“Thank you.” Rosie looked like she might dissolve into a sob, then she threw her arms around Shay’s neck. She pulled back and looked into Shay’s eyes as if she were searching for something. “I know how hard it is for you to be here.”
Shay nodded. She wasn’t about to deny that. Even though Rosiewasn’t a shrink anymore, it was clear her skills were still sharp, and she’d probably see through the untruth before Shay had even finished verbalizing it. “Did you get the car rental worked out for San Diego? It’s too bad there were no direct flights straight into TJ.”
Rosie rolled her eyes. “I did, but I had to take out special Mexican liability insurance. They were eager to stress that I couldn’t have a one-way rental. The coroner’s office has picked up Mom’s body, so that’s our first stop. And I had a little time to skim the details Lori sent me; I need a death report from the Justice Center before I can get a funeral home to pick her up.” She patted the purse on her lap. “Mom wanted to be cremated, and that makes it easier to get her back?—”
The air stewardess came over the speaker system and loudly announced details of their departure, silencing Rosie for a moment. Shay took Rosie’s hand and held it tight.
The announcement finished, and Rosie smiled. “Let’s just get this part of the journey out of the way.” She nodded to the screen set in the headrest. “We’ve got time to watch a couple of movies or binge-watch a show.”
“Sure.” Shay hadn’t been as calm as Rosie when she was traveling home for the funeral, but she reminded herself that their situations were poles apart, and she had no idea what Rosie was hiding inside, if anything. “What kind of movies do you like?” she asked then frowned. “How do I not know that?”
Rosie arched her eyebrow. “My viewing habits don’t really come up when we meet. We’re usually a little preoccupied with ripping each other’s clothes off,” she whispered.
Shay hadn’t felt guilty about that until now. “I guess we’ve been focusing on the benefits and neglecting the friendship.” She tapped her watch as the airline staff began their safety presentation. “We’ve got four hours to rectify that. Do you want to start with movies and TV?”
Rosie’s answering smile calmed Shay’s racing heart, something she hadn’t been aware of until just then. The confusion she hadabout whether or not she should be here fell away, and she could almost hear her momma’s voice telling her this was the right thing to do, not just for Rosie but also for herself. And Gabe had been right too. Shay would get her answers in the next few days, and her life could go back to normal. She and Rosie could go back to normal.
The niggling doubt that was calling their situationship into question at the back of her mind? For now, she’d park that and deal with it when she got home.
CHAPTER 17
Rosie collapsedonto the hotel bed face down, groaning. “I think that might have been the most exhausting eighteen hours of my life.” Between the flight, the drive across the border, and then heading straight to the coroner’s office, it was like someone had pulled the plug out of her, leaving her drained in every way possible.
“That could be partly due to a lack of fuel. You haven’t eaten anything since that granola bar you found at the bottom of your purse,” Shay said. “Do you want to get room service?”
Rosie rolled over and dragged herself higher up the bed. She pressed her hands over her stomach, trying to decide if shewashungry, or if she was over it and just needed to sleep.
Shay waved the menu in her hand. “They’ve got a tasty-looking grilled club sandwich with fries.”
Rosie smiled. They’d talked about so many things on the flight to San Diego and in the car to Tijuana, from food and movies, to pets and travel. She was impressed Shay had remembered such a tiny detail. “Someone was paying attention on the journey here.”
Shay shrugged and sat on the edge of the bed beside her. “What kind of friend would I be if I asked the questions and didn’t pay attention to the answers?”
She laughed. “You’d be like every other friend I’ve ever had since childhood—apart from Lori. Though I guess with all the moving around I did, the other kids didn’t really have much of a chance to get to know me.”
Shay handed Rosie the menu. “You know, with all you’ve been through, it’s a wonder you’re quite so well put together.”
Rosie chuckled. “You think I’m ‘well put together?’” She bit herbottom lip and shook her head. She was pretty certain that there was no way back to their friends with benefits situation after all of this, so there really was zero point in keeping her mess in a box. “It’s a lot of work. I told you why I became a therapist, but part of the qualification involves a lot of your own therapy. Even though I don’t have to do that anymore, I still see someone. Three and a half decades of being Brenda Morgan’s daughter is a lot to unravel.” She glanced away from Shay’s intense gaze. “Maybe it’ll get easier now that she’s…now that she’s gone.” She took in a stuttering breath and clasped her hand to her chest, as if that might help. It didn’t, and her breathing became more erratic.
Shay took her hand. “Rosie. Relax. Take some deep breaths,” she said gently.
“I’m sorry,” Rosie said between mini gasps. She pulled in some oxygen and tried to calm herself. Slowly, her breathing returned to normal, and the rhino sitting on her chest faded away. “I probably shouldn’t say things like that.”
“You should be able to say anything to a friend, shouldn’t you?”
And there it was again. It was as if Shay was subtly pulling back from their situationship and confirming Rosie’s belief that, after this, they could only be friends. No more spectacular sex or late-night booty calls because how could Shay still find her attractive after she’d seen behind the veil? Maybe another friend wouldn’t be so bad. “Because of your mom. I sound like I’m relieved it’s over, which I probably shouldn’t say out loud, when you’d probably give anything to have your mom back.”
Sadness flickered across Shay’s expression, and Rosie wished she hadn’t drawn attention to her highly inappropriate emotion, even though it was competing with a kind of grief too. Though if she said that now, it’d just seem like she was trying to dial back her original feelings. And she knew better than that.
Shay folded her leg beneath her to sit sideways on the bed, facing Rosie. “I’m not a therapist, but even I know that people should be allowed to feel what they feel.” She looked away briefly. “Our experiences with our moms were so very different, and it’s not a comparison or a competition when you tell me how you’re feeling. I’m glad that you’re comfortable enough to share with me.”
“How did you get to be so good with emotions when you seem to keep them at bay most of the time?”
Shay frowned. “What do you mean?”
“Like how you are with intimate relationships. You keep people at a distance and don’t get involved. You like everything simple.”
“Oh, I get it. If we’re going to get heavy, we should both get some brain food.” Shay tapped the menu on Rosie’s lap.
