“She doesn’t want you, Buster. You’d be too messy for her perfect, ordered life. Come here.”
Buster ignored her mom, as did Cassie, and he continued to stare up at her expectantly. She opened the door, and he tore outside.
“When will you be back?” her mom asked.
“I don’t know, Mom. I’ll have to check my schedule.” She might be working a lot less overtime since Taryn showed up, but Cassie wasn’t about to start sacrificing that time to facilitate more contentious visits with her mom. The fun and sex she was having with Taryn felt like some of the best times of her life. Being here were the worst.
“So it’ll be months again, will it?” Her mom crossed the kitchen and stood with her arms crossed in the living area.
Had it been months since her last visit?“I honestly can’t say, Mom. We’re short-staffed.” Which wasn’t a lie. It was just that Cassie had stopped being the go-to person to fill the gaps.
“And those anonymous people at the hospital are always more important than me, aren’t they?”
Cassie blew out a long breath. Yes. Yes, they were. The people who ended up in the ER because of work accidents were more important than her mom. The ones who did really stupid things to get themselves admitted just so they could spend the night in a hospital bed were more important than her too. And especially important were the ones who found themselves in Cassie’s care because of the careless actions of those around them.
“Goodbye, Mom.” She closed the screen door behind her and hurried to her car, where Buster waited patiently by the driver’s side door. “I’m sorry, boy.” She rubbed his head, and he wiped his slobbery chops against her jeans. “Come on. You better go in.” She’d opened her mom’s gates a hundred times while Buster was untethered in the yard, but there was a glint in his eye that made her think he might’ve finally decided he’d had enough and was ready to make a run for it, especially if Cassie refused to take him in her car.
“Buster! Get your fucking sorry self back here right now.”
They both looked back to the house at the unexpected shrieking, and Cassie’s heart sank at having to leave him there. Her mom yelled again, and after one last sorry look, he loped off toward her. Cassie began the process of gate opening and closing, careful not to make eye contact with her mom. She could also feel the nuclear heat of her glare; she didn’t need to see the bubbling rage that was maybe hatred too. Cassie drove away, avoiding the multiple holes in the rough road, wishing for all the world that she would never have to return.
Chapter Sixteen
Taryn held the driver’s side door open, and Cassie stepped out.
“This shouldn’t take long,” Cassie said.
“You said that your friend’s daughter was here for more chemo?” Taryn closed the door behind her.
“I think of Sara as a colleague rather than a friend.”
Taryn looked surprised. “Really? If this is what you do for your colleagues, your friends are very lucky.”
Cassie frowned. “What makes you say that?”
“You don’t think that what you’re doing is a big deal?” Taryn asked and smiled.
Cassie popped the trunk and pulled out her purse. “Do you think it is?”
Taryn chuckled. “I do. I think you’ve got a huge heart.” She pulled Cassie into a soft embrace and kissed her forehead. “It’s quite endearing.”
“I’m pretty sure not many people would want to be friends with me.” Cassie pulled away and locked her car. “Friendships take time to nurture and maintain, and time is something I don’t have much of.”
Taryn tilted her head. “Like I say, you only get a finite number of heartbeats. It’s best to spend them doing what you love.”
Cassie raised her eyebrows and gave a hollow laugh. “That’s a rather Utopian way of looking at things.” She gestured toward the entrance. “Come on. I don’t want to miss visiting time.”
Taryn followed Cassie into the clinic, thinking about what she’d just said. There was a certain melancholy in Cassie’s words, seemingly kissed with more than a little wistfulness or possibly regret. And as Taryn had uttered a version of her motto, she questioned the validity of her own choices. Did she stilllovethe stunts and the shows? Over the last week of practice, even the levitated double globe of death hadn’t offered its usual allure, and her mind had wandered to thoughts of what Cassie might be doing instead of laser-focusing on what she was doing. And that was dangerous. She counted herself lucky that her lack of concentration hadn’t resulted in any incidents.
She flicked through the vast array of leaflets on the wall rack to give Cassie privacy while she made her donation. There seemed to be information for every type of cancer, disease, and physical ailment, as well as mental health assistance. The free clinic was trying to do what some of continental Europe and the UK offered, but with private philanthropic funding rather than money from the government. Taryn glanced around, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible, and her heart ached for what she saw. The waiting room was filled with people whose illnesses had gone hitherto untreated because they couldn’t afford healthcare. Infected, undressed wounds; a woman with a growth the size of a watermelon on her side; and a father and son who looked in such a state of malnutrition, she could’ve mistaken them for starving Third World citizens—not citizens of one of the largest civilized nations on earth.
Cassie was donating her money, and she’d also talked about volunteering and giving her time and expertise too. Taryn thought about the money her parents had invested in her and her own lapsed license. She’d more or less renounced it because she didn’t want to be tied to their business of perfection, but why hadn’t she stopped to think about other avenues of medicine? Why hadn’t she considered working at a clinic like this? She’d thought her desperation to escape her family, and by association, Miami, had been fueled by her wanderlust, but had the wanderlust simply been a by-product of her escape? She’d been feeling disenchanted with riding for a while and hadn’t wanted to address or analyze it for fear it might bring to light what she already knew, deep down, in the shadows of her mind—that she was still lost and still looking for something special, but she didn’t know what.
She filed the leaflet on testicular cancer back on the wall and shook the thought away. She loved traveling, and she was happily rootless. Shewassure of that. But she was no longer sure of her current vocation.
“Taryn?”
Cassie’s soft voice drifted into her consciousness, and she turned toward her. “Yep?”
