“First date.” Janie nodded. “Are you ready to be swept off your feet?”
“You’re going to do the sweeping?” Solo chuckled.
Janie arched her eyebrow the way she did when she was practically daring Solo to push. “Yes.I’mgoing to do the sweeping.”
“Then I’m ready,” Solo said, enjoying Janie’s familiar queen-like confidence. “Sweep away.”
Janie’s eyebrow dropped, and she inclined her head toward the Lexus. “Hop in.”
Solo happily did as instructed. Their time together was already feeling new and exciting, and she couldn’t wait to enjoy every second of it. She didn’t really take notice of the route and was happy enough to simply stare at her wife’s profile, something she wasn’t sure she’d get to see with any kind of regularity ever again. Janie was clearly following some internal map, and she seemed lighter today as she sang along to the radio, one hand on the wheel and the other occasionally reaching over to touch Solo’s knee. Each touch darted warmth through Solo’s chest.
She thought about asking how Janie was feeling about their Zoom with David yesterday, but she didn’t want to bring the vibe down. And today was supposed to be just about them, reconnecting and rediscovering each other. For now, Solo wanted to ignore the ball of dread sitting in her guts and justbewith her wife.
They drove through neighborhoods that shifted and changed, past the Loop with its towering buildings and through pockets of residential streets until Janie pulled into a parking spot on 18th Street.
“It’s crazy that we haven’t been here together,” Solo said before she got out of the car. She got a hit of incense and noticed they were parked outside some kind of spiritual shop.
The woman inside came to the door and seemed to study them both for a long moment. “If you’re looking to make sure thissticks, I’ve got a great spell for second chances.”
Solo did a double take and backed away. “Uh, no. We’re good on our own, thanks.”
The woman looked at them both again for longer than was comfortable, and then she winked. “Yeah, you will be,” she said and turned back into her shop.
“That was strange,” Solo said when Janie came alongside her.
Janie laughed lightly. “That kind of thing is normal around here. Wait until you meet Maria.”
“I’m looking forward to that,” Solo said and held out her hand, not wanting to assume Janie would be good with the physical contact. She almost did a little celebration jump when Janie intertwined their fingers. “I want to meet the woman who’s been taking care of my wife when I couldn’t.”
Janie kissed Solo’s cheek. “Don’t go there. We’re focusing on being there for each other from here, okay?”
Solo nodded, and when they started walking, she immediately understood why Janie had fallen for this neighborhood over the past couple of weeks. Murals covered nearly every available surface, massive, colorful pieces that transformed ordinary buildings into art galleries. A skeletal Día de los Muertos figure smiled down from one wall. A woman’s face, rendered in stunning detail, gazed out from another, her expression both fierce and tender.
“This one’s my favorite,” Janie said, stopping in front of a mural that depicted a phoenix rising from flames, its wings spread wide and brilliant with gold and crimson. “I came across it a few weeks ago, and I stood here for twenty minutes, staring at it.”
Solo took in the mural, understanding why it would speak to Janie. “Rising from the ashes,” she said quietly.
“Yeah.” Janie squeezed Solo’s hand and lifted it to her chest. “That’s what it feels like. Like everything burned down, and now we’re building something new from what’s left.”
The art and Janie’s sentiment took away Solo’s ability to say anything remotely clever, so she said nothing at all and simply letthe beautiful weight of it all settle in her heart.
They walked hand in hand through the neighborhood, stopping to admire murals, peeking into shop windows, just existing together in a way they hadn’t in so long. Solo relaxed more with each step, and the constant tension she’d been carrying for weeks slowly began to unwind.
They paused in front of a mural of intertwined hands that were different shades of brown, tan, and cream, all holding each other up. It reminded her of Gabe, and Shay, and RB, and Woody. That’s exactly what they’d done for her and for each other for years. She took a photo to show them and scanned the QR code in case the artist did commissions. She’d love something like that in her area of the garage. “Can I ask you something?”
“Anything.”
“When you left, where did your mind go?” Solo had wanted the answer to this question since Rae had put a name to Janie’s suffering, but she didn’t know if it’d be okay to ask. Now though, as everything seemed to be slipping back into place, albeit a new place, she figured Janie could decide whether or not to share her experience. “I know your body went to some apartment, but where didyougo?”
Janie was quiet for a long time. “I went to a place where I didn’t have to see disappointment in anyone’s eyes. Where I could just be small without having to pretend I was okay.” She squeezed Solo’s hand. “In the moment, it seemed like the only option.”
Solo swallowed against her constricting throat, like one of the giant hands from the wall had reached out and wrapped itself around her neck. “I’m sorry that I made you feel like you had to hide from me.”
“It wasn’t your doing. Maria kept saying that I was building my own prison.” Janie tugged Solo forward. “Come on. The café is just around the corner. I want you to meet her.”
The café was small and welcoming, with mismatched furniture and walls covered in local art. The smell of coffee andfresh bread wrapped around Solo like a hug. A few people sat scattered at tables, working on laptops or reading, but the place had a quiet, comfortable energy despite the sizeable line waiting to be served.
Behind the counter stood two older women. Solo guessed they were in their sixties, and both had silver-streaked, almost black hair pulled back in loose buns. Their faces were lined with countless experiences.
