Chapter One
ELIZA
The kiss cam pans over the frenzied crowd, stopping on a couple making out, and my world shatters.
Drinking a pint of battery acid would be less painful than seeing my boyfriend on the jumbotron, locked in a passionate kiss with one of my best friends. He’s cupping her face, a soft stroke of his thumb caressing her cheekbone, and my insides freeze.
The bar’s game-night buzz fades into a deafening blanket of white noise, and I’m in a trance, physically incapable of looking away from the large TV hanging above the rows of hard liquor.
The reality around me slowly dissolves. The vintage posters and photos melt into a jumbled mess of colors and the hardwood floor sinks under me, swallowing my chair.
Jared and Caroline are lost in their searing kiss, oblivious to the stadium cheering them on. For me, it’s an out-of-body experience. He’s now tenderly cradling the back of her head with those hands I’m so familiar with and she’s fisting the blue shirtIironed for his trip, while my stomach drops to the sticky wooden floor.
The cold lemonade glass slowly slips from my palms, hitting the worn table with a resounding thud. It bringsme back, my surroundings snapping back into focus, but something is off. An eerie silence has settled over the usually bustling sports bar. A stillness now coats every corner of Old Halson’s, and only the faint sound of the TV is audible.
Familiar faces are crowded into the faded red leather booths and around tall tables, staring at me, drinks and hot wings forgotten.
I’m mortified and frozen on the wobbly stool, heart beating erratically in my throat. The weight of the situation hits me like a hailstorm of hammers.
Jared and I were talking about getting married. Kids, someday. And I thought Caroline was my friend. My brain scrambles to make sense of what I just saw but doubt and confusion sharpen the betrayal that’s slicing my chest open.
And it hurts.
My body doesn’t need to wait for my mind to catch up. I focus on my hands as they tremble, a subtle quiver against the smooth wood. The irregular drumming of my heart intensifies, making me dizzy and disoriented. Confusion leads to fear, frost running through my veins. Then the familiar burn of shame spreads through every fiber, making me wish the ground would swallow me whole.
A woman’s voice reaches me from a neighboring table. “Was that—”
“Shh!”
“Poor Eliza.” The voice is familiar, but I don’t have the mental strength to put a face on it.
A callused palm cups my elbow, and I’m reminded I’m not alone. My dazed, tear-filled eyes find Sam, hiswhite eyebrows scrunched in worry and irritation. He dragged me out tonight after his wife found out I’d be alone for a week. They weren’t keen on spending time with Jared and jumped at any chance to meet whenever he left town. This was supposed to be a fun night out with a good friend. How did it turn into the end of my life as I’ve known it for the last eight years?
“Let’s get out of here, kid.” Sam’s voice is low and cautious.
I cling to his words like a lifeline, so I won’t crumble in the middle of Old Halson’s. It’s a small town, so these people are up-to-date on the story of my childhood. I don’t want to feed them even more gossip.
I follow him out without a second thought. Not that my brain is capable of any rational thought. It’s stuck on the image of my boyfriend on TV, replaying on a loop.
I welcome the chilly April air filling my lungs and cooling my skin. The moment we’re out of the bar, gossip erupts behind the closing door, and I half expect the people milling around the main street to bombard me with questions.
“Come on. They’ll find out soon enough.” Sam points to the passers-by with his chin.
He’s right. No one escapes the Silver Lake Falls gossip mill. I should enjoy the lack of whispers and side eyes while I can. I’ve gone through this once before and the moment the group chats activate, I’ll have to avoid most places in town.
Walking in silence to Sam’s truck helps me clear my head and I start planning, making lists, anything to keepmy mind off the hurt and nausea shredding my insides, and the future I had dreamed about being shattered on live TV.
“Martha’s waiting for us,” he says, rounding the corner to the back of the red brick building where he usually parks his car. He’s sneaking wary glances my way, and guilt gnaws at my insides for making him worry.
“I need to pack,” I realize. “And Jared took my car yesterday.” I’d given him my precious truck because he kept complaining about the company sending him by train. The car isn’t new or expensive, but it was the first one I could afford after saving for years. The first thing I owned, in my name. Humiliation and anger heat the back of my neck.
I mumble as I force myself to put one foot in front of the other, thinking out loud, but Sam interrupts me, his bushy eyebrows drawn together.
“I’ll drive you home first. We’ll get your stuff. You don’t have to stay at your apartment.” Sam’s fatherly concern tears me up, and I clear my throat to dislodge the embarrassing knot. I can’t have a breakdown yet.
Going back home is the last thing I want. There’s no way in hell I’ll wait five days for him to get home, surrounded by his things, being reminded of the life I worked so hard to build. I wish I could leave it all behind but I’m in no position to give up basic necessities. I couldn’t afford it.
“It won’t be long,” I promise.
