"She’s probably just… looking for something," I try, though even as the words leave my mouth, they sound like a lie.
"No, you don’t get it," Jasper snaps sharply. "Last timeshe went in there, I found her on the bathroom floor. Barely breathing."
I whirl on him, my eyes wide. "What?"
"She had a panic attack," he says, voice softening but still thick with frustration. "Brooks was here. We got her water, had her breathe into a bag."
"You should have called me!" I shout.
"She was fine!" Jasper argues, but his tone is defensive now, like he knows fine is a lie. He runs both hands through his hair again, tugging at it like he might rip it out. "Brooks handled it."
Brooks. Always Brooks.
I draw in a sharp breath and step up to the door, planting both hands against it.
"Mom!" I yell, sharp and cutting now. "Open the door! Please, talk to us!"
No response. Just more rustling, a creak of floorboards, like she’s moving around aimlessly.
Jasper leans against the opposite wall, his shoulders hunched like the weight of it all is draining the life out of him.
"She never goes in there," he says again, softer this time. His eyes are glassy, distant. "Not since Dad went to the hospital."
I press my forehead to the door, willing her to answer.
"Mom, please," I whisper. "Just let us know you’re okay."
Still nothing.
I glance over my shoulder at Jasper. "What if she’s…" I can't finish the thought.
Jasper shakes his head, but there’s fear in his eyes now. "I don’t know."
I swallow hard, suddenly wishing Brookswashere, because he’s the only one who’s ever been able to calm Mom down.
But he’s not.
It’s just us.
And I realize, as I press my palm to that closed door, we’re not kids anymore. There’s no one else coming to fix this.
It’s us.
And I’m not sure we’re enough.
"Have you ever kicked in a door?" I ask Jasper, eyeing the stubborn wood like it’s the enemy.
He shakes his head, wide-eyed. "Nope."
I roll my shoulders back, steeling myself. "Stand back."
Jasper takes a half step to the side, and I take a deep breath, bracing like every movie hero I’ve ever watched. This is it. Time to be the strong one.
I raise my leg and slam my foot against the door.
Nothing happens except a sharp, radiating pain that shoots straight up my leg.
"Ah!" I hiss, limping back a step and gripping the doorframe for balance.
