“You know what gets tome?” Solo tapped two fingers on their table. “When my wife startstalkingto a guy and then movesinto the guest room, and I’m supposed to believe the two things aren’t related.” She nodded. “Yep, that’s what gets to me.”
Janie looked around and offered a small smile to the people at other tables who were flicking irritated glances their way. They were probably out for date night. Or maybe they were on their first date and had the whole exciting journey of discovery to look forward to. And then…this. Heartbreak. And accusations. And cheating.
“I already told you: Austin is just a friend,” Janie whispered. “He was nice to me when I needed someone to talk to.”
Janie’s words wounded Solo like they were rocks she’d thrown at Solo’s heart. “You were supposed to talk tome,” she said, her voice cracking but still too loud for the intimate space.
Janie glanced quickly at the other tables again, and Solo noticed the sympathetic looks she received in return. Sure, Solo was the bad guy here, just like always. The immature kid who couldn’t handle an adult conversation about their relationship without getting defensive. The stupid soldier who should never have been blessed with Janie for even a moment, let alone had five years with her.
“This was a bad idea,” Janie said quietly and pushed her wine glass away. “I need to leave.”
Solo shook her head and scoffed. “Is that why you suggested meeting here? So you could leave if it got hard? Like you’ve left me and the girls because that’s too hard?”
Janie pushed away from the table and stood as she gathered her purse. “No, it wasn’t.”
Her eyes were hard and distant, a look Janie always adopted when they argued. And it killed Solo this time just as it had every time in the past. She’d caused it though, like she’d caused most of their issues. What the hell was she doing? All the shit she’d just said… Where the hell had it come from?
Solo stood and grasped Janie’s wrist lightly. “Please don’t go. I’m sorry. I’m an asshole. I didn’t mean any of that.”
Janie looked at Solo’s hand then touched her gently toremove it. She smiled, and her eyes softened slightly. “Yes. You did, Hannah. You meant every word.”
Solo released Janie’s hand, and her shoulders sagged. The temper she’d always had trouble controlling had fucked her over again. “I’m going to therapy,” she blurted out, as if that would convince Janie to retake her seat. “Hear me out. Please.”
Janie blinked, and tears tracked down her cheeks, streaking them with black mascara. “You’re angry, honey. We’ve never been able to communicate when you’re like this.” She took a step back and seemed to hesitate, then she turned and walked away.
Solo had always enjoyed watching Janie leave, enjoyed the soft, swinging sashay of her hips. But that wasn’t the feeling ripping through her right now. This was the same desperate and devastating pain as it had been when she’d watched Janie drag her suitcase out of the house a week ago, and steel wire constricted around her heart, almost stopping it from pulsing. Its rhythm beat for Janie. Without her, what was the point? Solo swallowed hard and dropped back into her seat.
What the hell had happened to the plan?
CHAPTER 10
The law offices of Richards& Wall occupied the entire forty-seventh floor of a gleaming glass tower in the Loop, a monument to the kind of polished, ambitious professionalism Janie had spent her life striving for. She had an uninterrupted view of Lake Michigan, something her clients often commented on, but the cold, blue expanse of water offered little comfort today. The way it stretched into the horizon, vast and immense, only reinforced the loneliness hollowing out her soul.
She refocused on the stack of deposition transcripts, the work a welcome, numbingly complex distraction from the reality of her home life, which was collapsing around her ears.Damn it.Why couldn’t she keep her thoughts focused on the billable tasks she needed to stack up in order to make partner? An image of Hannah’s expression when Janie had mentioned that last night popped into her head. She’d seemed distressed by the idea, even though it was something they often talked about, something that would result in more financial stability. Her progression within her firm might be even more important now that she had her apartment to pay for as well as their mortgage, and she didn’t want to have to dip into the triplets’ trust.
Cold fear snaked around her heart. How long would she be able to keep up the payments on two properties on her current salary? Would she have to ask Hannah and the girls to move somewhere smaller or to a less desirable neighborhood? Should she even be thinking about that version of her future? Had she already made the break emotionally as well as physically?
She flipped the folder closed and stared out of her window. Too many questions, and no answers. It wasn’t astate of being she was comfortable with. Her conversation with Maria had instilled hope, but maybe she had no right to think that she and Hannah could work this out. If last night was any indication, they had a long way to go. They couldn’t even share a meal together anymore; how were they supposed to co-parent three toddlers? And Janie would still have to confess what she’d done, what she’d allowed to happen.
Her gaze fell to her phone, where she’d changed the screensaver to a photo of their newly decorated living room, courtesy of Tia’s creativity. A stab of grief shot through her. She was missing out on precious moments like that too. Janie turned the cell on its face and reopened the folder. If she didn’t get this work done, she wouldn’t even be able to keep up her responsibilities for financial support.
She didn’t know how much time had passed when there were two quick, sharp taps on her office door. “Come in, Amanda,” she called, expecting her assistant, who’d been uncharacteristically quiet all morning. Janie suspected she and some of the other paralegals had overindulged last night and were paying for it on a Sunday they hadn’t expected to be working.
Her door swung open, and Katherine stood in the opening. The expression on her face made it clear she was still sore from Janie’s recent public evisceration of her at the bar most of the firm frequented. Janie wanted to say sorry, both for the outburst and the unkind things she’d said. It didn’t matter that they were mostly true. What mattered was Janie’s complete lack of emotional control, a distressing signal that she was unraveling professionally as well as personally. The only saving grace was that it hadn’t happened at the office. Katherine was a senior associate and widely thought of as “one of the boys” by the partners, but they rarely socialized at Oscar’s, so they hadn’t witnessed it. The firm’s grapevine was nothing if not effective though, and Janie had no doubt the partners would’ve heard some version of the incident by now. She could only hope that it wouldn’t hurt her chances of progression.
“I thought I’d be the bigger person and come see you,” Katherine said as she stepped into the office.
Janie looked beyond Katherine’s shoulder as she closed the door behind her, but there was no sign of Amanda. She must’ve gone to lunch, or she wouldn’t have allowed Katherine to waltz into her office as if Janie was a junior associate instead of an equal. “What can I do for you?”
Katherine raised her eyebrows as if she’d expected Janie to fall at her feet in groveling apology. Her sense of entitlement irked Janie more than usual, and her regret for her behavior began to recede.
“I was going to ask for an apology for the other night.” Katherine swaggered across the office and took a seat without being offered one. “But you’re under a lot of stress right now, so I decided to forgive you instead,” she gave Janie a crooked smile, “on the condition that you let me take you out for dinner.”
Janie leaned back in her chair, not quite believing the nerve of the woman. “Why would I do that?” She flashed her wedding ring, then dropped her left hand, guilt overcoming her for using Hannah only when it suited her.
Katherine inclined her head. “You have to play nice if you want to get anywhere in this firm.”
Janie gave a short laugh. “With the partners, sure. But I don’t think you have that position yet.”
