“Maybe.” Cassie tried to find the positivity in Taryn’s question; at least Taryn had considered Cassie in her future in some small way. She sounded genuinely hopeful and that was backed up with her expression, but really, what would be the point of eight hours’ travel once or twice before Taryn set off around the world again? It couldn’t even be called a long-distance relationship. “You know I’m really busy at the hospital though, and with the added commitment of the free clinic work, I’m not sure what free time I’ll have to combine a visit and that much travel.”
“Oh. Yeah. Sure. Of course.” Taryn glanced away.
Beyond Andi and Bernice, Cassie saw Rachel at the bar. “My friend’s over there. I’ll go say hi and come back.” She slipped Taryn’s hand from her waist and began to walk away. She wanted to walk all the way out of the bar and back to the safety of her apartment, but she didn’t want to spoil Taryn’s night.
Taryn caught her wrist gently. “Should I come with you?”
The confusion and uncertainty in Taryn’s expression made Cassie’s heart ache all the more. She clearly had no idea how her news bomb had raised and then obliterated Cassie’s hopes for their relationship. Cassie forced a smile and touched her fingers to Taryn’s hand. “I haven’t spent much time with her recently.”And that’s because I’ve been stupidly spending so much time with you and letting my heart fall for you.“It’d be nice for us to catch up properly for a little while, if that’s okay?”
Taryn’s easy smile returned, placated by the half-truth. “Of course. I’ll miss you.”
Cassie turned and headed toward the bar, unable to find the composure to respond. She’d known this dream would eventually end, and she’d thought she was in control of her emotions, thought it was okay to get involved because a small amount of this kind of happiness was better than none at all. She blinked back her tears and repeated that affirmation in her head as she approached Rachel. Her time with Tarynhadbeen wonderful, and if she was offered the chance to meet Taryn again for the first time, Cassie wouldn’t do it differently. And she’d remember that for whatever time they had left. If her experience with Taryn had taught her anything, aside from the ability to cut loose and relax occasionally, it was that time was precious. And Cassie intended to treasure whatever time together she and Taryn were gifted. A broken heart was no fun at all, but it reminded her she was lucky to be alive. It was more than her brother had gotten, and it would somehow feel like a slight to his memory if she wasted any opportunities she was given.
For now though, she needed a moment to regroup and lick a wound she hadn’t expected to tend to for some time. Rachel spotted her and waved, and her smile soothed Cassie’s pain a little. Ten minutes of recuperation with her bouncy friend, and she would be ready to face Taryn again. She pushed away the quietly insistent voice that whispered four weeks would never be enough.
Chapter Twenty
Taryn fired off a last-minute text to Cassie before getting ready for her final stunt of the show, the aerial double globe of death. Over the past week, they’d managed to snatch a couple of nights together and Taryn had brought lunch to the hospital one day. Everything had been as wonderful as usual, but she was sure Cassie was holding on to a sadness Taryn didn’t know the source of. Cassie’s mom continued to be a cause of emotional stress for her, and Taryn warred with herself, vacillating between wanting to have a come to Jesus meeting with Cassie’s mom so she could tell her exactly what she was doing to her daughter and that she should stop being such an entitled, evil bitch, and simply wanting to hold Cassie while she processed the debilitating verbal battles with the woman who should be holding her up, not dragging her down. But it wasn’t her place to do any of it since Taryn wasn’t Cassie’s long-term partner.
The whole situation had caused Taryn to contemplate her relationship with her parents and siblings, but it hadn’t changed how she felt. She hadn’t had an epiphany which subsequently led to an emotionally charged meeting with them, where everyone forgave past misdeeds, behaviors, and judgments. Nor did she feel a burgeoning desire to seek a better relationship with them. But what her considerationsdidlead to was a concern that she might be some kind of sociopath, lacking in sentiment and unable to connect with people.
