“What do you mean?” Shay dipped the final piece of her food into a cup of sour cream and popped it into her mouth.
“Lots of people like to be quiet so they can appreciate the sound of their lover’s breath,” Rosie said. “Some people are in their heads with a fantasy, and making noise is a distraction from the movie playing in their mind. And plenty of people enjoy the intimacy of silence as a direct juxtaposition to the noise of everyday life.”
Shay grinned. “They all sound like case studies from your timeas a therapist. Did you do a lot of couples’ counseling?”
“Sorry.” Rosie made what she hoped was an apologetic expression. “It’s hard to forget over a decade of your working life.”
Shay frowned. “Why would you want to? And there’s definitely no need to apologize.”
Rosie didn’t answer for a moment while she considered the implication of her reaction. “That’s a good question that I don’t instantly know the answer to. I’ll have to ponder it and get back to you.”
“It seems like you still like therapizing people,” Shay said.
“I’m sorry.” Rosie recalled their pre-room service conversation. “Your behavior and feelings around intimate relationships are none of my business. Forget I said anything.” She pulled the plate of brownies toward her; if she couldn’t have Shay as her dessert, these would have to suffice. She took a bite and made a conscious effort not to moan out loud.
“I don’t get involved because I don’t have time for more complications,” Shay said after the silence had stretched on. “My family takes up all of my emotional bandwidth, and intimate relationships are exhausting.”
Rosie laughed. “You understand that being with someone in an intimate relationship could be extremely supportive and help you with your family stuff, don’t you? They’re two-way streets, or at least, the good ones are. I’ve seen them in action, even if I haven’t had one myself. You don’t have to look far to see that Lori and Gabe fit perfectly into that category.”
“But you’re a shrink, and you still haven’t managed to have a successful relationship.”
“Ouch.” Rosie smiled, but that one stung a lot more than she would’ve liked. “I just haven’t met someone who fits me yet, that’s all.”
“And you said that you’d stopped searching.”
“I have.” Rosie sighed and looked at Shay, trying to stop herself from following a train of thought that would only derail the momentshe vocalized it. A change of subject was required before one of them said something they couldn’t take back. “And that led me into our simple situationship, which I’m thoroughly enjoying.” She ran her fingers along Shay’s forearm and tilted her head toward the bed. “And which I’d like to enjoy tonight, if you’re willing.” She stared into Shay’s eyes, checking for clues as to where her head was at right now.
“I’m always willing,” Shay got up and held out her hand, “if you’re sure that’s what you want.”
Rosie took it and allowed herself to be pulled to her feet. “I’m sure.” She’d seen no sign of hesitation or disinterest in Shay’s expression, only concern and perhaps a little relief at the end to a tricky conversation. Maybe she’d gotten it wrong, and they would be able to continue this when they got back to Chicago.Stop. She should quit overthinking everything and go with the flow. The shower and the food had combined to combat her fatigue and honestly, being in such close proximity with someone as sexy as Shay made sleep far less appealing than it should be right now.
Shay guided her to the closest bed and gently pushed her down, falling to the mattress with her. Rosie inched up higher until her head was on a pillow, and then she relaxed, content to let Shay take the lead. Shay seemed to understand that’s what she wanted, and she slowly untied the robe and pushed it away from Rosie’s body. Her unhurried touch somehow transmitted a soft vibe to Rosie’s brain, and she sank deeper into the comforter, her body taking on a weightless sensation that was a little surreal.
Rosie stretched out as Shay kissed her neck softly before working her way along Rosie’s collarbone, down between her breasts, and then to her stomach. Her strong hands cupped Rosie’s breasts and squeezed gently, making her gasp. Shay’s lips were fire on her skin, everywhere all at once as everything else on Rosie’s mind dropped away like heavy raindrops from a fragile leaf, leaving her light and empty in only good ways.
Shay pressed her body to Rosie’s, and her slight weightgrounded her even more deeply in the moment, and then Shay kissed her with such intensity that it carried Rosie away on a wave of emotion so powerful, she almost lost herself in it. They’d kissed before, that wasn’t new, but this was—No. She pulled back on the intrusive and destructive notion. This could still be the last time, and that’s what she needed to feel and think about. She needed to memorize the way Shay traced her tongue along Rosie’s skin in circles, the way Shay’s lips felt pressed against hers, the way Shay used her fingers to bring her to orgasm.Thoseorgasms. Powerful and life-affirming like nothing she’d ever felt before. Shay knew how to play Rosie’s body to hit the high notes of pleasure.
Rosie opened her eyes, and Shay met her gaze. The connection electrified the room, and every sensory cell in her body rose up and cried out for more. More of this. More of Shay. Shay’s dark eyes held such untapped depths, like she was both desperate for and terrified of someone truly seeing her. Rosie moaned and lifted her hips to grind herself into Shay’s body, counting on that to break Shay’s concentration and take her back to the sex, to the sounds she’d said she liked Rosie to make. The sounds she likedanywoman to make, not just her. Rosie had to stop herself from getting carried away by something that wasn’t there, by a connection that was purely physical and nothing more.
Shay’s eyes remained intently on Rosie as she trailed her fingers slowly along Rosie’s body and to her core. Rosie opened her legs wider, already wet and ready for Shay to take her, already hungry for the inevitable release but simultaneously dreading the shattering of her defenses. She could feel it rise inexorably to the surface, no longer willing to remain unacknowledged and silent. Simple. Friends with benefits. No strings sex.Fuck all that. This thing inside her wanted so much more. This need inside her wanted Shay,allof Shay. Everything Shay allowed people to see and everything she never gave voice or freedom to. Everything that Shay was and would ever be.
Fuck it. I’ve fallen in love.
CHAPTER 18
She flashed the keycard,and Rosie followed her in. Shay had never been so happy to see the inside of a hotel room. Their time at the Justice Center had reminded her how much shedidn’tmiss government institutions, with all their red tape and bureaucracy. And even though she’d never been to Tijuana before and the hotel concierge continued to urge them to visit Zona Rio and the Plaza Fiesta, she had no desire to explore any of it.
Her lack of interest was unusual, but she figured it was probably just the situation. Being here to do all things death-related for Rosie’s mom wasn’t conducive to tripping down La Revolución and sampling all this vibrant city had to offer. Then last night had happened, and she realized there were other things at play directing her not to indulge in vacation-type activities. Confusing things. Emotional things that had no right to be lurking in her brain.
Shay placed the full ice bucket on the side table and scanned her mind for something safe to talk about. “When the justice guy commented on your name, you said you had a good story to tell me about it…”
Rosie kicked off her Converse and dropped onto the nearest bed. “Did I say it was a good story?” She shook her head. “Turning trauma into humorous anecdotes is a bad habit of mine. I think someone said that everything becomes funny eventually, but I’m not so sure.”
“Laughter is better than tears, isn’t it?” Shay dropped some ice cubes into two glasses and took a Coke from the fridge.
Rosie smiled. “Not always. Emotional tears can detox the body.” She locked eyes with Shay. “And there are otherbenefits I won’t bore you with.”
“It’s not boring.” Shay poured a double measure of Abasolo whisky over the ice in her glass, and the cubes crackled. “I like the residual knowledge you’ve got from your therapy days; it’s educational.”
