Cassie’s eyebrow involuntarily quirked at the description.Invincible. That was the kind of attitude that was sure to get you taking risks that got you killed.
Fig rolled her eyes and frowned. “No one’s invincible, Dee. We know that more than the average pumpkin.”
Thatwas a phrase Cassie had never come across, but she appreciated Fig’s pragmatism.
“We want to start a family, Dee.” Gwen straightened in her chair and wiped the tears from her cheeks.
“I know.” She gestured toward Fig. “This doesn’t change anything though, does it?”
Gwen blew out a long breath. “I don’t know how much of this I’m supposed to take before—”
“Before what?” Dee chuckled lightly, but there was kindness in her eyes. “Before you ask her to stop stunting?”
Fig laughed and had to hold her chest to ease the obvious pain. “Don’t make me laugh, butthead.”
Even Gwen gave a small laugh, and Cassie frowned. “I don’t understand,” she said and looked to Gwen for an explanation since she wasn’t a daredevil risk-taker.
Gwen rubbed her forehead and pinched the bridge of her nose. “I can’t take this away from her, no matter how petrified I am every time she takes to the stage.”
Cassie widened her eyes, still not fully grasping the situation, and waited for further explanation.
“If I stop, doc—if any of us stopped—you may as well just stop my heart from beating at the same time.” Fig shrugged almost apologetically. “I live for this. We all do. We know the risks, and we take them anyway.” She nodded toward Gwen. “The wife tries to mitigate the shit out of them, obviously, and she runs simulation after simulation after simulation to ensure she’s eradicated as much risk as possible. But you can’t account for bad luck, or a momentary lapse in concentration, or a freak engine malfunction. And if any of those or the multitude of other things happen, you just have to hope you survive so you can get back on your bike and get out there again.” She pressed her lips together. “That’s all I can tell you, doc. So I’m sorry my wife went all momma bear on you. She’s just worried about me, and she’s worried about Taryn. We’re a family.” She winked. “But you know that, don’t you?”
Cassie nodded slowly and began to retreat from the room. She did know they were a family. She also knew she’d lost her own because of someone else’s carelessness and risky behavior. And she knew she couldn’t face that kind of loss again. It would break her in the places already broken, and she’d be beyond fixing. Fig’s veiled ultimatum—be all in or all out—solidified her decision.
Taryn was one of them. She was exactly like the twins; stop her riding, stop her heart. And there was no way Cassie could begin to contemplate asking Taryn to give that up just to see where their fledgling relationship might take them. She’d resent it, and then she’d resent Cassie.
It was all moot anyway. They’d had a flippant exchange about Cassie visiting Taryn at Andi’s ranch, and that was it. Clearly, Taryn wouldn’t leave her life, and Cassie couldn’t allow her heart to fall any more. She bid the trio goodbye and headed toward Rachel and Dinah. She’d wait with them until Fischer emerged from Taryn’s treatment bay. And when Taryn was well enough, Cassie would let her know that she had to step back to protect herself. Taryn would understand, she was sure of—
The piercing scream echoed through the ER, and Cassie’s heart lurched as if trying to escape through her mouth. She knew where it had come from, but she didn’t know why. She glanced at Rachel, who shook her head and mouthed, “Don’t” when Cassie looked back at the flimsy curtain separating her from Taryn. She looked back at Rachel again and nodded before walking toward her as steadily as she could despite her legs threatening to give way and send her to the floor in a crumpled heap. She didn’t allow herself to falter and fall, because if she did, she wasn’t sure she’d be able to get up. Not until she saw Taryn’s gleaming smile again. Not before she saw those gorgeous, unusual eyes looking back at her as if they held all the love in the world.
Rachel put her arm around Cassie when she made it to the desk, and she held her tight. It took every ounce of professionalism, every inch of stoic determination not to break down in Rachel’s comforting embrace.
Instead, she stared blankly at the lank blue material and prayed for Fischer to emerge, victorious and with a check in his 83% box. And time, that cruel mistress Taryn was obsessed with, slowed to an impossibly pedestrian pace as if taunting Cassie. She was out of control again, and the life of the woman she cared so deeply for, the woman she loved, was in the hands of someone else.
Chapter Twenty-Four
When Taryn came around this time, it was as if she were atop a fluffy cloud. She could no longer feel the dull, heavy burden of her bones nor the insistent ache of bruised muscles. The volcanic swell of searing pain that had swept across the whole of her chest had also receded.Oh shit. I’m dead.Taryn squeezed her eyes shut against the urge to discover where she was. Perhaps if she denied it, they’d drop her back into her skin; she’d tolerate the agony of the crash and the recovery process and the horrendous amount of time she’d have to sit doing nothing.
Maybe this was just a mini timeout, her body’s way of dissociating from whatever the hell the doctors were doing to stabilize her. That was it; her brain had automatically triggered a special failsafe by disconnecting her mind from her body and the pain it was currently enduring. Made sense, really. She shuffled her butt into the soft marshmallow of her temporary sofa and took a deep inhalation. No fireballs. Yep, she was definitely not feeling what her body was going through right now.Nice. She didn’t get much time like this just to think. No stimulus, no environment, no one else around her, and strangely, no sign of the thousands of thoughts that flitted through her brain at any given moment.
What to do then? Plan? She figured the effects of the crash were more serious than she’d initially thought. Sure, the pain had been all-encompassing, but she’d taken the fact that she’d remained conscious and coherent as positive signs, pointing to some badly bruised ribs and nothing more. Whatever. The docs were dealing with that. If she woke up to discover she wasn’t able to ride for a while, she and Andi would just have to shift the timeline of the recruitment push. Fig was more than ready to take over as lead rider, and she really didn’t need Taryn hanging over her anyway. Maybe Taryn could begin some of the prep work for their expansion instead, and maybe Cassie wouldn’t mind playing doctor a little too.
What if you can’t ride at all ever again?
Taryn laughed at the hoarse but vaguely familiar voice.Don’t be crazy. There was nothing she couldn’t come back from, and she wouldn’t let anything beat her. A dark cloak slid over her optimism and tried to stifle it with the notion of paralysis. Okay, that was one thing she feared. After being so incredibly active her whole life, the thought of being unable to be one hundred percent independent was like bee stings to her eyeballs—unbearable. She shook that insidious thought from her shoulders, but it had already made her think about Louise and her cancer, about the free clinic and the great work they were doing, about—
A giant hand wrapped around her waist and yanked her downward, off the cloud. She slammed back onto a rubbery mattress with a yell, and her eyes sprang open.
“Welcome back, Ms. Taylor.”
The man from whom the voice had come hovered over her and slowly came into focus. He had a nice smile framed by a ridiculous beard, though she could pack for a week’s vacation in the bags under his eyes.
“How are you feeling?”
Taryn pulled in a quick breath and while there was a throbbing ache in her entire upper body, fireballs were no longer exploding in her lungs. “Pretty good. When can I get out of here?” She grinned and felt her lips crack. She ran her tongue along them, but before she’d finished, a nurse came into view by her side and offered a straw, pressing it gently against her mouth. Taryn took it and pulled in water that tasted like ambrosia. The nectar slid down her throat, cooling and soothing it to the point of bliss.
The doctor laughed. “Five days, if you’re lucky. You’ll be moved to the thoracic department where they’ll monitor you and make sure there are no complications and no infections. They’ll explain everything.” He patted her shoulder softly. “You should rest now.”
