“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” It’s as honest as I can be.
“When have I ever given you that impression?” His voice is cold. Or maybe I’m reading it wrong.
“I don’t know.” I want so badly to touch him, but I don’t trust myself. How many times can I do this until it consumes me? I’m already dangerously close. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve jacked off to memories of my lips around him.
“When you figure it out, let me know, so I don’t do it again.”
I’d give anything to know what he’s really thinking. And I don’t want to let the resentment build again, so I turn my chair more toward him, scooting closer, not only because I don’t want our conversation overheard but because I miss how close and easy things used to be. I want it back. “Is that all you need?”
“No, but it’s better than nothing.” He drops his attention to where our skin almost touches, but he doesn’t move, clearly leaving it to me.
“What do you mean?” I slide my foot over his, linking it behind his leg, trying to be how I used to be, but it feels awkward.
He leans forward, resting one elbow on his knee to hold his face, while his other hand slips behind the bend in my knee. “That I’m going to be cranky and horny sometimes, but I don’t expect you to do anything about that. I can live with it.”
I swallow hard.
Fuck.
I look at my hands. “I could help you out again…” I kick myself and add quickly, “No need for you to return anything either.”
“I told you I can’t do it that way. I’m not an asshole.”
“Then we don’t have to.”
“I didn’t say that…”
TWENTY-THREE
WOLFE
“What are you saying?” Archangel asks.
I’d thought about his lips around my cock way too much. I’ve gotten a lot of blow jobs, but none that I’ve thought about this long after and desperately need again. So it didn’t really solve my abusing myself issue so much as made it way fucking worse.
Archangel can have anyone he wants. He always has a million guys vying for his attention. I’m sure I’m nothing like his type, but I thought we had a good time. And it seems like a pretty good solution to neither of us hooking up with anyone else. We could at least be friends with benefits while doing this. But then we didn’t talk about it again, which I thought made it pretty clear he didn’t want a repeat.
I accepted it without question because he was being way more like we were, and I missed him so damn much, I was just happy to have my best friend back. But I’m jumping at the chance to have him do it again.
I choose my words carefully. “I thought it was a pretty good solution to get both our needs met.”
Angel’s eyes widen. “Are you fucking serious?”
I try to work out if this is a good or bad reaction. “Yes…I enjoyed myself.”
“But—” he cuts himself off.
I want to ask him what he was going to say, but as I’m trying to be less demanding and overbearing in our fake relationship, I wait to see what he does say.
Finally, Archangel says, “I figured you wouldn’t want to keep doing it because it’s with a man.”
Has he forgotten I got off? Because he sure as fuck made me come hard. Isn’t that the fucking definition of enjoying myself?
“I thought you said a mouth is a mouth.” Why does it feel like I’m trying to talk him into it this time? “If you didn’t like it…”
I feel like we’re playing 3D chess and I’m losing.
“No, I enjoyed it,” he says softly. It’s almost shy, but he’s never shy, so what’s going on?
