“Should you be?” he asks cautiously.
“I am healthy, my brain is intact,” I snap. “I’m taking care of myself, why wouldn’t I be?”
Out of everyone, I didn’t expect him to doubt me.
“That’s not what I mean,” he placates me, and the burst of anger cools off. “Your mind seems to be somewhere else.” Joseph taps his index on the table, hesitating. “With someone else.”
My eyes cut sharply to his. My first instinct is to protect her. Keep her away from this world, but Joseph is not one to do anything that would hurt me or the family.
“Did you talk to my mother?”
His small smile is confirmation enough. He always does that when somebody mentions her. Something he keeps only for himself. His precious little secret. I don’t know how I didn’t figure this out earlier. I wonder how long he has been harboring these feelings. Does she know? Does she love him too?
“She wants you to be happy and have the future you deserve.”
“My future is this company,” I parrot my father for the thousandth time.
“Your future is not written in stone because you’re Angus Rawlings’ son.” He clasps his fingers over his knee. “The only way to know what’s in store for you is by making your own choices.”
I let Joseph see my weak spot. “I can’t abandon Jackie and my mother.”
After my father died, the thought of letting somebody else step in didn’t even cross my mind. It became my life, my duty, afraid I would disappoint him even beyond the grave.
“I know you feel responsible, but you’re working under the assumption that these women can’t hold their own. Your sister would be disappointed to hear you doubting her after over half a year of running the company in your place.”
I falter. “I didn’t mean—”
“Do you trust them?”
“Yes, of course.”
“Then stop obsessing over protecting them. They’re financially secure. Jackie could start her own successful business if you don’t allow her to thrive here. The reason she hasn’t done it by now is because she sees you putting in sweat and blood here and doesn’t want to leave you drowning.”
“I know what she did these months. She handled some situations better than I would have. But I don’t want to leave this burden on her just because she can handle it.”
“Did you talk to Jackie about it?”
I groan and throw him a look.
“You young people see things too much in black and white. Do I have to spell it out for you or are you just finding excuses to hide in your tower?”
“I’m not hiding.” I bristle.
Joseph waves a large hand, his expensive watch shining in the evening’s warm light. “When we were young, our office was the command center. Now?” He pulls out his foldable last-generation smartphone and brandishes it at me. “It’s ridiculous that we’re even having this conversation. So, yes. You’re hiding from real life and using the office as a fortress.”
He lets the words slowly sink in through the wall that protects my rationalization process. His eyes soften and he rests his forearms on the table, asking his question with caution. “What would you want to do? If you managed to free yourself from this glass cage you’ve built?”
“I haven’t let my mind wander too far from this place,” I confess, since from the moment I was born there were no other options for me.
Until now.
“Your father’s ghost is not haunting you. You’re the one chasing it.”
On his way to the door, his heavy hand lands on my shoulder but this fatherly gesture and support are too much.
“Dead men don’t have opinions, son.”
Chapter Thirty-Seven
