“Yeah.” Janie nestled closer against Hannah’s chest, her heartbeat steady and strong against Janie’s ear. “Let’s just be us for a little while longer.” With Hannah’s arms around her and Hannah’s breath warm against her neck, she was truly at peace for the first time in months.
They had a long road ahead, with all the therapy, the custody hearing, and the daily work of rebuilding trust and connection. The medication would take a while to really kick in, and the depression might never be fully gone. There would be hard days, maybe even hard months.
But she had this. She had Hannah, and vice versa. Their love was big enough for their children and for each other, and their hearts had room for both kinds of devotion.
And that, Janie thought as sleep crept closer to claim her, was more than enough.
It was everything.
CHAPTER 21
Solo woketo the bright city lights filtering through the hotel curtains, her body pleasantly exhausted. Every muscle ached in that good way, the kind that came from hours of reconnecting with the woman she loved most in the world.
Janie was sprawled across her chest, with one of her legs over Solo’s hips pinning her down, and her face was pressed into Solo’s shoulder. Her breathing was deep and even, peaceful, like she didn’t have the weight of…everythingon her mind. Solo’s arm had gone slightly numb under Janie’s weight, but she didn’t want to move. The moment was too precious, too fragile, like any shift might shatter it and bring down the beauty of the previous hours.
She studied Janie’s face in the artificial yellows, pinks, and blues of the cityscape’s illuminations, smiled at the way her eyelashes cast shadows on her cheeks, the small crease between her brows that appeared even in sleep, the soft parting of her lips.Beautiful.She was so goddamn beautiful it made Solo’s chest ache. She hoped she’d made Janie grasp how much Solo worshipped her when they’d made love. And Jesus, it was definitely that. There’d been such desperate intensity, followed by slow, exploratory tenderness, and maybe her favorite of all, the sleepy, almost dreamlike final bout that had left them both trembling and overwhelmed.
Solo thought about her therapy sessions and knew she wouldn’t have been here now without Rae’s patient intervention. She doubted she could’ve even begun to understand Janie’s depression, but she was still plagued by the feeling that it was so unfair. Janie was such a wonderful human being, such a gentle soul. She didn’t deserve what had happened—what was stillhappening—to her, and it made Solo want to hurt someone. If only she could find the source, the reason. But there was none. Although she could direct some of her rage toward Janie’s mother, for sure.
Her stomach turned at the reminder that the custody threat still loomed large, and they still had hard work ahead of them. But last night had been a turning point, like they’d finally found their way back to the foundation of what they were, not just as parents but as lovers. It was as if they’d rediscovered the two people who had chosen each other once and would continue to do so every day. And Solo was willing to fight anyone and everyone to keep her little family safe now that it was back together again.
She bit her lip. Theywereback together again, weren’t they? This had sealed it, surely… Doubt gnawed at her gut, adding to the tension Janie’s mom had set in motion.
Janie stirred slightly, her hand flexing against Solo’s ribs, and Solo pressed a kiss to the top of her head. They had to leave this bubble and return to reality, to the triplets, to the garage, and to the legal battle with Janie’s mother. But for just a few moments longer, Solo wanted to hold onto this peace and the hope that they were going to be okay.
Janie made that cute little sound she always made when she wasn’t quite awake but not fully asleep either, and she burrowed closer. Not wanting to think about getting up and going home just yet, Solo tightened her arm around her wife’s waist.
My wife. She tested out the words in her head. They’d never stopped being married, of course, but it had been too long since Solo had really fulfilled the truth of that word. Janie was her wife, her partner, and the woman she wanted beside her through everything.
The sky outside continued to shimmer with the spotlights dotting Lake Shore Drive, shifting colors and fading high in the clouds that were keeping the stars at bay. Solo thought about their daughters and the morning routine that would start in just a few short hours. Tia would be the first to wake, climbing out ofher crib and padding to Solo’s bedroom to announce that it was morning even though the sun was barely up. Chloe would follow soon after, never wanting to be left out. And Luna would be the last, needing to be coaxed awake with promises of pancakes or cartoons.
Solo’s chest tightened with longing. She missed them. Even after one night away, she missed the weight of their small bodies, the chaos of their demands, the way they smelled like baby shampoo and sweet popcorn. But she’d enjoyed every single second of her date with Janie, and she was sure they’d reclaimed the part of their relationship that had been buried under the weight of parenthood.
Janie shifted again, and her eyes fluttered open. For a moment, she looked disoriented, then she focused on Solo’s face and smiled, her gaze soft, sleepy, and full of contentment.
“Hi,” Janie murmured, her voice rough with sleep.
“Hi.” Solo brushed a strand of hair away from Janie’s face. “How are you feeling?”
“Sore in the best possible way.” Janie smiled then wrinkled her nose and dipped her gaze slightly. “Hopeful.”
“Yeah. Me too.” Solo glanced at the clock on the nightstand. It was way past midnight, and its neon digits declared an end to their fairytale night. “I should probably head home before my clothes turn to rags,” she said and sighed deeply. “The girls usually wake up around six thirty, and I don’t want to confuse them about where I am.”
Janie bit her lip and nodded slowly. “Of course. I’ll drop you off.”
Solo looked into Janie’s eyes, trying to decipher the emotions that had flittered across them. “Come with me,” she said, venturing into shaky territory.
“Really?”
“Yes. Come home with me.” Solo’s conviction increased with each syllable. “I don’t mean to stay. I know we’ll have to take things slow and build up to you moving back in. Unless youdowant to stay. Then you can. Obviously.” She waved her hand, trying to stop herself waffling. “But come for breakfast and be there when the girls wake up. Let’s start our day together, and maybe we can create some new Sunday traditions.” When Janie’s eyes filled with tears, Solo hoped to God they were the good kind.
“You want me there?”
“Of course I do. And so do the girls.” Solo cupped Janie’s face. “But only if you’re ready. I’m not pressuring you. If you need more?—”
“No.” Janie shook her head emphatically. “No, I want to. I want to be there. I want to start our day together.”
“Yeah?” Relief flooded through Solo, so intense it made her dizzy.