A chat with Andi and Gwen soon dismissed those fears. She’d connected with them and the rest of the team, and she’d quickly forged strong friendships. She loved them and would do anything for them. Sure, she hadn’t fallen in romantic love, but she hadn’t been closed off to it either. She locked her phone and placed it face down on the table when it became clear Cassie wasn’t responding.Cassie. She closed her eyes and pressed her fingers to her mouth as though she could still feel Cassie’s lips there. She wasn’t closed off to their building relationship either, though it seemed more or less impossible for anything solid to come of it. When Taryn had extended an invitation to join her on Andi’s ranch, Cassie essentially turned her down, and the underlying subtext was that there could be no possibility of a long-distance relationship.
Honestly, Taryn had no idea what she wanted when it came to Cassie, not without placing unfair demands on her, and Taryn wasn’t about to start doing that. Andi was offering her the chance of a lifetime, to be part of a successful business without having to invest anything other than her time. It made sense to continue along the path she’d been doing okay on. Her current ennui would fade with this new challenge, especially when she began to audition for new talent. And the fiery intensity of her feelings for Cassie would fade too.
They had to. Because Taryn wasn’t sure how she was supposed to reconcile traveling around the world with some version of a relationship with Cassie. She didn’t want to mess up her own career or whatever it was she had with Cassie, so they should talk. They were never supposed to be anything other than a casual thing, but the deeper friendship that had organically developed had become important to Taryn. And she didn’t want to lose it.
She took one last look at her phone—no messages—then headed down to the pit to get on her bike. It was time to focus and put Cassie to the back of her mind for a while, somewhere she hadn’t spent much time since Taryn had met her.Concentrate.Their new finale had the fans and the media in raptures, and Taryn felt like she’d been riding the new bike all her life. Gwen’s adaptations were some of her best work, and the result was so smooth, it was difficult to tell where Taryn ended and the bike began once she started to ride.
“They’re calling your name again,” Gwen said when she looked up from the bike and saw Taryn approaching.
She laughed. “They are devoted.”
“If this continues, you won’t be able to go anywhere without an entourage.” Gwen got up and placed her wrench in its perfectly wrench-shaped foam nest in the second drawer of her rolling tool chest.
“Are you offering to be my bodyguard?” Taryn shook her head at Gwen’s mortified expression. “I don’t think you have to worry. I’m a stunt rider, not a singer or actress. Our fame is localized—and transient. Most of these people will have forgotten my name before their plane lands in their hometown.”
Gwen frowned. “Jeez, Tar, that’s dark and sad.”
Taryn waved her away. “Anyway, I’ll be looking out for someone else to take my place in the spotlight soon enough.”
“I hope you’re right about Fig; I worry about her.” Gwen took her time wiping the grease from her hands with a fresh white cloth.
“I am. She’s doing great in the globe, and that’s a cauldron. Even the original globe has forged plenty of great riders. Your wife will be fine taking up my mantle.”
“Talking about me again?” Fig asked as she clapped Taryn on the back.
“Just can’t stop myself.” Taryn looked up at the giant dual clock showing the time and the countdown to their stage entrance. She pulled on her helmet, climbed onto her bike, and started the engine, and Dee and the rest of the globe team followed suit.
The cacophony of sound from twelve bikes reverberated around the pit, and the ground shook beneath their feet.
Gwen stepped off the main area onto the raised platform where her many tool chests were situated and saluted. “Be awesome,” she shouted over the thunderous din.
The other eleven riders circled until they were positioned in a perfectly straight line behind Taryn and waited. Taryn watched the bright green digits on the timer tick down, and time slowed. In her comms, she could hear Sally whipping the crowd’s anticipation into a frenzy, and over that, she heard her name being chanted. Would she miss that if she gave all this up? She shook her head, puzzled as to why the question had popped into her head at all. Andi’s offer sealed the rest of her career in this game; it was hardly the time to be thinking about giving it up. Now wasn’t the time to be thinking about anything other than controlling her speeding bike around the globes in a figure eight as they rose and split into sections.That’swhat she should be concentrating on.
“Five, four, three…”
Sally’s countdown floated into Taryn’s awareness, and she revved her engine one last time before pushing the thumb throttle all the way down as she sped out of the pit in first gear. She shifted to second and emerged onto the stadium floor. She flicked her boot up to third, hurtling underneath the globes in the center of the stage area. She and the other riders did two laps while the globes were lowered to the floor, and each of them performed a variety of tricks to draw even more roars of approval from the audience.
