It was the saddest thing Susanna had ever heard, and she was only now beginning to understand why.
“Miss?” The maid appeared in the doorway. “Lord Lancashire has called. He is waiting for you in the morning room. Your mother said you may have a few minutes to speak with him.”
Susanna rose, smoothed her skirts, and took one steadying breath. Then she went down to him.
He was standing beside the hearth, his arm resting against the mantel, and his expression when he saw her — the way his whole face opened, the relief flooding through it — told her everything she needed to know about his night.
“Susanna.” Coming towards her, he reached out to take her hands, and she, with a soft smile, went to him. “I received your note and came here just as quickly as I could.”
“I thank you.” She sighed and lookedup at him. “My mother said she would give us a few minutes to speak alone. As you can imagine, this has all been quite a shock.”
He searched her eyes. “You have been deeply hurt by Maude’s actions.”
There was no hesitancy in her answer. “Yes, I have been, but I feel relieved too. Relieved that it is all at an end and I have my answers now.” One side of her mouth curved upwards for just a moment. “And I have my Marquess.”
The sweetness of her words made his heart sing, and he gazed into her eyes, wondering at her gentle beauty. There was a softness about her now that had not been present for some time, the strain of the battle to find the truth now wiped from her face. Finally, the truth was theirs – though not without its trouble. At the very least, the web of deceit that had kept them apart was untangled, and there was nothing more for them to fight against. “You most certainly do,” he said, watching her. “Did the conversation with your father yesterday go as well as it could have done?”
Lady Susanna closed her eyes. “It was difficult for Maude kept interrupting and stating she had done nothing wrong. My father eventually demanded that she stay silent, and then, I was able to express all. He – he was horrified, I think.” Opening her eyes, she looked back at him. “He could not speak for some minutes. Maude tried to give her explanation, but he would hear none of it.”
“And now?” He frowned. “Are you to remain in London?”
Much to his relief, she nodded. “I am. Maude is now to make her choice and to make it by the end of the week. My father spoke to her privately once he understood the situation, and I have not seen her since that time. I believe she will be under much stricter supervision from my mother and my father.” A long silence followed, and Jonathan didnot speak into it, sensing that there was healing taking place as she spoke of what had happened. After some time, her lips curved into another wry smile. “It is somewhat strange, is it not?” she said. “To know that it is all at an end, that it is uncovered and brought to a close… There is something about that which feels unusual.”
He smiled faintly. “I would agree.” Smoothing his thumb over the back of her hand and praying that her mother would continue to give them time alone together, he held her gaze. “It is also a great relief, as you have said.”
“Mmm.” Murmuring her agreement, Lady Susanna drew in a breath and then released it slowly before taking another tiny step closer to him.
Jonathan’s heart slammed hard against his ribs, and he closed his eyes, aware of the knot of tension forming in his stomach. The urge to speak to her now of the future, of what he wanted, grew steadily, and he licked his lips. He had practiced these words in his mind that very morning, but now, standing before her, they were gone from him completely. Trying to summon them, he frowned hard and then shook his head.
“Is there something the matter?”
Opening his eyes, he looked back at her steadily, drawing in a long breath. “No, not at all.” Taking another moment’s pause, he licked his lips and then began. “When I first realized that all I had believed and trusted in might be wrong, I was quite sure I would never earn your forgiveness, much less your trust. I have been proven wrong yet again, but this time, in the most wonderful of ways.”
Her eyes glowed gently as she moved a step closer to him, only a few inches between them now.
“I do not think that I deserve either forgiveness or trust, Susanna, but you gave me both. With all thatI did and all the pain I caused you, I have no right to it, and even less to the happiness it has brought me. Quite simply, Susanna, you are far more generous, far more wonderful, and far more forbearing than I deserve.”
With a small shake of her head, she sighed up at him. “Oh, Lancashire, there is no need for such deep thoughts.”
“I think if there is ever a time to consider what mistakes I have made and the past I stepped back from, it is now,” he responded, holding fast to her. “I look at the past because I want to consider the future and all that it might hold for us.”
Her eyes widened, and Jonathan felt the full weight of his words settle on him, bringing with them a comforting reassurance that this was exactly what he wanted. For too long, they had been pushed apart by misunderstanding and deceit, and now, in this very moment, nothing was standing between them.
“When I first read Lord Blackwood’s letter,” he said, “I thought I could forget you. I thought that I would be able to step back from you and push away all that I felt – but I was deceiving myself.” Releasing one of her hands, he brought his up to brush lightly across her cheek. “I could never forget you, Susanna. I could never stop my heart from loving you, even when I told it repeatedly to set you aside.”
He heard her breath hitch, her hand trembling in his. “Lancashire, I –”
“Pray, let me finish, for there is so much that I want to say,” he said, his voice unsteady now. “I love you. I have loved you from the moment we met, through everything that kept us apart – including my own foolishness. To return to you, to have your heart given to me anew has only made my own love grow stronger. I do not think I could do a day in this world without your nearness, Susanna. I swore Iwould not let you go, and I say those words to you again. I mean them with all sincerity, truly.”
Her eyes fluttered closed, and she let out a slow breath. “And I could not think of a life without you, Lancashire,” she answered softly. “You know you have my heart already. You have always had it, for it has never been given to any other and shall never be again.”
He exhaled as she looked up at him again, drawing her nearer so that his breath whispered across her cheek. Her dark brown tresses begged for him to touch them, to feel the silken strands between his fingers, and he could not resist. “I hardly know how to say what I mean to,” he murmured, his hand going to the curve of her neck. “I am no poet, Susanna, and I confess I have tried, even this morning, to find the right words to say to you in this.” Seeing the flush in her cheeks, he smiled ruefully. “Even now, I cannot bring them to mind! I wish only to find the words that would tell you of my heart, that would express to you all that I feel and desire and hope for.”
Her free hand lifted and settled on his chest, searing his skin. “You do not need fancy words, Lord Lancashire. Tell me what is in your heart in any way you please.”
Jonathan smiled then, lowering his head a fraction, keeping his eyes melded to hers. “My heart is crying out for you, Susanna. Marry me. Be my wife. Let me spend the rest of my days proving what my words – and my past actions – have failed to express.”
For a heartbeat, there was silence. Then, her hand going to his shoulder and around his neck, she leaned against him, forcing all the breath out of his body. “Yes, my love. I will marry you.”
