Taryn wrinkled her nose. “Maybe.” Or maybe, definitely. Regrets were for convicts and convents. What was the harm in asking the questions, in havingthe talk? She and Cassie understood each other; they’d had so many serious conversations that this would likely be a walk in the park, and they’d be able to laugh about it no matter what the outcome.
At least that’s what she hoped they could do. Although Taryn was still floating in a sea of confusion over what she wanted to do with the rest of her life, she was sure she wanted to take this chance with Cassie. Was she scared of being rejected? Frightened of having Cassie pull out her heart and stomp on it with one of her sexy heels? Sure, but wasn’t it always better to know the answer than to be forever swallowed up in conjecture?
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Taryn’s rapid recovery didn’t surprise Cassie. After Dr. Fischer had told her the details of her injuries and projected at least a week before she was able to leave the hospital, it had been clear that Taryn saw that as a challenge and a deadline to be beaten. Four days later, she was discharged, and here she was at Cassie’s door. Granted, she’d borrowed someone’s car instead of coming on her bike, but still, Cassie thought she might be pushing it.
Or pushing her. The courage Cassie had summoned to face her mom had apparently been of finite reserve. So if she were honest, Cassie had been vaguely hoping Taryn’s hospital stay would turn out to be the usual length, rather than the shortened version, thus giving her time to refill the well and prepare forthe talk.
Taryn had said she wanted to talk too, and Cassie kind of hoped that she was thinking of breaking it off. They’d become far more involved than either of them had intended, and maybe Taryn saw that her traveling lifestyle and Cassie’s settled career didn’t gel.
Whatever had to happen was about to transpire, and Cassie could no longer delay it. She walked to her front door and opened it. Taryn smiled widely and held up a huge bunch of tulips and roses in several shades of red.
“Shouldn’t I be bringing you flowers?” Cassie asked, taking the beautiful bouquet from Taryn and inhaling deeply. “You’re the one who’s just had a hospital stay.”
“No, definitely not. These are just leftovers from well-meaning fans anyway.” Taryn closed the door behind her.
“Oh…” The romance of the gesture ebbed away, but it was probably for the best. She’d read that roses were for steady relationships, especially red ones.
Taryn grinned. “I’m kidding, obviously. Of course I should bring you flowers.”
“Come on in.” Cassie turned and headed for the kitchen, suddenly feeling formal and weird. She sensed Taryn behind her and quickened her step a little. The desire to pull her in for a kiss had been almost too strong to resist when Cassie had opened her door. That smile and those eyes… But she was adamant she wouldn’t be sending mixed messages, and as much as she wanted to press her mouth to Taryn’s soft lips, she couldn’t. It made her wish that she’d known that the last time they’d slept together would be thelasttime they slept together. She would’ve tried harder to memorize Taryn’s body, the dips and curves of her incredible physique, the flat planes of L-shaped muscle leading down between her legs, the hardness of her chest, and her petite breasts… Mm, maybe she’d committed Taryn to her memory more than she’d thought.
She went around the kitchen island and busied herself with putting the flowers in a vase while Taryn gingerly took a seat at the breakfast bar on the other side. The vast chunk of marble and wood between them felt safe; building a wall between them emotionally was going to be especially hard, given the way Cassie’s heart ached for Taryn.
As she snipped the ends of the stalks and placed each stem individually, and deliberately slowly, she noticed Taryn rolling the sleeves of her shirt up then down, as if she couldn’t decide which look to go with. It was something Cassie had noticed Taryn do when she was nervous. If Taryn did want to talk about breaking up, it was sweet that she held a certain amount of anxiety about it. Even sweeter that she’d brought flowers to soften the blow. She was once again reminded how cruel the Universe was to put someone like Taryn in her path only to take her away when she’d thoroughly fallen for her.
“I wanted to ask you something,” Taryn said after a period of silence and more sleeve-rolling.
Cassie fiddled with the twine on the neck of the vase, occupying the traitorous hands that wanted to pull Taryn close to her. The number of roses and tulips to be snipped was dwindling, but she continued to make them last, grateful Taryn wasn’t cheap when it came to flower-giving. Another smack in the face from the Fates. “Is it whether or not you should have your sleeves down or up?” she asked, deciding that she wanted a last exchange of banter before they parted for good.
Taryn touched her shirt self-consciously and tilted her head. “Sorry. I guess I’m more nervous than I thought I would be.”
“Mm.” Cassie remembered what Taryn had told her about her lack of relationships and wondered if she’d ever even had to have this kind of conversation before. “So what’s your question?”
Taryn bit her lip. “Can I have a drink?”
Cassie laughed lightly. “That’syour question?”
“No. Apparently, that’s just what I’m going to need to be able toaskthe question.”
Taryn smiled, and again, Cassie was taken with the raw and unguarded beauty of it. Damn, this was going to be hard. “You’re driving—which seems silly considering your recent injury—so I can’t offer you a drink. I hope this isn’t a light beer or a hard liquor conversation.”
“It could start as one and end up as the other.” Taryn picked an orange from the fruit bowl on the countertop and began to roll it between her palms. “It’s impossible to predict.”
“Is it?” Cassie offered an encouraging smile. Did Taryn think she might go batshit crazy on her? Or had she pegged Cassie as someone who would dissolve into a puddle of tears? If Cassie was right about their mutual understanding of each other, Taryn wouldn’t be thinking either outcome was possible. She went to the fridge, pulled out a bottle of water, and slid it across the marble into Taryn’s hand.
Cassie knew she should just tell Taryn that she couldn’t do this anymore; that would save Taryn the anguish she was clearly going through. She wasn’t putting it off to torture her, though she was being incredibly sweet. It was for that exact reason that she couldn’t yet bring herself to end it. It was relatively easy to make decisions when she wasn’t in front of her, looking delicious, and vulnerable, and adorable. But now? She pulled on some of the courage she’d been trying to reclaim and got on with it. This wasn’t fair to either of them.
“You know when you said you hadn’t fallen in love with me and didn’t want exclusive rights to my body?” Taryn asked.
Cassie nodded. “I think I remember saying something like that, yes.” It was an unusual way to start a breakup speech, but whatever worked.
Taryn took a gulp of water. “Do you think… Do you think you might ever change your mind?”
“What?” The question was out before she could police her thoughts. That wasn’t the direction she’d expected the conversation to take.
“Ah, shit.” Taryn ran her hand through her hair. “I told Andi that Bernice was wrong.”
