“You can’t— Are you serious?” Rosie found her voice in a rush of anger and disbelief.
“Look, I’ve done my part. You’re her daughter. Do yours,” he said and hung up.
Her phone beeped three times before returning to a screensaver of her and Lori in front of the Centennial Wheel on Navy Pier.
Dead.
What was she supposed to do now? Would Lori know? She dropped her arms to her side and leaned back in her chair, numb. She knew she was sitting in a chair, but she couldn’tfeelthe soft cushion beneath her butt or the firm comfort of the ergonomic support. There was a cold cup of coffee in front of her, but she couldn’t smell its tempting, slightly burned aroma. In the breeze created by the A/C unit overhead, a lemongrass candle flickered, but she could take no joy from its scent.
What was it her mom had said she was suffering from? She searched her mind, unable to bring the information to the fore in this dream-like state and wishing she could borrow Lori’s hyperthymesia memory thing. Chronic kidney failure. And as it progressed, heart failure followed. That much she remembered from her panicked research. So this meant her momhadn’tbeen lying or scheming; she’d been telling the truth, and Rosie had more or less ignored her. Maybe that wasn’t exactly right. She couldn’t ignore someone who’d cut off communication from their end.
The world around her seemed to shift back into alignment, and her senses came alive again. She pressed her hand to her chest,and it pulsed beneath her touch, but she didn’t feel whole. She didn’t feel right, as if her heart was being tugged downward by an anchor and would drop out onto the ground at any moment.
Maybethiswas another scheme. In all probability, her mom was alive and well, hanging out at a beach bar somewhere sipping margaritas and snorting coke. She just wanted to know that Rosie cared, that she could still pull the mom card, and Rosie would come running. Her mom simply needed some money and, with her twisted logic, figured that Rosie would be so relieved to find her alive in Tijuana that she wouldn’t be able to refuse her anything.
But what if Keith is telling the truth?
Rosie couldn’t deny that she’d often wondered how her mom would die: a drug overdose; murdered by a jealous lover; shot by a police officer. These weren’t the thoughts of a normal kid or even an adult, but they’d plagued Rosie her entire life. Did her eternal question now have an answer? A simple heart attack. If it was true, her mom would be desperately disappointed. She’d always wanted to go out in a blaze of glory and with a story worthy of a Hollywood movie ending.
She pulled a notepad from beneath the folders scattered on her desk and scribbled down the hospital name Keith had given her, then she opened a second tab and typed Hospital del Carmen. She half-hoped not to find anything; if the hospital didn’t exist, it was an indication that Keith had lied. When Google did its thing and brought up more information than she could ever want or need, Rosie’s heart pounded in her ribs and her breathing labored. The edges of her vision spotted and darkened and began to close in. She pushed her thumbnail hard into the palm of her other hand until the pain was too intense and her eyes cleared. She pushed back in her chair and put her head between her knees, angry at herself for falling into old patterns.
She stayed that way for a few moments then straightened up.Shay. Rosie reached for her phone instinctively but stopped herself. What was she thinking? She couldn’t burden Shay withher problem. That wasn’t just stepping over the boundaries into a serious relationship, that was taking a running jump and diving in headfirst. She could already imagine smashing her head into the brick wall Shay had constructed, and she’d be left laying there, bleeding and unattended because things were no longer “simple.” Plus Shay was with her family, which meant she didn’t need anything else to deal with.
Rosie called Lori instead, but it went to voicemail. Of course it did. Lori would be doing something wonderful with Gabe, no doubt.
Call me when you can. Need to talk. It’s Mom.
She hoped the last part would expedite Lori’s response when she saw her text. Rosie entered the number to the hospital on her phone and hovered her thumb over the green icon. But she couldn’t do it. Instead, she tabbed to the marketing plan sitting unfinished on her MacBook and closed it, unable to face the project now that everything was overshadowed by more uncertainty. Or was she just praying it was uncertain? She’d come to despise and dread her mom’s lying and scheming drama, but right now, she’d prefer that over the very definitive alternative.
Rosie got up and walked over to the bookshelf in the living room. She pulled out the hardbacks on the top shelf and retrieved the small wooden box hidden behind them. She dropped onto her couch and clutched the box to her chest. She couldn’t open it. Not yet. She’d promised herself she’d only crack this box when it was over. And she didn’t know that yet. Not for sure.
She placed the box on the glass coffee table and dialed the number for the hospital. Time to end the uncertainty.
CHAPTER 13
“We make a great team,”Nia said as she picked up a tray of meat to take out to the grill.
“Sure.” Shay held the door open for her and smiled. They’d worked well together, almost dancing around each other in the relatively small kitchen space, but she wouldn’t go as far as saying there’d been anything great about it. Deflecting personal and probing questions wasn’t her idea of fun. What was it about civvies that made them so very interested in an ex-vet’s service? And why did Nia just assume that she’d be happy to talk about it? Nia hadn’t asked once if Shay was okay with the questions she’d bombarded her with. And she’d somehow been oblivious to the many unsubtle clues Shay had given about her reluctance to discuss it.
As soon as she left the kitchen, Cyrus caught her gaze and gave her a questioning look. He was way too invested in her sex life, but maybe that’s what happened when someone was curtailing their own adventures to just one person. She could be accused of doing the same thing with Rosie, but that was different. The option to expand her horizons hadn’t been taken off the table. Nia had her good points for certain, but her incessant chatter had soon extinguished any interest Shay might have had the moment she emerged from the pantry with her momma’s sauce bottle. In the Army, she’d been accomplished at keeping her emotions in check, but the past five years had made her soft, and she was easier to read. Too easy, apparently.
Aaron pulled her closer after Nia walked away, and Shay placed the burgers on the table next to him. “Thanks, Shay. I don’t know what we’d do without you.”
“You’re lucky you don’t have to,” she said, avoiding the look in his eyes.
He held on when she tried to head back to the kitchen for more of the platters she and Nia had prepared. “I’m serious, Shay. We don’t say it enough. The family would’ve fallen apart if you hadn’t come out of the Army to look after us.”
Jesus, how was she supposed to keep it together with this kind of gratitude flying around? “It’s what Momma would’ve wanted.”
He shook his head and began placing the ribs and burgers on the grill. “I don’t think so. She was so proud of you going in the Army.”
Shay frowned. “What do you mean?” She’d escaped her family responsibilities once, and she thought her momma had forgiven her but had never been proud of her for running away. “I was supposed to be the good daughter, staying close to home to help Momma with the family, which I would’ve been able to do if I’d stuck with my original plan.”
Aaron scoffed and slapped Shay on the back. “If you’d become a math professor, you would’ve been miserable. Having a genius IQ doesn’t mean that you have to use it the way people expect.” He waved the BBQ fork at her. “Look at you! You were blessed with everything: brains, beauty, and physicality. It’s kinda unfair, really… Momma loved that you were doing what you wanted to do, and not for one second did she want anything else for you.”
Shay sucked in a long, deep breath and released it slowly. If she focused on her breathing, maybe she could make it through the rest of this conversation without breaking down.
Aaron nudged her shoulder. “Don’t get all weird on me, Shay Shay. I just wanted to tell you how I feel. Bisa’s therapy is rubbing off on me, and she’s encouraging me to get ‘in touch with my feelings.’”
