Janie picked up her spoon and busied her mouth with another taste of the torrejas. “This is really delicious.”
Maria arched her eyebrow but said nothing, seeming to let it go, for now. As they continued to eat, and Maria talked more about the café and the community it fostered, Janie’s desire for absolute isolation battled quietly with the small, persistent seed of hope and connection that Maria had planted. The fear eating at Janie demanded that she refuse to see both Hannah and the triplets, but the profound love for her children insisted that she keep the door open. Maria’s stubborn, forceful compassion forced Janie to consider whether her absence really was hurting her children and her wife. Her protection was also punishment, for all of them. Did protecting them outweigh the pain they were feeling?
For now, she settled into the quiet, gentle conversation with the wise woman who’d entered her life in the most bizarre way possible. Janie was a loner by habit, but she no longer had to be a loner by choice. And maybe opening up to that possibility was the first step that might eventually lead her home.
CHAPTER 9
Solo tookher dark denim jacket from the chair in her bedroom and pulled it on. It usually gave her comfort and confidence, but tonight, it was like donning armor for battle. She adjusted the collar of the crisp, white button-down shirt, the starched fabric stiff against her skin, and undid the top button beneath her tie. She stared at her reflection in the full-length mirror Janie had insisted on buying and almost laughed at herself. With her hair neatly cropped and wearing her best pair of perfectly tailored black dress pants and highly polished boots, this was her go-to wife uniform, her most confident, masc presentation, and the outfit Janie liked her in—and out of—the most. Could Solo hope that it might have the same effect on her tonight?
She slipped her wallet and phone into her inside pockets and headed downstairs. The living room still resembled a colorful, cushioned warzone. The triplets, fresh from their afternoon nap, were each involved in their own interesting project. Tia was testing the structural integrity of the large cardboard box that had housed her granddad’s new bedframe, while he sat cross-legged on the floor, trying to corral them all and keep them in his line of sight at all times.
She smiled. He really hadn’t known what he was getting himself into when he’d upended his life and moved in with them. Caring for three eighteen-month-old girls was proving to be a highly specialized field, one he hadn’t been anywhere near for over three decades. But he wouldn’t be doing it alone for long if the nanny agency could come up with better candidates than the one who’d left her in the lurch just before Janie had gone.
“Chloe, the crayons are for paper. Remember?”He pulled at the edge of a roll of drawing paper until Chloe had four feet of canvas to create on.
“Pop!” Chloe shouted, cheerly smearing her purple crayon across the chest of his crisp white T-shirt.
The knock at the front door stopped Solo from responding, and she heard it open. The comforting sounds of laughter and familiar voices drifted into the house, and Solo’s anxiety dialed down a notch. Gabe’s mere presence had affected her that way for nearly fifteen years now.
“The cavalry has arrived.” Gabe stepped over an array of discarded toys, which looked like they’d been carefully arranged into an assault course designed to fell adults, and bro-hugged Solo.
She thought she’d stayed stiff as she tried to borrow some of Gabe’s strength but knew she’d failed when Gabe pulled away and looked at her like she was trying to see into her soul.
“You okay, buddy?” Gabe asked, frowning.
Solo tried for a convincing smile. “Sure thing.” She avoided Gabe’s continued gaze and glanced around Gabe’s bulk to wave at Lori. “Hey. You brought supplies?” She gestured toward the paper bag Lori was carrying.
Lori laughed, and her eyes sparkled. “I figured we’d all have our hands full and be too busy to attempt cooking tonight.”
“Thank God.” Her dad sighed. “You’re an angel.”
Lori tiptoed around the debris of the afternoon’s playtime. “I’ll take this to the kitchen and serve it up. Hannah, you look great.”
The compliment lifted Solo’s spirits, as any compliment from a woman as gorgeous as Lori was bound to do, no matter how shitty she felt inside. She smiled genuinely.
“Hey, spider monkey.” Gabe intercepted Tia, who had abandoned her destruction of the cardboard fortress she’d built and decided Gabe’s leg was the next thing to conquer.
She held her aloft with one hand, and Tia made a delighted squeal while she wiggled her arms and legs as if she was pretending to fly. Gabe clapped her other hand on Solo’sshoulder, heavy and reassuring.
“She’s going to be there, right?” Solo whispered. “She said yes. She’ll show up, right?”
Gabe inclined her head slightly. “Janie loves you, and she loves these girls. This could never be a breakup. It’s just a time-out because you’ve been a naughty wife.”
Her crooked smile and teasing tone helped Solo to breathe a little easier. “Right.” She nodded. “Bad wife.”
Gabe squeezed Solo’s shoulder. “What’s the plan?”
“The plan is to apologize over and over for letting her down. Tell her I’m in therapy, and that I’m working on being the mature, adult wife she needs. And promise her that she’ll be my priority again. Like she was when we met.”
“Good.” Gabe released Solo and punched her shoulder hard enough to rock her back on her heels a little. “What else? Don’t just focus on the bad and what’s gone wrong, remember?”
Solo nodded. “Right. I’ll convince her that my neglect wasn’t from a lack of love,” she said, hoping she’d remember all the stuff she’d been rehearsing the whole day. “I need to remind her how good we are together and what we’ve built, why we said ‘I do’ in the first place.”
“Perfect.” Gabe held Tia over her head one-handed, almost touching her to the ceiling, and Lori gasped as she came back into the living room.
“Are you trying to give Hannah a heart attack before she leaves?” Lori reached up to retrieve Tia, but her outstretched arms barely reached Gabe’s elbow.
Gabe grasped Lori’s wrist and twisted her around in one fluid movement so that she nestled into Gabe’s body. God, she was smooth. If Janie was married to Gabe, she wouldn’t have left. But Gabe wouldn’t have neglected her either.
