‘Now you really have me confused. Is there something — or someone — stopping you?’
‘Only me, and my good sense.’
‘And why would your good sense not allow you to have dinner with me?’
Silence followed his question. Her face was still. Only her eyes betrayed her, as they searched his face, as if she’d find an answer there.
‘I’m an OK person, you know.’ He forced a smile. ‘My Mum will vouch for me.’
Her face relaxed into a brief smile. ‘I know you are a good man, Daniel. I don’t doubt that. But please accept my decision.’
‘Of course,’ he said hurriedly, suddenly concerned that Augi thought he was harassing her. ‘I’m sorry. It’s just that…’ He turned away and shook his head. How could he say that he couldn’t believe he’d invented this connection he felt between them? That the feelings were all on his side. But his previous experience had shaken his faith in his own instincts. ‘I’m sorry,’ he said.
He looked down. He realised he was still holding the book. She touched his hand. He looked up into a gently smiling face, as she took the book from him. ‘I’m guessing you don’t want to borrow that?’
He glanced down at it. Keto. He looked up. ‘You guessed right.’
His spirits plummeted. So this was it. There was nothing left for him here, with her, and he couldn’t quite believe it. He forced a quick smile and then twisted away, looking up at the house which sat on the hill opposite the library, the windows glinting in the light.
‘I’ve always liked that house,’ he said. ‘When I was a kid, I thought I’d own it one day.’
‘It’s my favourite house,’ said Augi. ‘But I never imagine I’ll own it.’
‘Why?’
‘Because I’m a realist.’
He grunted a laugh. ‘And I’m not?’
‘No,’ she said her smile dropping again. ‘I believe you’re an idealist.’
His smile faded too. ‘An idealist? Someone with no notion of the reality of the world around him?’
She nodded.
‘Maybe once,’ he said.
‘Still, I think.’
A vision of how he saw Augi — a staunch, upright defender of moral good — filled his mind. Maybe he was right. Maybe he still was that idealist. ‘Is that something to hold against me?’
‘No. It’s something to cherish. Because once lost, it’s hard, if not impossible, to recover.’
He wanted to know why, when everything else about her was saying the opposite, that she refused to have dinner with him. But he couldn’t. He didn’t want to come across as a stalker, someone who couldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer, so instead he smiled and nodded, opened his mouth to speak, but couldn’t think of anything so held up a hand in a sign of farewell and stepped away.
He didn’t get very far before she spoke and he stopped in his tracks.
‘Daniel,’ said Augi quietly.
He turned to her. ‘Yes?’
‘You said once that you hate secretive people.’
He nodded, remembering the conversation.
‘I’m a secretive person. By necessity. I don’t know exactly what Kate told you but it can’t be everything.’
‘Why not?’
