painful. Only you can soothe it,” she says, reaching for the button of my trousers. What a gift she gives out freely. Her trust and want crumble my insecurities to dust. Whatever happens, she won’t judge me.
I answer with a deep kiss, threading my fingers through her hair, and angling her mouth so I can have more of her.
Her delicate fingers wrap around me and she whispers in my ear, “I’m on birth control.”
I’m so lost in the thought of feeling her bare, using a condom doesn’t even cross my mind. Layers of resistance peel back until I take what I thought I couldn’t. The rest of our clothes are thrown somewhere in the corner, and I let this hunger for her consume me, surrounded by Eliza’s scent and the smell of starch from the crisp sheets. Her soft curves are welcoming when I press down on her.
Eliza’s heated sighs urge me on. With one hand I shackle her wrists over her head and with the other I slidemyself over her center until a string of incoherent pleases leave her wet mouth.
The first thrust leaves me euphoric. I pull out and slide in again, slow and steady until her breath quickens.
I want to pace myself; it’s been so long, and she is perfect, but she opens her legs wider and digs her heels in my backside, asking for more.
“You’re so fucking perfect,” I murmur between her lips. Her exhale is my inhale, and it clouds my brain like a drug.
My name comes out in pieces, broken by little moans. Ember eyes shine under the silvery light coming through the window. “You feel so good,” Eliza croaks.
We find a rhythm of push and resistance set by the need to be closer, to match the furious thumping of our hearts. She thrashes under my hold, harsh wails of pleasure she fights to hold trapped behind pressed lips.
I slow my movements to catch her attention. “None of that, kitten. Don’t hide it from me.” I bottom out with a sharp thrust, and she clenches her jaw. “I want to hear you.” Another slow drag, making her back arch. I repeat the motion and she finally gives me what I want. A loud moan which shoots through my spine and increases the pressure in my lower abdomen.
“That’s my good girl.” I slide my arm under her back and pull her to my chest, swallowing her gasp. With her wrapped around me, I move to the end of the bed, propping her against the metal headboard.
“Hold on to the rail,” the words scratch the inside of my throat. I’m so close, but I want more of her.
Her arms stretch along the bar and her palms wrap around the chipped-painted frame, which puts her breastson full display for me. Still on my lap, I spread her wider and push back in, the old bed creaking under us.
Her walls are pulsing around me, and I’m deliriously lost in the feeling, surrounded by her sweet smell and whimpers. It consumes me, pulling at every nerve ending.
“Touch me,” she moans as I press her into the bedrail with a steady cadence, sliding my hand between us.
I reach the spot where our bodies meet and draw lazy circles, adding more pressure with each swipe until she cries out. Her messy hair, head thrown back, the melody of our bodies coming together. It’s too much. My muscles strain until the tension in my body snaps with a hoarse shout and I have to steady myself against the headboard.
Her arms clasp around me and we’re both panting, my pulse erratic.
Eliza’s words are muffled against my chest. “If that was you afraid to disappoint me,” she exhales, spent, “I don’t know if I could handle confident Carter.”
I let out a sharp laugh. I should be worried I’m in no rush to roll over and leave. Maybe it’s the fact it’s the first time I’ve had sex since ending up in the hospital, but it felt different. Not just a way to relieve tension.
Coming down from our high, she’s sober and apprehensive, although I haven’t moved, and her walls still pulse around me.
It’s supposed to be a reassuring peck, but our lips start moving together. Without urgency but unwilling to let the thread connecting us snap.
We exchanged touches and secrets in the dark. When she asks me about my life the words come easy. She is a fragile wisp of light I want to push against my sternum until it warms mefrom the inside.
