Grief settles heavy in my chest. Everything in me aches for the easy love we once had. Simple, light, happy.
But that time is long gone. We’re both very different people now, and I know, logically, that I need to give her time to adjust to her new life. Hopefully with time, she’ll learn to love being my baby as much as she once loved being my girl. Maybe then we can get some of what we lost back.
If not, well… She doesn’t need to be happy, as long as she’s safe. And she’s safest here with me.
“Since you asked nicely,” I tell her as I roll off her to stand beside the bed. “Come on. Let’s get you into some clean clothes so you can go play with Lanie.”
Pushing herself up to sit on the edge of the bed, she tilts her nose in the air in that stubborn way that’s always made my palm itch. “I can dress myself.”
“Maybe. But that’s Daddy’s job now.” The best thing I can imagine for her right now is to be completely subjected to my ownership. Allowing her even a small bit of independence could completely undermine our new dynamic, which will only make it harder for her to accept that she is now, and for the rest of her life, my baby.
So I ignore her protests as I scoop her up into my arms and carry her into the en suite bathroom my bedroom shares with her nursery. Setting her on the closed toilet seat lid, I run the water until it turns warm enough for me to wet a washcloth and wipe her face clean. Gray already removed the tiara, but her braids are a mess from her nap, so I unpin them and brush her hair before splitting the long strands into two ponytails. I’ll haveto get Gray to teach me how to do those complicated braids Axel does for Lanie, but for now, the pigtails work and are rather fucking adorable if I do say so myself.
“We’re going to have to have your Uncle Max send some new clothes,” I tell her as I carry her back to my bedroom. “In the meantime, I think Lanie might have some things you can borrow.”
“There is no way her clothes are going to fit me. I’m too fat.”
Out in the hallway, I pause, taking note of the bitterness in her voice. “You’re absolutely perfect, little bug.”
A blush blooms on her cheeks and for the first time I catch a real glimpse of the girl she once was. The girl I fell in love with, and never stopped loving, even when we had to leave her behind. “I’m not perfect.”
“You are. But if you’d be more comfortable in one of Daddy’s t-shirts for now, you can wear that instead.”
As I’d hoped, her eyes light up at the suggestion. She always did love stealing my clothes, which were far too big for her. Latching onto that excitement, I do an about-face and head back into my bedroom. Setting her on the bed, I pull out a t-shirt Colt picked up for me on his last trip to Vegas, along with a pair of thick socks. Josie doesn’t protest as I dress her, which I consider progress.
My shirt clings to her curves more than Axel’s ever did with Lanie’s and I realize she might be right about Lanie’s clothes not fitting her. As Josie has said more than once, a lot has changed in the last twenty years, and my girl has filled out. Now she’s all full, lush curves and dimpled thighs.
And I cannot wait to explore every inch of her body, to take in all those differences and worship the woman she’s become.
Because I’m drinking in the sight of her, I catch the small smile that curves her lips before she catches herself and fixes her face into that carefully blank expression from before.
That’s fine. Let her try and keep her secrets. She’ll learn soon enough that there is nowhere, not even in her own mind, where she can hide from her Daddy.
Josie
God help me, there is something so comforting about wearing one of Daddy’s shirts. I’ve put on weight over the years, but he’s put on even more muscles, so they still give me that cozy, cuddly feeling I remember. It’s hard to focus on the fact I’m supposed to hate him when I’m wrapped up in his shirt, my hair in pigtails and big fluffy socks on my feet.
And when he plucks me off the bed again with that easy strength that sends my heart racing, it’s all I can do not to cuddle right into him. All I want is to be that girl again, safe and comforted in my man’s arms.
Is that really so bad?
Yes. Yes, it is really so bad. You aren’t that girl anymore and he sure as hell isn't that boy. He faked his own death, remember? Let you grieve him and his whole family for twenty fucking years.
Right. Regardless of how cute and cozy I’m feeling at the moment, I have to remember this isn’t permanent. It can’t be. There’s too much between us, too much pain for us to simply pick up where we left off.
Those thoughts and more swirl in my brain as he carries me downstairs to the living room. It’s been rearranged, back to itsoriginal setup instead of the “wedding” configuration. Seated in the middle of the floor in a pair of adorable overalls rather than the pretty blue dress she was wearing earlier, is Lanie. She looks up when Daddy bends down to put me on the floor beside her, a wide smile spreading across her face.
“Josie!” she squeals, throwing herself bodily at me, her arms wrapping around my neck. “I missed you! I was worried Uncle Bram was going to keep you locked upstairsallday.”
A low chuckle pulls my attention up to the man seated on the couch behind her, such affection in his dark eyes it knocks the air clean from my lungs. “She was only gone for an hour, little runaway, and you were napping for most of that.”
“It wasforever, Daddy,” Lanie insists dramatically.
“Well, she’s here now, so why don’t you two find a game to play. But stay inside, it’s too cold to go outside today.”
“Aw, but?—”
“Melanie.”
