Shay’s phone vibrated quietly in the pocket of her dress, and she knew instinctively it would be Gabe asking her if she was supposed to agree to that proposal or not. She finished her coffeeand got up, pointing down the hallway. Rosie nodded, and Shay headed to the bathroom.
Do u want 2 go 2 Mexico?
Of course she didn’t. She didn’t want to be mistaken for a Haitian migrant and not live to tell the story. But despite her own trauma, a big part of her felt an increasing urge to support Rosie, especially now that Lori was unable to step in.
Tough call. Leave it with me.
Shay flushed the toilet and ran the faucet for a few seconds to really sell the subterfuge. She turned her cell to flight mode and slipped it back into her pocket before walking back to the sofa. Rosie’s phone was face down on the coffee table.
“Talking to Gabe?” Rosie gave her a half smile. “You don’t have to make excuses, Shay. I didn’t ask Lori to go with me, and I won’t ask you. This is my family drama, and I don’t want to drag anyone else into it.” She looked into Shay’s eyes. “Especially not you, because this is far from simple.”
Rosie was handing her a pass. She’d refused her best friend’s help, and she was telling Shay the same thing. But Shay couldn’t get beyond the overwhelming sense of isolation Rosie must be feeling, and she wasn’t saying outright that she didn’tneedShay’s support. Her distress was blatantly obvious, and what kind of friend ignored that? One who only took the benefits and ignored the other expectations of friendship. “Let me go with you.”
Rosie looked as surprised as Shay felt when the words emerged from her mouth. But the offer had been made now, and she’d work it out. This was the kind of thing her momma would do without hesitation, and Shay could almost sense her presence and guidance.
“I couldn’t ask?—”
“You’re not asking; I’m offering.” Shay sat beside Rosie, much closer this time, and took her hand. “And I won’t take no for an answer.” Of course, shewouldif Rosie was insistent that she didn’t want Shay’s help, but the relief that seemed to wash over Rosie’sexpression indicated that wasn’t the case.
Rosie hung her head, but she didn’t pull away from Shay’s embrace. Her chest began to rise and fall more rapidly, and tears fell onto her sweatpants, creating dark spots on the soft, gray material. Her shoulders began to shake, and then she fell forward onto Shay’s chest. She wrapped her arms around Rosie and held her close. She eased back into the sofa, and Rosie huddled down onto her lap, sobbing softly. Shay stroked Rosie’s hair slowly and gently while Rosie death-gripped her other hand.
Rosie tried to choke something out, but it was incomprehensible, so she simply continued to comfort her as she cried herself out. Shay swallowed back the memory of herself in a similar fetal position on her old bed when she’d gone home for her momma’s funeral. No one had held her like this, and maybe if they had, she might not have felt so abandoned. Gabe had wanted to go home with her but hadn’t been given permission. She’d said she’d go AWOL, but Shay refused the offer and went home alone. Her brothers had been too wrapped up in their own loss and expected her to comfort them and to take her place as the new matriarch instead of recognizing her grief.
But that didn’t have to be the same for Rosie. There was no reason for Shay not to provide the same support she’d needed.
Rosie’s sobbing subsided, and she turned in Shay’s lap to look up at her. “Why would you waste your time coming with me?”
Shay smiled lightly. “Being there when a friend needs you isn’t a waste of time.”
The look of absolute and unguarded vulnerability in Rosie’s eyes reached out and squeezed Shay’s heart so tight, she had to catch her breath. There was no way she could or would leave Rosie alone. Not now, when she was most in need of…solace, a friend, someone to care. Rosie’s expression and words made it clear she didn’t take any of those things for granted, even from Lori. And now, not from Shay either.
Rosie’s brow knitted tightly. “Are yousure? I don’t think I couldbear to drive you away with this. I’d rather not impose on you at all. Keep things simple.”
“Simple can be supportive too.” Shay cupped Rosie’s cheek and smiled. “And you’re not imposing, I promise. I want to do this for you, and you really shouldn’t be doing it alone. Okay?”
Rosie gave a small smile. “Thank you.” She glanced away. “And thank you for last night. I needed to be claimed that way. I needed to be taken that absolutely.”
Shay nodded, not knowing quite how to respond to that.Claimed?She held noclaimon Rosie. She pushed away the urge to analyze Rosie’s words more deeply—Rosie was the ex-therapist, not her. Shay was just a well-educated mechanic, trying to keep things from getting complicated and working hard to stay afloat in a sea of her own grief.
Being by Rosie’s side as she faced this wasn’t going to make either of those things easy, but Shay had never been capable of taking the easy route to anything. Why change that now?
CHAPTER 16
Rosie stayedsilent and still on the sofa for a good while after Shay left to pack a bag and grab her passport. She drifted to sleep and dreamed that her mom had jumped up from the slab in the morgue and cackled like a maniac.
“Got you, Rosarita!” she’d screamed and then jumped into the arms of the hospital’s mortician and proceeded to make out. He turned out to be Keith. His stubby, broken, and blackened teeth had been a clue she’d ignored.
Rosie woke up screaming too, but that was as much from the desire to get away from seeing her mom starting to have sex than it was from the shock of her being alive. She tugged her sweaty T-shirt from her chest and took deep breaths to steady her racing heart. She picked up her phone to check the time and jumped up from the couch when she saw it was nearly noon, and Shay would be returning soon.
She hustled into the bedroom, opened all her closets and drawers, and stood in the middle of her room, staring at all her clothing options. The weather in Tijuana was only a few degrees higher than Chicago right now, so her choices should be simple. But what was she supposed to wear to identify her mom’s body? Something formal? She tugged a few sweaters, blouses, skirts, and dresses from their hangers, half-heartedly folded them, and stuffed them in her small suitcase. They were joined by three pairs of pumps and sandals, a selection of underwear, and her ever-ready travel toiletries and cosmetics bag.
Rosie still couldn’t quite believe Shay had offered to go with her. She’d never envisaged going away with Shay for acouple of days at all, but for this? Rosie couldn’t imagine a less desirable reason to travel. She zipped her case and put it by the door along with her purse before heading into the living room to write to Franklin, explaining what she had to do and why. She intended to continue working on the proposal on the plane and during any other time she could squeeze it in so that she’d still meet the deadline. He didn’t need to panic, and he definitely didn’t need to reassign the account to someone else.
After sending that email, she closed her MacBook and put it in her purse, along with her passport. She stared back down the hallway at the letter from her mom. Ithadcontained her mom’s last wishes, and theywereas outrageous as Rosie had thought they might be. She shook her head and grabbed the piece of paper from the coffee table. She wouldn’t need it in Tijuana, but she had a strange desire to show it to Shay so they could share a laugh over on the plane.
She probably shouldn’t even be thinking of laughing right now, but she’d been preparing herself for this moment for most of her life and now that it was finally here, she had to admit to a deep sense of relief. She couldn’t share that with anyone else, or they’d think she was a cold-hearted, poor excuse for a daughter, but she’d been a therapist too long to ignore her own emotions, as ugly as they were.
Rosie heard the distinctive sound of Shay’s car engine roaring up the street. Funny, she’d never taken any notice of how a car sounded before, nor had she reacted to one quite like this either. Her Pavlovian response wasn’t quite dog drool, but even today, when the engine cutting out wouldn’t signal the start of another marathon sex session, she couldn’t ignore the buzz of anticipation and excitement in the usual places. The other things she was beginning to feel… Well, she didn’t need to acknowledge them right now, and she reminded herself that she was anex-therapist, so repression was a normal human response.
