“Good changes.” She tipped Hannah’s chin up with herfingertip. “Are you doubting us?”
“God, no.” Hannah grasped Janie’s hand. “I’m just hoping you’re happy.”
The door to Rae’s office opened, and Rae came out with her usual warm smile and kind eyes, radiating that air of patient empathy that had made Janie feel safe enough to start opening up in the first place. She’d been reluctant to take Rosie’s referral, but now she couldn’t imagine seeing anyone else.
“Janie, Hannah. Come on in.”
She and Hannah settled on their usual couch, and Janie held tight to Hannah’s hand, not because she was anxious, but because shecould. And because Hannah wanted her to.
Rae settled into her chair across from them, notepad in lap, and studied them both for a moment. “You two look different,” she said. “What’s changed since I saw you last week?”
Janie glanced at Hannah, who gave her an encouraging nod. “We did the ten things homework,” she said. “And we went on our date.”
“How did those things go?”
“The ten things was...” Tears prickled Janie’s eyes. “It was really good, and it was a timely reminder of why we fell in love in the first place.”
“And the date?” Rae asked.
“We went to Pilsen,” Hannah said. “We walked around for a while and looked at the street art.” She glanced at Janie and smiled. “Janie took me to meet Maria, the woman who’s been helping her.”
“That’s significant.” Rae nodded and made notes. “Janie, how did it feel introducing Hannah to someone who’s been important to your support system?”
Janie nibbled on her lip for a moment, trying to figure out the best way to express that. “I was conflicted,” she said, touching Hannah’s thigh when she frowned slightly. “I met Maria moments after I left Hannah, the day after the ER incident. It was quite surreal, but looking back, it kind of feels like fate. Maria becamethe one person I could talk to when I’d shut out everyone else. I wanted Hannah to meet her. But I was worried that the new part of my life wouldn’t be able to co-exist with my family life.”
“Worried in what way?” Rae asked.
“That Hannah might not like Maria. Or vice versa.” Janie fiddled with a stray piece of hair, unable to look at Hannah in case there was hurt in her eyes. “Hannah has her ex-Army buddies, and she’s had them for a long time, but…” She swallowed, fearing the possible judgment. “I’ve never really had friends like that, not people I can count on to be there, whenever and however I need them. Maria’s friendship feels magical, and nourishing, and supportive in a way I could never have imagined.”
Rae stopped writing. “And you don’t want to lose that now that you’ve had it?”
Janie shook her head. “Hence my concern.”
“And was it warranted?” Rae asked.
“I don’t think so,” Janie said and met Hannah’s gaze again. “Was it?”
“No.” Hannah touched Janie’s cheek gently. “I thought Maria was nice. And even if I hadn’t, I would never want you to stop seeing someone who meant so much to you.”
The tight band around Janie’s heart eased a little. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you that earlier.”
Hannah’s answering smile was easy and full of love. “It’s okay, but I don’t want you to be scared of sharing anything with me. I want you to be happy, and if Maria helps with that, I’m all in.”
“Thank you,” Janie said.
Rae scribbled some more then looked up again. “And what happened after you met Maria?”
Heat zipped up Janie’s spine and flushed her neck. “I booked a hotel room, in case we wanted somewhere private to talk or...” She shrugged slightly and studied the delicate painting above Rae’s desk. “We reconnected.”
Hannah gave a low chuckle. “Reallyreconnected.”
Rae smiled. “And how was that?”
“Intense,” Janie said. “Emotional. But also a little bit scary. Like we’ve opened the door that leads to us again, and now we have to figure out how to walk through it without falling back into old patterns.”
“What old patterns are you worried about?” Rae asked.
“Me disappearing into the girls and making Janie invisible,” Hannah said immediately. “And seeing Janie just as their mother and forgetting she’s my wife, a person, with her own needs beyond those of the family.”
