The last hours did nothing to improve my mood. The jog was a temporary fix for my current problem. What am I supposed to do out here?
“You don’t need to wash them.”
Eliza reaches for the dishes I’ve been scrubbing mindlessly in the sink and I frown.
“Men don’t like doing this kind of thing,” she tries again. “It’s no problem, I can—”
The words are out before I can stop to think better of it. “You couldn’t possibly imagine what a man like me likes.”
She’s red in the face and lost for words.
“What kind of man were you living with before, anyway?” I snap at her, unable to temper my annoyance.
“I just wanted to help,” she stammers.
“Of course.” I can’t help the sarcasm dripping off my words. “I’m not an invalid. Don’t need you or anybody babying me.” I know she’s not the true source of my issues, but I can’t stop.
“I’m not doubting your ability to do the dishes,” Eliza says, looking at me, worried. “We have a deal, remember? I stay here and help you, in exchange?”
She’s holding up her end of the bargain and I’m taking my frustration out on her.
“I want to be decent here and you’re making it very hard,” she presses on calmly.
My aggravation balloons. “Don’t bother. I got it covered.”
She keeps staring at me with those big brown eyes and I need space. “You can go.”
Eliza turns on her heels and heads for the bedroom without another word and I hate myself. I deflate, the anger pouring out leaving me empty, tired, and guilt-ridden.
Her being a decent person irrationally gets on my nerves.
At dinner, she doesn’t come out. I’m too proud to go knocking at her door, despite the nagging inkling she hasn’t eaten anything today.
She’s probably waiting for me to go to bed so she can have her dinner in peace.
Chapter Seven
ELIZA
With each scroll through the jobs listed in the area, my insides clench harder. The need to be financially stable is deeply rooted in my bones after growing up in the system. Every day without a job makes me slowly slide into survival mode. Back to when I was little and some of the families didn’t bother to feed their foster kids. I’ve learned to get by with almost nothing whenever my life is unstable. It’s the one thing I can control when everything else is off the rails.
All kinds of dark scenarios play through my head and before I drive myself crazy I decide it would be more productive to catch the bus to the store, chipping away at the list of necessities and deciding what I can do without. It’s also a good reason to stay out of Carter’s way.
Some of the money from the rental will go into getting him groceries. I’m going to keep my end of the deal whether he likes it or not. The rest goes into saving as much as I can. Who knows when I’ll be able to get another job?
I’ll use every penny to make the small cabin livable. There’s no way in hell I can continue to be roommateswith Carter for much longer.
For one, I can better manage on my own, and adapt my spending so I can survive. Plus, it’s mentally exhausting to constantly pretend I’m not spiraling out of control. It’s becoming increasingly difficult to share the space with him. He’s incredibly attractive and the way he looks at me stirs something inside me that I don’t want to explore.
Luckily, he’s a massive dick.
Rounding the aisle, I bump into the person I least want to see right now besides Jared. His mother.
“Oh, Eliza.” She looks like she hates this encounter more than I do. “How have you been?”
“How have I been?” I can’t avoid the slight pitch in my voice.
Mary checks the price on a nearby shelf with an uncomfortable grimace, afraid I’ll make a scene. She knows, I’m sure. And that’s her reaction. I didn’t expect much from her. To say she barely tolerated me is an understatement. She never missed an opportunity to express her disapproval. In her book, I’m unreliable because I have no family, no roots. My food was bad. My house never met her standards of cleanliness.
