They talked about logistics, meal preparation, and emergency procedures. Clara answered everything competently and asked intelligent questions about the girls’ individual personalities and preferences, and how Solo and Janie told them apart since they were identical.
When she left, they sat in silence for a moment.
“She was great, right?” Solo straightened Clara’s resume and slipped it to the bottom of the paperwork on the other possible nannies.
Janie wrinkled her nose slightly. “Yeah.”
“You didn’t like her?” Solo asked.
“No, I did. She’s just...” Janie gazed out of the kitchen window and tapped the table lightly with her nails.
She couldn’t be searching for words. Janie’s grasp of language was one of the things Solo loved about her, and she always knew the exact thing to say and the perfect way to say it. So she took another sip of coffee and waited.
“She’s very ‘by-the-book.’ I think she’ll follow all the nanny rules perfectly, but I doubt she’ll connect with the girls.” Janie turned sideways in her seat and looked at Solo. “She didn’t have much personality, and Tia won’t stand for that.”
Something warm and squishy unfurled in Solo’s chest. She loved how Janie knew exactly what the girls’ emotional needs were, not just whether someone could keep them alive and fed. Usually, Janie had to focus on practical solutions because Solo was too busy with the touchy-feely stuff. “You’re right,” she said. “She was a little...beige.”
“Yes, beige.” Janie touched Solo’s arm lightly and too briefly. “And sterile.”
“That’sthe word.” She pulled out Clara’s paperwork again and tossed it in the recycling. “Should we see how the rest go?”she asked, enjoying spending time with her wife, despite the challenging situation.
Janie’s answering smile filled the kitchen like sunlight after a storm.
Candidate two was Louise, a bubbly woman in her late twenties who’d been a kindergarten teacher before switching to private childcare. She was enthusiastic and sweet, but halfway through the interview, Chloe wandered in with Solo’s dad and immediately hid behind Janie’s leg when she saw Louise.
“It’s okay, baby,” Janie whispered, scooping her up. “This is Louise. She’s just visiting.”
But Chloe buried her face in Janie’s neck and wouldn’t look at their guest. Janie arched her eyebrow in Solo’s direction, and while Solo knew toddlers were unpredictable and one reaction didn’t mean anything definitive, she also trusted Chloe’s instincts.
“I’m sorry,” Louise said, looking genuinely distressed. “I’m usually great with shy children.”
“It’s not you.” Janie handed Chloe back to Solo’s dad, who grabbed some juice and promptly left the room without a word. “She’s been through some changes lately.”
Solo nodded. “She’s more cautious than usual.” She caught Janie’s eye and saw the pain there. Janie clearly blamed herself for Chloe’s increased clinginess, for the way all three girls had been more anxious since Janie left. And maybe Janie’s absence was part of it, but Solo’s neglect had forced Janie to leave. And then she’d been so overwhelmed and stressed that the girls had obviously picked up on it. They’d become more demanding and needy, but Solo had chosen to put it down to a phase.
After Louise left, Solo’s dad returned with all three girls, and the house descended into toddler chaos for a few minutes as they dealt with diapers and a minor dispute over a toy cow that required negotiation.
Solo’s heart ached as Janie dove into the madness like she’d never left, settling the farmyard fuzz with the wisdom of Solomon: Chloe could have it now, Luna would get it after snacktime, and Tia could take the sheep as a consolation prize. It was so natural, so easy, sothemthat Solo’s throat tightened and her chest constricted. She couldn’t lose this. This partnership, this rhythm, this sense of being a team.
Carmen arrived just as they were hustling the girls into bed for a special grandad story. She was a woman in her mid-fifties with kind eyes, sensible shoes, and an air of unflappable calm that reminded Solo of her own mom. Could it be third time’s the charm?
“Sorry about the timing,” Solo said, ushering her inside as the sounds of toddler protests echoed down the stairs. “We wanted you to meet the girls, but they’re getting cranky, so my dad’s putting them to bed.”
“No problem. Does your dad live close by?” Carmen asked as Janie led her through to the kitchen.
“He’s living here right now,” Solo said. She glanced at Janie, unsure how much she should confess to a total stranger, but Janie simply smiled and nodded. Solo took that as permission to be totally honest.
Carmen settled at the kitchen table like she belonged there. “That’s nice. And so lovely for the girls. You must have a very special relationship.”
Warmth flooded Solo’s body. That wasexactlywhat they had. “I treasure it,” she said, then wished she hadn’t when a flicker of sadness crossed Janie’s eyes. Her relationship with her father had been practically non-existent since he’d divorced Janie’s mother.
After fixing a cup of English breakfast tea for Carmen, they went through the basics of her extensive experience, her glowing references, and her certifications.
“And you two,” Carmen said, looking between Solo and Janie with clear, assessing eyes. “Where are you in your relationship right now? I’m not asking to be nosy. I just need to understand the household I’d be joining.”
Solo froze, unsure how to answer. Separated? Working onit? Completely fucked up but trying to co-parent?
“We’re...” Janie said, then faltered.
