Brooks wrapped his arms around me and pulled me back against him. We sat like that until the clawfoot tub was full enough and I shut off the water.
The faucet dripped for a few moments and then stopped.
Silence filled the small, steamy room, but I remained quiet, even when the tension swelled to a breaking point.
“You were a virgin.”
It sounded like an accusation.
“Yes,” I croaked out.
“Why the hell didn’t you tell me? I could’ve done things differently.”
I looked at him over my shoulder. “I didn’t want you to treat me like a virgin. That’s not what I wanted.”
He brushed my hair off my shoulder to reveal my skin. Brooks pressed his lips there.
“You’re upset,” I said.
“Upset is the wrong word.”
“Then what?—”
“You didn’t let me get a condom,” he said quietly. “You should always be thinking of your own protection. I could’ve been carrying something.”
I let out a squeak.
“I’m not,” he assured me quickly. “But fuck, woman.”
I nibbled on my lip. “I know. I know it was foolish and stupid and—and hedonistic. But I couldn’t stop, Brooks. I didn’twantto stop.”
He grabbed the soap from the recessed shower niche and began making a lather.
“It took all of my willpower to pull out,” he said.
Brooks began washing my back.
“Are you mad? That I was a virgin?”
“Mad? No.”
“You seem mad.”
“You haven’t seen me mad.”
I swallowed.
“So, what was this to you?” he asked. “You just wanted to give your virginity to the ex-con biker so you could have a good story to tell? What?”
I frowned. “You think that’s why I went to bed with you? For a good story?”
When he didn’t reply, I reached around to grab his hand to force him to stop, twisting my body so I could halfway face him. “I gave you my virginity because you make me feel safe. I—I didn’t know what that was like, Brooks. All this time, I thought there was something wrong with me. Because I’ve tried to lose it before.”
He made a noise of annoyance, and I held in my smile.
“But every time it came down to it, I couldn’t do it. My body rebelled. It said no. Now I know the truth.”
“Which is?”
