It was all so senseless and unfair.
"We should move on," Kelly said abruptly, shifting the car back into drive. "The bus stop is just a few blocks away."
She could feel Ben watching her, but not in that uncomfortable, pitying way. She didn’t know why he seemed to understand, but he did. This wasn't just about finding a killer, but about navigating a landscape of memories she'd tried and failed to leave behind. She was still a hostage to her past, and she couldn’t move forward until it was resolved.
The bus stop was located on the corner of Elm and Third, a simple metal bench beneath a weathered plastic shelter. Kelly parked along the curb and killed the engine this time, staring at the spot where Lori should have waited that Saturday morning to catch the 11:15 to the mall where Kelly and their other friends had been waiting.
"She never made it this far," Kelly said, reaching into the back seat for the case file. "At least, not according to the official timeline. The regular bus driver said she never got on the bus."
"Here," she said, flipping through until she found the photos she wanted. "These were taken supposedly two days after Lori disappeared, when the police finally started treating it as more than just a teenager who ran off.”
Her tone sounded bitter because she was bitter. Perhaps if they’d investigated right away, Lori might have been found before she died. Of course, she couldn’t say that for sure, but the cops waiting hadn’t helped.
"I know this is hard for you," Ben said, his voice quiet. "Being back here, seeing these places. I know that it takes courage to face something like this head-on. I’m glad I’m here to help you. This is important."
His words touched Kelly in a way she hadn't expected. Most people in her life had either dismissed her pursuit of justice for Lori as obsessive or had indulged it as a phase she'd eventually outgrow. She’d never had anyone to share the burden with before.
"I'm okay," she said, and this time it wasn't entirely a lie. "I need to do this. For Lori. For myself."
"Where next?" he asked with a nod.
Taking a deep breath, she hardened herself for what would undoubtedly be the hardest stop of all. She hadn’t gone there since Lori had been found. She’d never even driven past that location, always finding an alternate route.
"The ditch where they found her. It's about fifteen minutes outside of town."
The drive was short, and her hands were visibly shaking when she pulled onto the shoulder of County Road 17, and she cut the engine. There was a buzzing noise in her ears, and for a moment, she thought she might be physically ill. Her stomach had tied itself into a tight knot, and there was bile at the back of her throat.
“I don’t know if I can do this.”
Kelly didn’t even recognize her own voice, and she certainly hadn’t planned on saying those words out loud.
It was all fields out here, whether corn, soybeans, or cows. When Lori’s body had been found, it was after the harvest, and the fields were bare.
Her hands remained frozen on the steering wheel, her eyes fixed on the drainage ditch that ran parallel to the road right next to where they'd parked.
“You don’t have to do this. We can come back another day.”
“There won’t be another day. If I don’t do it now, I know I won’t do it. Plus, we don’t have much time. We’re not in town for long.”
She’d been to other body dump sites for her podcast, but then, she’d never known those victims. It was different when it was someone she cared about.
"This is where they found her. In this ditch. I think the killer put her there because all the corn was gone and people wouldn’t easily spot her."
Ben didn't immediately respond, his gaze moving methodically across the landscape, taking in the field, the road, the distance to any nearby structures.
Kelly knew what he was doing, assessing the scene, creating a mental map of what happened and how. She'd done the same countless times over the years, both in her nightmares and during her waking hours.
But never actually right here.
"Ready?" Ben asked gently.
No, she wasn't ready. Would never be ready. But she nodded anyway, reaching for the door handle. His hand stayed her movements, warm and comforting. As much as she thought of herself as a strong, independent woman, she had to admit that she couldn’t have done this today without him. She wouldn’t have had the strength to be here alone.
“No, but let’s do this anyway.”
She tried to muster some semblance of a smile for him, although it probably didn’t come out nearly as cheery as she'd hoped.
“If you want to leave, just tell me. I’ll drive us back to the condo.”
